Daily Archives: September 4, 2008

Frumster Files 60876

Dear Ex-date,

I cannot believe how stupid I was that I neglected to suspend my membership before I logged out last time. But that doesn’t give you carte blanche to ogle my profile at your whim. You dated me. It was beautiful and romantic. It was everything I could ever have dreamed about and more. I will never be the same again. BUT you couldn’t handle the idea that this was a grown up mature relationship. You rejected me. You broke me into tiny little pieces and threw me to the wind. So why are you checking out my profile in the middle of the night? Especially after you have had the bare faced chutzpah to BLOCK me! You don’t want me contacting you on Frumster – as if I would be that freaking desperate after the way you treated me? When someone punches me, I do not keep coming back for more. When someone trashes me as a human being, I am so out of there.

So let’s review, you date and dump me, you block me, yet at 4 in the morning when you can’t sleep you have to check out my profile? What, you’re having regrets? You feel sorry for the way you acted and you want to grovel and apologize? My email address remains the same. My phone number remains the same. If an apology is what you seek to give, you know how to reach me. I can’t promise you will get the reception you are hoping for. Lorena Bobbit definitely had the right idea, although I have many suggestions on how to make the situation even more effective.

How dare you come back repeatedly for a peek at my profile after the way you summarily dismissed me? So sad too bad??!! Next! You make my skin crawl. You messed with the wrong chick this time, Dude!

You know, I should have known you were too good to be true, because even in your profile you say you never grew up, just like Peter Pan – I guess that makes you a Lost Boy. Back then I thought that was cute, now I know it was truth. There is a book you should read oh ex date. It’s called “I hate you, don’t leave me.” It’s written all about people like you, who don’t want what they have, reject it all and then panic because they can’t get it back. You don’t know what you want, little boy. You want all the candy in the candy store and are not averse to tasting every variety. You reject straight off all of one kind, but aren’t sure you want the others either so you want to go back to the first batch. Life isn’t like that, moron. You just get one bite at the apple. Well, guess what, you bit the apple and you turned into an absolute snake.

I am so secure in my knowledge that you are a heavily flawed person and I am better than you. I deserve better than you and I will find better than you. If you were the last person on earth I wouldn’t even look at you. Cuteness only goes so far. One day you will wake up and realize just how badly you have treated me and others, but by then it will be too late for you to make amends, because we won’t even care anymore. Out of sight, out of mind. You do not exist. If I tripped over you in a fruit store I would stomp down hard with my stiletto heel and walk on by. I would stop just long enough to make sure I drew blood.

So basically, rectal orifice, I am way not thrilled with you. Leave me alone. You had your chance, and you messed it up royally. I no longer exist for you, do you get it?

When you klop your chest this Yom Kippur, read the words that you are atoning for, you may actually learn something.


The one that is so blessed that she got away.

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out of the mouth of babes

I was riding my horse – my 6 year old – (ie we were horsing around) and ended up sitting on him on the floor. My skirt over his back, my legs on either side of his face, he was face down on the floor. I said jokingly “oh look a baby” – he said “I am not a baby”. I said “yes you are, my baby”. He said, “well anyway, I didn’t come out of your private parts, I came out of your belly or your mouth.”