Memo from God

I got this in an email recently from a very dear friend (you know who you are, toots) and it very eerily landed in my inbox at a time when I very much needed the reminder. I don’t believe in coincidence.

 

To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE
 
This is God. Today I will be handling ALL of your problems for you. I do NOT need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you. And, remember…if life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in MY  time, not yours. Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now. Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you. You may have touched their life in ways you will never know!
 
Now, you have a nice day.
God

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Chicken soup with matzah balls

I am about to break with tradition and share my recipe. It has been a closely guarded secret for many years, but there is no reason why other people should not be able to enjoy what my kids deem the best chicken soup in the world. I have had ex boyfriends propose marriage just for this soup.

The main ingredient, and I know it sounds silly, is the love and happiness you put in it. I never make my soup when I am sad. I always think about the people I am making it for, and transmit that love and affection to the soup.

 

Ok, so if you know me by now, you know that I don’t really do exact quantities because I cook by “eye”.

 

You need to make the soup in a large enamel pot – it just tastes better, trust me!

 

I generally use 4 large chicken breasts

Optional – chicken necks and pipiks (stomachs)

A whole bunch of celery, sliced

About 8 large carrots, peeled and sliced, or a large bag of baby carrots (less work)

2 parsnips, peeled and sliced

2 large onions – diced or sliced

Salt and Pepper to taste

A decent amount of fresh chopped dill

3 bay leaves

 

Put all the ingredients into the enamel pot, cover with plenty of water. Boil till a rolling boil, and then simmer for a few hours until time to make the matzah balls.

 

Matzah Balls

 

1/3 cup olive oil

1/3 cup cold water

2 eggs

Pinch of salt

Approx one cup of Matzah Meal

 

Mix all the ingredients together till you get a consistency of wet cement. Refrigerate for an hour. Boil up the soup to a rolling boil, form mixture into balls and drop in to soup gently. They will fluff up as they cook. Simmer for at least an hour.

 

Miracles

This is the story of how my youngest child almost didn’t exist. He wouldn’t be here today if I had followed my doctor’s advice. She admitted she was wrong. I wonder how many other times she and her colleagues have made such a grievous error.

 

My youngest son was conceived the week of September 11, 2001. A day that will live on in our memories – a day that changed the world. By the time September was over, we had done a pregnancy test, and confirmed that we were indeed pregnant, again.

 

My first three pregnancies had been anything but smooth – but the children were born healthy and well, and were thriving as normal children were supposed to. Since my third son was born I had suffered two miscarriages, just over a year apart from each other. So finding out I was pregnant was exciting as well as scary. Within a few days of the positive test I started to feel nauseous in the mornings – a good sign that the pregnancy was sticking. (I hadn’t felt that with the last pregnancy, and I had miscarried).

 

I was in contact with my doctor early on, as I didn’t want to lose this pregnancy too. The minute a woman learns she is pregnant a space is made in her heart for this child. She starts dreaming about the child she carries within her. It’s instinctive. And I am no different. I took progesterone hormone supplements (those of you who have had to take them, you know that I don’t mean pills to swallow) in order to just boost my body’s ability to handle the pregnancy. I didn’t pick up my other kids, although the youngest was already 3 and didn’t really need picking up that much. I did everything I was told to do to ensure this baby stuck.

 

I was two months pregnant. I felt a twinge in my lower back. Ok, I guess I need to lie down. It got worse. I went to the bathroom – I was bleeding. Oh no here we go again I thought. But worse than the bleeding was the pain. We got to the hospital, where their immediate concern was the belief that I had an ectopic pregnancy. This is a pregnancy that doesn’t make it to the uterus, but gets stuck in the fallopian tubes, and can be life threatening if untreated.

 

Tests results came in – negative. They felt that an in depth ultrasound was needed to check if the baby was still viable. The ultrasound technician declared her findings – there was a fetal sac, but no heartbeat was visible, and at this stage of the pregnancy it should be. Her conclusion – the baby was not viable. My ob/gyn was paged.

 

Meanwhile I was still in agony. They had diagnosed me first with the ectopic pregnancy, then they put me on drugs to cure a kidney infection – which they quickly realized was also a misdiagnosis. They prescribed me morphine – even tho in my mind I was still pregnant and shouldn’t have been taking it. The pain was that bad.

