Daily Archives: January 6, 2009

I got the shut the heck up blues…….

I really wanted to write a positive blog post tonight but I am apparently in a foul foul mood and can only seem to write nasty condescending drivel that I choose not to share with anyone. Good job I ain’t cooking or baking tonight because no one would want to eat that food cooked in that mood. Blech. 


Why am I in a bad mood? Lots of ridiculous stupid piddling little reasons, probably because I am totally overdue for a complete and total meltdown and cussdown. We all need to let out our inner biatch occasionally, and I have been so happy and in love lately that she has been totally neglected. Poor little biatchy-poo!! I am still happy and in love with my KoD – if he were here my little hissy fit would totally be history, and we would be busy making goo-goo eyes at each other. But he isn’t here, and that bites.


I am totally frustrated with technology. I was all impressed with my cost cutting measures to print my own invitations for the wedding. Cosmic joke – very funny! Ha bloody Ha! It took me, Sir Curlsalot and Lady DiddlieDee a good freaking long time to figure out that the invitations that should have been so blimmin’ simple to print, well, weren’t. I ended up having to go to the print shop anyway. I was so proud of formatting the page, mastering MSWord and all that jazz, but the invitation gremlins just sucked up my positive energy and spewed it out like yesterday’s beer. Anyhow, that’s all taken care of now much to the merriment of the print shop guys who seemed to be having a total laugh at my expense, but that could just be my paranoia kicking in again.


I am still sick as a dog, and sick of the comments of have I been fighting with my man, which made me lose my voice. No, dimwits, I have laryngitis – a viral infection of the larynx which is in my sodding throat. Besides, why would I fight with KoD? He is the man of my dreams – he could not be more perfect. Well only one way he could be more perfect, he could be HERE, but that’s not a character flaw, is it? Besides, I know in his heart he is here. (aw I am getting all mushy again, that wont do, it might get rid of the blues….)


I could go on and on, I seem to need to write a lot because I can’t talk, but I am going to shut the heck up now, put on a weepy chick flick and totally veg out and ignore the nasty world. (after I put the kids to sleep…..when do they ever learn to do that by themselves? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?)

Wedding help – please?

I spent much of the last few days getting things into place for my wedding to the KoD. It is less than six weeks to go, and the major things are sorted out – hall, caterer, invitations. There are just the niggling little details left to do – where are the out of town people going to stay, how is everyone going to get to and from the hall, seating plan, photography, make up, rings etc. And the dress, oy vey, don’t get me started on the dress. Right now as it stands I am going down the aisle in a bathrobe….


I decided not to go with floral centerpieces on the tables for the reception as it does seem rather pricey. Does anyone have any ideas what else we could do as centerpieces that is cheap and cheerful but not tacky? I am also not going to hold a bouquet. Apparently in a religious Jewish second wedding there isn’t a processional as such, so there doesn’t seem much point. Apparently no music at the chuppah either. So my whole idea of the boys carrying me on a golden litter (remember what Celine Dion did at her vegas wedding?) to my KoD – not going to happen. I will leave the camels at home too! I will just walk to the chuppah with my boychikles around me, and that will be that.


One of my sons wants to read out our fairytale at the reception – I think it’s a cute idea, but will the guests? (if he does I will totally edit it to update it). I also want to make a speech – so not done for the bride to speak at religious Jewish weddings, at least in my circles. But I am not one for toeing the line, as we all know. Shall I limit the number of speeches? How does one decide who gets the Sheva brachot under the chuppah, and who at the meal? Is one honour less than the other?


Any other wedding help you can give me? Not that I am panicking or anything – there is still plenty of time left for that. first family members due to arrive in 5 weeks. No problem, right?! Right!