So what’s your Frumster / dating website etiquette, folks? If you are emailing and speaking on the phone with someone and it looks like a date is in the offing, do you suspend your membership? Or do you continue to leave your profile up there, in case someone better / different / more local crops up? Do you juggle dates? Do you talk to more than one person at a time, date more than one person at a time? If so – how on earth do you keep track? Score cards? (oh no wait that would be just for JDate, or as I like to call it, LayDate….don’t get me started……….)
If you have had one date with someone who looks like a potential – do you email other people you have been talking with to tell them you are currently “busy” or do you just wait to see what happens?
If I have had several conversations with someone I tend to suspend my membership so that I can concentrate on getting to know that one person. I don’t expect them to do the same, but once we have been on a date or two and know that there may be a chance for more, I don’t really want them out there looking for other dates (or having them oh-so-coincidentally just fall into their laps, so to speak).
I also would love for you to email me your Frumster Freakouts, success stories, horror stories, just plain what was s/he thinking stories……… that with your permission I can edit and blog about…..could be fun. Send to hadassahsabo@hotmail.com There is only so much that I am willing to suffer through for my art LOL
Happy Dating!! May this be the year that we all find our besherts!! Shana Tovah!!
September 28, 2008 at 7:37 am
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September 28, 2008 at 8:03 am
I was never on frumster (well that’s not true, but it was a very very long time ago), but I have been on dating websites. In general I would not suspend my membership until I had some sort of commitment from a person- like that we were no longer dating other people and had a conversation establishing that (I had that conversation with my fiance after about 2 and a half weeks of dating, when we had seen each other 5 or 6 times). If I had started dating someone, after at least two dates I probably wouldn’t really sign into a dating website until I saw where the current situation was going, but after one date I don’t think it’s a problem- especailly cause so many internet first dates never get to a second date. I wouldn’t suspend my membership BEFORE a first date happened…I think that’s definitely jumping the gun, and will probably come off as a bit desperate.
I’ve definitely talked to more than one person at a time, since internet dating is definitely a numbers game- I was very picky about meeting up with people, so I would meet maybe one out of 10 people who contacted me. I never was really talking to more than 2 or 3 at a given time, so it wasn’t hard to keep track (and the ones I was actually interested in was easy to keep track of). Out of those 1/10 people I would meet with, I maybe went on a second date with 1/5th, and I think that’s pretty standard.
September 28, 2008 at 8:06 am
oh and I do have a frumster story…so I signed up for frumster after me and my ex fiance broke up, when I was still semi-religious. But then like 2 days after I signed up I got contacted by this guy who used to be my manager at *restaurant I worked at in monsey in high school*. This dude totally sexually harassed me when I worked there- he kept asking me to go have sex with him in the bathroom, and would try to feel me up when I was passing him by. I eventually quit the job because of him. Meanwhile, while he was sexually harassing me, he had a girlfriend.
Fast forward 4 years, I sign up for frumster, and he contacted me after like 2 days and asked if I remembered him and if I wanted to go out sometime. Turns out he had married that girl he had been dating, but in the 3 years had gotten divorced. I said hells no to him, and canceled my frumster membership. (that was before the days when you had to pay for it).
Maybe that’s not the kind of story you are looking for?
September 28, 2008 at 9:02 am
Oh- do men ask for a second date??? not familiar with that notion?!