 

I remember lying in bed in my hospital room, with Dr ThreePushes sitting next to me, holding my hand, trying to convince me that I had lost my baby, and that I need to let her do a D&C to clean out the womb, something that I was unfortunately familiar with from my first miscarriage. I told her that she was wrong, that despite what the ultrasound showed I was still pregnant. I told her I felt pregnant, and that I know my own body. Every time I fell pregnant I knew right away. With both miscarriages I knew in my soul that my babies were lost. I didn’t feel that now. I felt deep within me that this baby was still viable. My doc was skeptical, tried very hard to shake me out of my deep denial. She told me the blood tests showed low level HcG – another sign of a missed miscarriage. She wanted to schedule a D&C for the next day. I persuaded her to hold off, at least until after I had spoken with my rabbi.

 

The rabbi was unreachable for most of the next 24 hours – which was most unlike him, but I refused to allow my doctor to go ahead with the D&C until I had spoken it over with my spiritual leader. However, Dr ThreePushes explained to me that leaving it much longer, if in fact the baby had passed, could compromise my health.

 

I managed to get her to agree to do another ultrasound. I told her that if this ultrasound was the same as the other one performed the day before, that I will allow her to go ahead and schedule the procedure. It frustrated me to not be able to be in contact with my rabbi, but I had to accept it.

 

We went downstairs to the ultrasound place. I was shaking like a leaf. I knew deep in my bones that I had not lost this baby. But medical science didn’t seem to agree with me. The technician called us in – when she saw us she did a double take. She was the same tech as the day before and the look on her face was that we were wasting her time and resources.

 

I lay on the table as she prepared all of the equipment. At that moment I gave it all up to G-d. I really felt that I communicated with Him, lying there on that cold ultrasound table. I put it all in His hands and told myself that I would trust that whatever would be, would be the right thing. I had a tremendous sense of peace come over me.

 

Meanwhile the waves of resentment were emanating from the tech. She didn’t want to be there. She made that damn obvious. She consulted with her superior, who probably told her she had no choice in the matter, as she started the scan.

 

I was too frightened to look at the screen, so I chose to look at her face instead. I had a profile view. I was perplexed to see a tear run down her cheek two minutes into the scan. She picked up the phone, murmured something into it, and continued to scan. Within 30 seconds there was a doctor in the room, having a hushed conversation in French with the tech. The doc took over the scanning. There was a look of blatant shock on both their faces, and at this point I got really very scared.

 

I finally had enough, asked them to stop conversing in French whispers around me, and tell me in plain English what the heck was going on.

 

They explained. Where yesterday there had been an empty fetal sac, today there was a “normal for two months” fetal sac and a heartbeat. A strong heartbeat. They showed me on the screen where the heart was beating. They said that it was absolutely impossible that this could have changed in 24 hours. Impossible. But there it was, in front of their very eyes. They were both very moved, and a little disturbed.

 

I was returned to my hospital room, feeling as if I had won the lottery. I knew it was still a precarious situation but I was right. My baby was viable. Dr ThreePushes showed up soon after, also in shock. She told me, later, after the birth of the baby, that everytime she came across someone in a similar situation whose intuition told them they were still pregnant, she insisted that they have an ultrasound a few days later, just to make sure they would not be aborting a healthy fetus.

 

This was truly miraculous – there was no other way to explain it. I wonder what my rabbi would have said – but at the end of the day it didn’t matter. My baby was not dead. They couldn’t explain the pain. They thought that perhaps I miscarried a twin. But at that moment all that mattered was that I was right, and if I had listened to medical advice I would have lost my baby.

 

The pregnancy did not improve much. I was on bedrest until I gave birth. 30 weeks on bedrest with many complications, but this baby was a stubborn little fighter and hung in there until 37 weeks and 4 days into the pregnancy when I went into labour. After 20 hours of labouring the baby decided he didn’t want to come out, he liked his accommodations. A caesarean was performed, and our little miracle was born healthy – 5lbs 12 ozs, 10 fingers, 10 toes, absolutely perfect. Baruch Hashem.

 

Many times I think back to that afternoon – that moment when I gave all my trust to G-d. If only we could feel that kind of trust on a regular day when nothing huge is at stake. That is a level of faith I hope one day to reach.

