All Barmitzvah, All the time!

I am totally amazed at what I learned recently about planning a simcha. Caterers quoted me different prices for the men’s food at the Kiddush and the women’s food at the same event. Which was pricier? The women’s. Who eats more? The men. Why is this so? So I asked the caterer. He said that the men just care that there is food. The women want their food to look pretty. Does it really make that big of a difference? Not that I ever looked on the men’s side while a Kiddush was going on, usually the idea of looking at 500 men squashed into a hall meant for 100 at high capacity is enough to make me turn around and catch up with some girlfriends.


Apparently, and I write this as I am trying to decide what colour and material of tablecloth to use, there are some who give the men boring tablecloths and the women the fancier ones.  I guess the standard might even apply to plates and cups and flatware etc. I was also told to get fancy salad bowls for the ladies side, and not for the men. I understand the idea behind it, I just find it …….different.


I guess in all this there is some reverse sexism for once, that the ladies get the better end of the deal here, but come on? Different standards at the same simcha? Especially at a barmitzvah? Where the MAN is the centre of attention and he should have to have less than his female counterparts? What do you think?

3 responses to “All Barmitzvah, All the time!

  1. Caterer may be right. Think about your specific guests, though. Are they likely to care? A good litmus test might be their clothing – do they care deeply about what they wear? Or are they, er, more heimish? If they do care about the way they dress, then upgrade the food, decor and utensils.

  2. It is so rare that I have even been to a separate kiddush- I always go to the womens side because the food always “looks” better.

  3. The different ways we treat men and women, says so much about the segregation and deprivation of the opposite sex.

    Hatzlochah Raba with all your preperations. Stop for a moment to enjoy the beauty behind the toiling work of simcha preperations.

What do YOU think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s