I am so thrilled that you want to be independent and helpful. I love how much you help around the house. I do.
Asking me at 6 am if you can make scrambled eggs – well, what can I tell you? sleep deprived mommies sometimes make lapses in judgement.
I said yes. You must have thought aliens had come down and inhabited your mom. If your brother would have asked to use the frother I would probably have said yes at that time of day. Sigh. It’s called taking advantage of the weak and under-caffeinated.
Imagine my surprise, nay, my horror, when you slowly sauntered into my bedroom, and casually mentioned “Ma, the frying pan caught fire, what do I do?”
This mama has never moved so fast in her life. Yes you were truthful, a quality I have been trying to instill in you and your siblings since the year dot. The pan was indeed on fire. You burnt the butter. You figured to be quick you would melt the butter in the pan on the heat turned to HIGH! Of course we all know this is my fault for allowing you to entertain the possibility of independence.
You had the foresight to turn on the vent, but the smoke alarm still insisted on making its displeasure known. I showed you how to calmly take the burning pan and throw it in the sink and smother it with cold water. I did not raise my voice nor did I panic. In fact, for at least the second time this week I was eerily calm. You kids are scared of that calm, aren’t you? You know it is the “I am so pissed I want to boil your head kind of calm”.
Do you realize what a lucky little boy you are, that after all that drama, you still wanted scrambled eggs, and your pissed alien mother actually made them for you? What am I, nuts??? No, just sleep deprived and a soft touch. In fact if you lift up the back of my hair there is a tattoo there that says that phrase “soft touch”. (On my butt it says “made in china” but that’s a story for another time.)
Oh the joy you bring to my life. I know you learned a lesson here. I know you learned the way to make eggs and I know you will ask again tomorrow to do it, and will I have learned MY lesson?
So tell me, my child, what will tomorrow bring? Who amongst you and your sibs will break my hairdryer / block up the toilet / break a window / put fart powder in my coffee…….. Do I dare ever sleep again?
Talk to your brother. Compare notes with him and maybe one of you will have learned something….although I dread to think what……
Dear heart, dear sweet soul, your dimples get me every time. The compliments roll off your tongue with the ease of a true romantic. As I told your brother earlier – it won’t wash with me today. Not unless it comes with flowers, wine AND chocolate.
Signed
Your loving but harried and stressed maternal parental unit.
“I showed you how to calmly take the burning pan and throw it in the sink and smother it with cold water.”
That’s not such a good idea. Because if there is oil in the pan, instead of butter, it can cause an high flame and could burn your beloved son.
If there is oil in the pan, just remove it from the fire and wait till it stops burning. (you could also cover it with a lid, so that the fire has no oxygen). But by no means put water on it!!!!!!!!!!!
I think it’s time to show your kids some basics of cooking…like how low or medium heat will melt things without burning them while high heat will burn the outsides of things without cooking the middle, how milk does not go where water is supposed to go.. also do you have cooking spray? If not I would invest in some…much easier for kids to use then messing around with melting butter.
AE – this was 2 years ago – they are so much more equipped now!!
Adding water to oil or butter etc. is never a good idea because if you add water the butter/oil it can spray and then you have little fire-y bubbles everwhere – even on your clothes.
A better choice is either covering the pan or pot with a lid or a wet towel. I also heard baking powder helps, but I haven’t tried it yet and I wouldn’t want to try it in a case of emergency…