Taxi Drivers! kashrut vs shabbat

 

So I had an appointment today and hopped in a cab there and back. My driver on the way back was an Israeli dude of about 60. I was wearing kisui rosh (haircovering) long skirt – the whole 9 yards of being frummi woman. So he could tell I was MOT! (member of the tribe)

 

We started talking about pesach, and all the preparations. He told me he isn’t religious, but enjoys the holidays when he can get time off from driving his cab.

 

What is it with cab drivers and philosophical discussions?! He wanted to know what mitzvah I thought was more important – being shomer Shabbat or shomer Kashrut. I told him it’s difficult to compare and contrast the two, because they are both fundamental parts of being a religious Jew.

 

Here I was in a cab, getting a lecture from a secular Jew. He says, in the 10 commandments it says Zachor et yom Hashabbat Lekadsho – Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. In cab drivers opinion, because it doesn’t say Shmor (keep) et yom Hashabbat – its not as important as Kashrut. Obviously he didn’t give me a source for why kashrut in his opinion is more important. But he felt it is.

 

He also felt that the reason there is so much evil in the world is that the Jews are not living in Israel. We cannot, according to him, say we are living in the Golah, because we have Israel now. We are transgressing G-ds laws by living in Chutz LaAretz, outside of Israel. Interesting point coming from Israeli who makes his life in Canada, dontcha think?

 

So, fellow MOTs – lets have your opinion on the subject – what’s more important? Shabbat or Kashrut? Or Taharat Hamishpacha? OR are all 3 are of equal importance? Is there something more important than those?

Mah Nishtanah – multilingually!

The Mah Nishtanah is usually recited at the Pesach Seder by the youngest able participant. It’s very cute when a little kid stands on his chair in front of the assembled relatives and friends and belts out from memory what he learned in school. The purpose, some say, of getting the youngest to do it, is to keep them interested in the proceedings and feel like they are part of the whole seder. I was never the youngest, being an older twin, but we shared the responsibility, from what I remember.

These questions actually originate in the mishnah, however, the original format was a little different. Written at the time of the temple, there was a question about why we only eat roasted meat (ie from a sacrifice). These days the question about reclining was put in its place, a substitution made by the Rambam and Rav Saadia Gaon. (I read that on Wikipedia, so I am not sure how true that is). It has been suggested that instead of just dropping the question about roasted meat, that a substitution had to be made, in order to keep the theme of FOUR at the seder – 4 questions, 4 cups of wine, 4 sons etc.

As my son mentioned in his Pesach piece, the idea of kids reciting the Four Questions, the Mah Nishtanah, in different languages, is a cool thing. At our family sedarim in the past (haven’t made a seder in a few years, post divorce, but now we are looking forward to having both at home this year) we tried to say them in at least three languages – English, Hebrew and Yiddish. We added French over time. I am looking high and low for translations into different languages WITH transliteration, but it seems transliterations are hard to come by.

But so far, we have found (and I take NO responsibility for the accuracy of the translations)

English

What makes this night different from all [other] nights?

1) On all nights we need not dip even once, on this night we do so twice!

2) On all nights we eat chametz or matzah, and on this night only matzah.

3) On all nights we eat any kind of vegetables, and on this night maror!

4) On all nights we eat sitting upright or reclining, and on this night we all recline!

Hebrew

Mah nishtanah halyla hazeh mikol halaylot

1) She’bechol halaylot ain anu matbilin afilu pa’am echat, halyla hazeh shtei pe’amim?

2) She’bechol halaylot anu ochlim chametz o matza, halyla hazeh kulo maztah?

3) She’bechol halaylot anu ochlim she’ar yerakot, halyla hazeh maror?

4) She’bechol halaylot anu ochlim bain yoshvin bain mesubin, halyla hazeh kulanu mesubin?

Yiddish

Tate ich vil bei dir fregen di fir kashes:

Vos iz Anderesh fun der Nacht fun Pesach fun ale necht fun a gants yor?

1) Di ershte kashe iz,

Ale necht fun a gants yor tunken mir nisht ayn afileh eyn mol, ober di nacht fun peysach, tunken mir ayn tsvey mol — ayn mol karpas in zaltz vasser, di tsveyte mol maror in charoses.

