I totally understand that you are paid to clear away the snow from the swanky apartment buildings next to my shabby chic one. I totally understand that these people who pay crazy amounts in condo fees cannot be allowed to wake up to face the day with even a smidgen of snow in their forecourt or in the driveway. That would just be a total catastrophe of the highest order. I get that, I totally do. I just do not understand why you have to bring your big huge noisy exhaust-belching truck to scrape away the top layer of cobblestones with the snow, at 3 o’clock every freaking morning. I mean, come on man! Normal people are asleep at that time (and I use the term “normal” very loosely). Maybe in the apartment block next door they have soundproof triple glazing so they don’t get to hear their condo fees at work. I don’t have that luxury. I don’t pay for you yet I get to be reminded almost daily that you are paid exorbitantly to disturb my sleep. Well, I have news for you, man. I am quite certain that your work could be done at 6am just as well, and that I would have no problem with. If I were paranoid I would think you were employed by the people who want me out of here (Mr Downstairs) – but I am very hopeful that you disturb his sleep too.
Look, I understand you have a job to do, but can you do it somewhere else at that ungodly hour of the morning? And if you have to come so bloody early, can you at least phone me to tell me to shut the freaking window?