If wo/man is not meant to alone, then why is it so difficult to find the right “one”, and to keep him/her? I myself am single, I have a few friends who are in the same solitary state and it seems so many of our frustrations and so much of our anguish comes from being un-partnered. (Although I would rather be alone than be with the wrong one). Our lives are otherwise fulfilled – mine with my kids and my friends, my life is BH rich and full. Others have careers that drive them and keep them hopping. But most of us yearn for that special someone, that elusive person to share everything with. Someone to just be there for us unconditionally, and for us to return the being-there-ness. (I am tired, my words are not working as well as usual).
Apparently I am supposed to be happy that I was once married, that I had the chance at “true love” – now it is someone else’s turn, someone who has never been married. I have been told to take a back seat, not take a man who might marry someone who has never had kids. I guess my life is over in their eyes? I had my chance, it got messed up, so sad too bad.
I am just frustrated right now. There are things I love about being on my own – independence, not having to account for my movements (mind you the kids track me these days…..oy) but I would so love to have someone special in my life who would look at me the way my grandparents still looked at each other after 50 years of marriage. I want that. I want that deep and abiding love that transcends time, place and everything else. Am I fooling myself that I can find that again? Should I just quit while I am ahead?