2) Di tsveyte kashe iz,

Ale necht fun a gants yor esn mir chomets ader matseh, ober di nakht fun peysakh, esn mir nor matseh.

3) Di drite kashe iz,

Ale necht fun a gants yor esn mir alerlay grintsen, ober di nacht fun peysach, esn mir nor bitere grintsen.

4) Di ferte kashe iz,

Ale necht fun a gants yor esn mir say zitsndikerheit un say ongeleynterheit, ober di nakht fun peysach, esn mir nor ongeleynterheit.

Tate ich hob bei dir gefrekdt di fir kashes yetzt gib mir a teretz.

French

Pourquoi cette nuit se différencie-t-elle de toutes les autres nuits?

1) Toutes les nuits, nous ne sommes pas tenus de tremper même une seule fois, cette nuit nous le faisons deux fois!

2) Toutes les nuits, nous mangeons du ‘Hametz ou de la Matzah, cette nuit, seulement de la Matzah!

3) Toutes les nuits, nous mangeons n’importe quel sorte de légumes, cette nuit, du Maror!

4) Toutes les nuits, nous mangeons assis ou accoudés, cette nuit, nous sommes tous accoudés!

Spanish

¿Qué hace diferente a esta noche de todas las [demás] noches? ¿Ma nishtaná haláila hazé micól haleilót…

1) En todas las noches no precisamos sumergir ni siquiera una vez, ¡y en esta noche lo hacemos dos veces! …shebejól haleilót éin ánu matbilín afílu paám eját, haláila hazé shtéi peamím?

2) En todas las noches comemos jametz o matzá, ¡en esta noche solamente matzá! …shebejól haleilót ánu ojlín jamétz umatzá, haláila hazé kuló matzá?

3) En todas las noches comemos cualquier clase de verdura, ¡esta noche maror! …shebejól haleilót ánu ojlín sheár ieracót, haláila hazé marór?

4) En todas las noches comemos sentados erguidos o reclinados, ¡esta noche todos nos reclinamos!

Italian

Perché è diversa questa sera da tutte le altre?

1) Perché tutte le sere non intingiamo neppure una volta questa sera lo facciamo due volte?

2) Perché tutte le sere noi mangiamo chamètz e matzà questa sera soltanto matzà?

3) Perché tutte le sere noi mangiamo qualsiasi verdura questa sera maròr?

4) Perché tutte le sere noi mangiamo e beviamo sia seduti e sia adagiati, ma questa sera siamo tutti adagiati?

German

Was unterscheidet diese Nacht von allen anderen Nächten?

In allen anderen Nächten brauchen wir nicht ein einziges Mal einzutunken, in dieser Nacht zweimal.

In allen anderen Nächten können wir Gesäuertes und Ungesäuertes essen, in dieser Nacht nur Ungesäuertes.

In allen anderen Nächten können wir verschiedene Kräuter essen, in dieser Nacht nur bittere Kräuter.

In allen anderen Nächten können wir freisitzend oder angelehnt essen, in dieser Nacht sitzen wir alle angelehnt.

Portuguese

O que torna esta noite diferente de todas as [outras] noites ?

1) Em todas as noites não precisamos imergir nada nenhuma vez, nesta noite fazemos isto duas vezes !

2) Em todas as noites comemos chametz ou matzah, e nesta noite comemos apenas matzah.

3) Em todas as noites comemos qualquer tipo de vegetais e nesta noite comemos maror !

4) Em todas as noites comemos sentados em posição ereta ou reclinada e nesta noite todos nós nos reclinamos !

 ETA

from Phyllis who posted on my FB page – she got it from here

YYYY THS NITE DIFRNT FRM AL OTHR NITES 7

Y DUWE ET ONLY MATSA 7

Y ONLI BTR ERBS 7

Y DIP X2 7

Y ET LEENING 7

CUZ . 🙂

By: Ruthie Ben-Mayor; Kibbutz Ein-Shemer, Israel

(I am loving that one!!)

Phyllis also told me about this book that has different languages for the Mah Nishtanah in them : 300 ways to ask four questions

MORE:

Ladino

 Quanto fue demud’ad’a la noce la esta, mas ke tod’as las noces?

Ke en tod’as las noces, non nos entinientes afilu ves una, i la noce la esta doz vezes.

