Timing is Everything!

So it’s new years eve, you are not working, what would you spend your morning doing? Sleeping was the first option that I wanted. Alas, it was not meant to be.

 

I have had a fever for a couple of days now, with the sore throat, runny nose, achy bones crud that sometimes comes along for the ride. I hate to be sick, I hate the sympathy to be ladled on, just leave me the crap alone ok, but be nearby in case I need to whine.

 

Having been on my own for a while I have got used to just sucking it up, you are sick, do what you need to do, get over it, move on with life, coz even if you wanted sympathy there ain’t no one to give it to you. Yes, the kids are good for a get well cuddle and the occasional cup of tea; they have even been known to share their stuffed animals with me in an effort to cheer me up.

 

I am not on my own anymore. There is a lovely caring fella out there who loves me and cares for me. This also means when I am sick I can’t just ignore it – if I do it will make him worry more, and then I will feel guilty, and that’s just not something I want to deal with right now. So KoD asked me last night if I would see a doctor today. I laughed. A doctor, new years eve, in Canada, land of socialized medicine. Ha bloody ha! By this morning he had got a promise out of me (how he does that I do not know, to most other people my stubbornness is seen as an insurmountable wall, retreat, regroup and run the other way, but to him, he just vaults right over it – how does he do that??)  to see a doctor, and with me, a promise must be kept.

 

I finally managed to find a clinic that was open, and that had walk-in hours today. So far so good, right? I called them at 8 am, asked for the information and drove on over there, was there by 8:45. I stood in line to register, and was informed by receptionist that there was a three and a half hour wait to see the doctor, “is that ok?” – no it freaking well is NOT ok, but what bleeping choice do I have if I want to see the doctor? NONE.

 

So I go and sit down, pull out my crocheting and my hot pink iPod, and let’s not forget the PoisonBerry, and I settle in for the long wait.

 

After an hour my name is called – well, it was my name but they prefixed it with Monsieur – I most definitely am not a man, and I resent the implication. I was called into the nurse’s office to have my vitals taken, in French, because the nurse has no idea how to speak English. Yes I understand Quebec is a French province – but the majority of people who work in the medical industry know English too, so they can, get this, communicate. I know, shocking eh? I needed to explain a certain medication to her – me a layperson, her a medical professional, because I didn’t know its French name.Speak the lingo, missy – sick people have no patience. After 3 frustrating minutes with her I was sent back to go wait with the other sick people.

 

So I spent my time texting with certain individuals who shall remain nameless because they have jobs to do, and it cannot be know they were playing cyber hooky with Hadassah, keeping her company in her time of sickitude. I caught up on emails, twittered a bit – the usual twiddling my thumbs activities.

 

In between all of that I continued my crocheting – what is it with people? Have some people never seen a non-grandma know what to do with a sharp needle and some wool? I had people staring at me – it’s a freaking scarf, moron, aintcha never seen one before? I totally freaked one guy out – I stared him in the eye as I continued to crochet (yeah I AM that good) – he broke eye contact first. (I wonder why he put the garlic around his neck tho, that can’t have been good).

 

As the third hour rolled around I was getting very fed up with my neighbour. He didn’t want to cough over his wife, but apparently because I didn’t have to share his bed I was fair game. Every freaking time he needed to cough he turned in my direction, not even bothering to cover his mouth. I mean, come on! I moved away finally. But the people near me were all coughing too – all these darn sick people, keep them the heck away from me!!

 

I got my first glimpse of the on call doctor at this point. You know you are in big trouble when the doctor doesn’t look older than barmitzvah – it makes you feel really old. Maybe he was a teen playing dress up? I like my doctors older than me, it proves they have experience with cantankerous biddies like myself and can hold up their end of a conversation. Doogie Howser – you have a lot to answer for.

 

Did you ever notice wherever you are there is always a landsman there with you? Another jew? Anyhow, I started eavesdropping on a phone conversation – which because I am fluent in Hebrew, I hadn’t realized was taking place in Hebrew until he yelled at someone in French, but more on that later. Why did I start eavesdropping, well, he was kinda loud, and was hard to ignore.

 

So Israeli guy was talking to his buddy, asking him, tell me, Dvir, do you have any connections, any protekzia, with a pharmacist? Because I am sitting here in the doctors office already for 2 hours and my tachat is tired. All I need is antibiotics – do you know someone? What can you do for me? Come on, you know me, I don’t ask for much……………

 

He continued his conversation, was asking for an update on the situation in Israel. I could give his opinion here on how to deal with the situation, but I am not a big fan of hate mail. He is carrying on his conversation, and I for one am enjoying it. It was informative. All of a sudden out of nowhere he yells to the receptionist in French – do I have the right to speak on my cellphone? The receptionist gave him a total DUH look, and said sure, no rule against it. Apparently Israeli guy had a lady sitting near him who took exception to the fact that he was having a lovely conversation with a friend which she totally could not understand. She told him he had to switch off his phone, at which point he yelled to the receptionist. The lady was so disgusted with the dirty look he sent her way (I don’t blame him, I didn’t want the conversation to end either) that she got up and moved. Near to me. I was so tempted to call up a friend and babble away in Hebrew, just to irk her. But I didn’t.

 

Finally after three and a half long excruciating hours, and no coffee to help soothe my throat or calm my spirits (the coffee shop was taking some R & R – chutzpah) the Doogie Howser impostor called my name. I much prefer the doc that owns the clinic. Years ago we started calling him DrYummyBuns – I haven’t seen him in a while – he was very dreamy.

 

He prodded, he poked, he asked, he listened……and pronounced me sick with a virus. Couldn’t I please have something a little more exotic seeing as I sat in that germ infested waiting room for three and a half freaking hours – I didn’t sit there to be sent home with a “there, there” and instructions to shut up for a few days. Yes, he does not know the Hadassah of whom we speak. Telling me to be quiet – may as well tell the Pope to become Jewish. Me be quiet – ha bloody ha!

 

Ok so I get kvetchy when I am sick – wanna make a federal case out of it? So now I am home, I am going to have some homemade chicken soup and noodles, and its going to “feel me better” as Prince Squiggy once said. We have a ladies night out planned for tonight, at my fave sushi place, so I will rest a little in order to be able to party hardy tonight.

6 responses to “Timing is Everything!

  1. Hope you feel better soon — just take it easy. If you need to call us off for tomorrow, just give me a call!

  2. inspired post! you’re funny when your sick. (oh, and feel better soon)

  3. Despite your illness this is a great post. Feel better!

  4. I hope you feel better very soon! I went to the store today and remembered to pick up crisco (a heimish brand of shortening with yiddish on the label, only in Monsey! LOL) They don’t carry crisco or things like Heinz ketchup, only heimish brands. Have a happy and healthy 2009, wishing you and KoD and the kids all the best!
    P.S. It is FREEZING here, freezing my “tachat” off…

  5. Believe me, when a New Yorker says they’re freezing, they don’t really “know” what cold is. It has been cold, but nowhere near the awful, biting, frigid cold that “we” know.
    I am not surprised you’re feeling a bit worn out. It’ll pass in a year or two, when you’ve settled into your new life. In the meantime, keep telling us all about it, perhaps this is the best medicine for you.

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