SOLITUDE

If wo/man is not meant to alone, then why is it so difficult to find the right “one”, and to keep him/her? I myself am single, I have a few friends who are in the same solitary state and it seems so many of our frustrations and so much of our anguish comes from being un-partnered. (Although I would rather be alone than be with the wrong one). Our lives are otherwise fulfilled – mine with my kids and my friends, my life is BH rich and full. Others have careers that drive them and keep them hopping. But most of us yearn for that special someone, that elusive person to share everything with. Someone to just be there for us unconditionally, and for us to return the being-there-ness. (I am tired, my words are not working as well as usual).

 

Apparently I am supposed to be happy that I was once married, that I had the chance at “true love” – now it is someone else’s turn, someone who has never been married. I have been told to take a back seat, not take a man who might marry someone who has never had kids. I guess my life is over in their eyes? I had my chance, it got messed up, so sad too bad.

 

I am just frustrated right now. There are things I love about being on my own – independence, not having to account for my movements (mind you the kids track me these days…..oy) but I would so love to have someone special in my life who would look at me the way my grandparents still looked at each other after 50 years of marriage. I want that. I want that deep and abiding love that transcends time, place and everything else. Am I fooling myself that I can find that again? Should I just quit while I am ahead?

4 responses to “SOLITUDE

  1. Just keep your eyes open.

    Love is never where you expect it.

  2. he probably sounded too good to be true from the beginning and you just ignored the signs. it wasnt your fault for falling into his trap, it is more common than you think. there are types like this that do this time and time again. they are charming and say all the stuff you want to hear. they do all the stuff you have always dreamed of, then for no reason at all, shut you off. they try and make you think you did something wrong, but you didnt. he was just done with you. in the frum world, we have just never had the experience of dealing with these types. he knew that too. check out lovefraud.com it will teach you how not to fall for that type again. if you want feel free to email me directly at watchyurstp@aol.com

  3. Girl!!

    Dont give up! You will find just the right one, at the right time. A back seat is not necessary. Enjoy yourself at this moment, be happy, and the right one will come along, and you will simply be happier.

    Trust me, it will happen!

    Love you girl!

  4. wow, i saw you deleted your ” in awe of life ” poem. dont try and erase him from your thoughts it only adds to the pain. you have to just chalk it all up to experience and just know the next time it will be real, because you will be so much more cautious. you have alot to look forward to, i know cause ive been thru the same thing. trust me it will be great, you know now, what it should feel like.

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