Ke en tod’as las noces, nos komientes levdo o sesenia, i la noce la esta tod’o el sesenia.

Ke en tod’as las noces, nos komientes resto de ved’ruras, i la noce la esta licuga.

Ke en tod’as las noces, nos komientes i bevientes tanto asentad’os i tanto areskovdad’os, i la noce la esta tod’os nos areskovdad’os.

Dutch*

 Wat is het verschil tussen deze avond en alle andered avonden?

Op alle andere avonden mogen vij zowel gezuurd als ongezuurd brood eten, op deze avond eten we alleen maar angezuurd brood.

Want op alle andere avonden mogen vij allerlei soorten groenten eten, op deze avond alleen bitterkruid.

Want op alle andere avonden dopen v eons eten zelfs niet een keer in, op deze avond doen we het zelfs zwee mal.

Want op alle andere avonden eten we terwijl we zitten of leunen, op deze avond leune we de hele tijd.

 *Pedantic Belgian alert!  Correcting the Dutch version

Wat is het verschil tussen deze avond en alle andere avonden?

Op alle andere avonden mogen wij zowel gezuurd als ongezuurd brood eten, op deze avond eten we alleen maar ongezuurd brood.

Want op alle andere avonden mogen wij allerlei soorten groenten eten, op deze avond alleen bitterkruid.

Want op alle andere avonden dopen we ons eten zelfs niet een keer in, op deze avond doen we het zelfs twee maal.

Want op alle andere avonden eten we terwijl we zitten of leunen, op deze avond leunen we de hele tijd.

It really was pretty accurate, only I get excited when I see Dutch on the Internets.

Lies

Afrikaans (with thanks to Kerstin)

Hoe verskil dié nag van alle ander nagte?

1. Op alle nagte ons makeer nie dryf selfs gelyk eenmaal,op hierdie nag ons doen so tweekeer

2. Op alle nagte ons eet chametz of matzah, en op hierdie nag alleen matzah

3. Op alle nagte ons eet enige soort van groente, en op hierdie nag maror

4. Op alle nagte ons eet sittend regop of lê terug, en op hierdie nag ons almal lê

and I have Pig Latin (from the English – working on the Hebrew)

Atwhay akesmay isthay ightnay ifferentday omfray allway [otherway] ightsnay?

1) Onway allway ightsnay eway eednay otnay ipday evenway onceway

, onway isthay ightnay eway oday osay icetway!

2) Onway allway ightsnay eway eatway ametzchay orway atzahmay,

andway onway isthay ightnay onlyway atzahmay.

3) Onway allway ightsnay eway eatway anyway indkay ofway

egetablesvay, andway onway isthay ightnay arormay!

4) Onway allway ightsnay eway eatway ittingsay uprightway orway

ecliningray, andway onway isthay ightnay eway allway eclineray!

and the Hebrew Pig Latin

Ahmay ishtanahnay alylahay azehhay ikolmay alaylothay

1) Eshay’echolbay alaylothay ainway anuway atbilinmay afiluway

apay’amway echatway, alylahay azehhay eishtay epay’amimway?

2) Eshay’echolbay alaylothay anuway ochlimway ametzchay oway

atzamay, alylahay azehhay ulokay aztahmay?

3) Eshay’echolbay alaylothay anuway ochlimway eshay’arway

erakotyay, alylahay azehhay arormay?

4) Eshay’echolbay alaylothay anuway ochlimway ainbay oshvinyay

ainbay esubinmay, alylahay azehhay ulanukay esubinmay?

Tagalog

Ano ang iba’t-ibang mga gabi na ito mula sa lahat ng [iba] gabi?

1) Sa lahat ng gabi kailangan namin ng hindi sawsaw kahit isang beses, sa gabi namin gawin ito ng dalawang beses!

2) Sa lahat ng gabi namin kumain ng chametz o matzah, at sa gabi lamang matzah.

3) Sa lahat ng gabi namin kumain ng anumang uri ng gulay, at sa gabi ito maror!

4) Sa lahat ng gabi namin kumain ng upo nang tuwid o reclining, at sa gabi namin na ito ang lahat ng isandal!

Catalan

El que fa aquesta nit diferent de totes les [altres] nits?

1) En totes les nits no tenim bany ni una sola vegada, en aquesta nit ho fem dues vegades!

