Monthly Archives: July 2008

Ten – a meme

I tagged myself from Rabbi Fleischmann’s Blog. Tag yourself if you so wish.


Ten years ago I was a pretty young thing, mid twenties, had just given birth to my third child, and life was a bed of roses. I had the optimism only young people have, and was so sure my life would continue to be perfection itself. I guess self deception doesn’t get you very far.


Ten months ago I was adjusting to being a single mommy, had been on some dates, some good ones, some bad dates from Hell. I was 30 lbs heavier than I am now (I cannot bear to look at those pics..who was that zaftige mamma??)


Ten weeks ago I thought I had my life back on a very even keel (that darned optimism again) and was starting to plan the upcoming barmitzvah.


Ten days ago I was using superglue to stick myself back together again – Humpty Dumpty makes a huge mess when he falls off the wall. I was up to my eyeballs in lists and suits and more lists.


Ten hours ago I was talking with an amazing person, feeling happy to be alive.


Ten minutes ago I came home from picking up some groceries.


Ten seconds ago I kicked off my shoes to make myself more comfortable.


In ten seconds from now I hope to be preparing for a nap.


In ten minutes from now I hope to fast asleep, tucked up in my freshly made bed.


In ten hours from now I expect I will also be sleeping, but its quite possible I shall again be awake contemplating the beauty of the universe.


In ten days from now I shall be panicking with the countdown to barmitzvah going full steam ahead.


In ten weeks from now the children will be back at school and perhaps I will be working?


In ten months from now the kids will be counting the days till the end of school, and I will once again be snowed under with barmitzvah preparations.


In ten years from now I will be possibly menopausal (oy), hopefully blissfully married to the most wonderful man in the universe, I could technically be a mother in law, or even a grandmother (ok, whoa nelly there). Maybe by then I will even have had some of my writing published.


I wrote my speech this week, the one that I am planning to give at the barmitzvah. I had no idea that it would be as emotionally wracking as giving birth. I love to write, I love words, I love creating with the gift of words. I am hardly ever at a loss for words. Yet every time I have sat down to write this speech, I have been unable to verbalize my feelings. How can you write about unconditional love in words? How does something so profound, so much a part of who I am, get reduced to a few sentences, and have justice done to it??


I had some ideas for what I wanted to say, and I know I had to include a dvar torah, being a religious occasion and all. I didn’t want to say a drash on the week’s parsha, because I am sure the rabbis and other speakers will all do that, my son too. I wanted to do something different (hey I have to be me) but appropriate.


After the Barmitzvah is over, I will reprint the speech here. Hopefully it won’t be tear stained on your screen. But I wanted to share with you the main idea, because I cannot explain how it occurred to me, it just appeared through my fingers.


Every Friday night in many religious households the parents bless their children. They put their hands on the child’s head and ask G-d to bless them to be like Efraim and Menashe – for boys, and like Sara, Rivka, Rochel and Leah – for girls. It’s a very moving time, and I feel a tear in my eye with each child I bensch, every single time. I always end off by telling the boys that I love them (and usually leave them a huge lipsticked kiss in the centre of their foreheads)


So I decided to take this idea of bensching them, and find out why these specific men are to be emulated, and turn it into an appropriate dvar torah. It has a wonderful message to it, all about sibling unity, loving your brother as yourself, staying steadfast in Judaism no matter the exterior temptations etc. I think it is a wonderful and applicable message to a barmitzvah boy, especially who is one of four brothers.


Of course I added the requisite praise for my barmitzvah boy, and I also included a sentence or two for each of his brothers. It won’t be a long speech, but it will definely give the guests a glimpse into this mother’s heart, into how she feels on such a wondrous day.


Here is a brief excerpt:

“I am so blessed to stand before you all today. I make this promise in front of all of you. I will continue to raise my sons in the warmth and love of Yiddishkeit, I promise to do my best to continue to imbue in them a sense of belonging to their people. I thank G-d for His abundant gifts, and I thank Him for the opportunity of having these children in my life. While we may never know what’s in store for us, I have faith that it will all be for the good.”


I am hoping to speak just before my son, and to have the honour of introducing him. He told me he was sad in a way that my speech is happening on Shabbat – he wanted to videotape it and keep it for posterity. I haven’t let him read it, and have promised nothing it contains will embarrass him. I honestly hope I can make it through without crying too much.


A sweet little story. We were at the store this week picking up his altered suit and ties and stuff. He was so excited. I hugged him and said “son, I am so proud of you” (yes, tears in my eyes) and he said “Ima, why? Coz I was born?” and I said that that was exactly why. He rolled his eyes and thought I was weird. I told him that when he will be a mother he will understand 😉 . I truly am proud of him for being born, for being the boy he is, I am so honoured and privileged to be called Ima by the four most amazing sons in the universe. Being a mother is so much more than anything a word, a sentence, a book, could ever say.


Shabbat Shalom!





Just when things were quiet hate surfaces once more. CNN has updated reports as does Haaretz.

A suspected terrorist got behind the wheel of a huge bulldozer in Jerusalem and attacked a bus and several vehicles, leaving people dead and injured. The police shot the terrorist at point blank range and killed him.

When will this end?

I shall update when I can.


According to the Jerusalem Post a local hospital is treating a little baby who was injured in the attack, who was apparently thrown out of a car by his parents before their car was smashed by the terrorist. The parents have not yet been located……

The Muqata was there to render Medic support. Go here to read his first person account.