2) En totes les nits que mengem o chametz Matzah, i en aquesta nit només Matzah.

3) En totes les nits mengem tot tipus de verdures, i en aquesta nit maror!

4) En totes les nits es menja assegut o recolzat, i en aquesta nit tots reclinables!

Croatian

Ono što čini ovu noć drugačija od svih [drugih] noći?

1) Na svim noćima mi ne treba potopiti čak jednom, na ovu noć mi to dvaput!

2) Na sva noćenja jedemo chametz ili matzah, a na ove noći samo matzah.

3) Na sve noći smo jesti bilo koje vrste povrća, a na ove noći maror!

4) Na sve noći jedemo ili zavaljen sjedi uspravno, a na ove noći svi smo poduprijeti!

Czech

Čím se liší tato noc od všech [ostatní] nocí?

1) Na všech nocí jsme nemusí omočí ještě jednou, na tuto noc jsme to dvakrát!

2) Na všech noci jíme chametz nebo matzah, a na tuto noc jen matzah.

3) Na všech nocí jíme jakýkoli druh zeleniny, a na tuto noc maror!

4) Na všech nocí jíme posezení ve vzpřímené poloze nebo reclining, a tuto noc jsme všichni lehnout!

Danish

Hvad gør denne nat anderledes end alle [andre] nætter?

1) På alle nætter vi behøver ikke dukkert endnu en gang, om denne nat gør vi det to gange!

2) På alle nætter vi spiser chametz eller matzah, og på denne aften kun matzah.

3) På alle nætter vi spiser alle slags grøntsager, og på denne aften maror!

4) På alle nætter vi spiser sidder oprejst eller reclining, og på denne aften vi alle ligge!

Estonian

Mis teeb selle öö erineb kõik [Muu] ööd?

1) kõik ööd me ei pea dip isegi üks kord, on see öö me seda kaks korda!

2) kõik ööd me sööme chametz või matzah, ja selle õhtu ainult matzah.

3) kõik ööd me sööme igasugused köögi-ja puuviljadest, ja sel ööl maror!

4) kõik ööd me sööme istungi püstises või lebamis ning see öö me kõik nõjatuda!

Finnish

Mikä tekee tästä yö erottuu kaikki [muut] yötä?

1) Kaikkien yötä meidän ei tarvitse dip vielä kerran, ja tämän yö teemme niin kahdesti!

2) kaikkien yötä syömme chametz tai matzah, ja tässä yö vain matzah.

3) kaikkien yötä syömme kaikenlaista vihannekset, ja tämä yö maror!

4) kaikkien yötä syömme istuu suorassa tai Siellä he saavat levätä, ja tässä yö me kaikki loikoa!

Hungarian

Mi teszi ezt az éjszakát különbözik minden [más] éjszaka?

1) Minden éjszaka nem kell még egyszer bemerülő, e este kétszer is!

2) Minden éjszaka eszünk chametz vagy matzah, és ez az éjszaka csak matzah.

3) Minden éjszaka eszünk bármilyen zöldség-, és ezen az éjszakán maror!

4) Minden éjszaka eszünk ülő vagy álló helyzetben fekvõ, és ebben fekszik minden este!

Norwegian

Hva gjør denne natten annerledes enn alle [andre] netter?

1) På alle netter vi trenger ikke dukkert enda en gang, på denne kvelden vi gjøre det to ganger!

2) På alle netter vi spiser chametz eller matzah, og på denne kvelden bare matzah.

3) På alle netter vi spiser alle slags grønnsaker, og på denne kvelden maror!

4) På alle netter vi spiser sitte oppreist eller reclining, og på denne kvelden vi alle hvile!

Polish

Co sprawia, że ta noc różni się od wszystkich [innych] noce?

1) Na wszystkie noce musimy nawet nie włożymy raz, w tej nocy to dwukrotnie!

2) Na wszystkie noce jemy chametz lub matzah, i na tej nocy tylko matzah.

3) Na wszystkie noce jemy wszelkiego rodzaju warzywa, i na tej nocy maror!

4) Na wszystkie noce jemy posiedzenia pionowej lub geda oni, i na tej nocy wszyscy kimś!

Romanian

Ce face ca această noapte diferite de la toate [celelalte] nopţi?

1) La toate nopţi nu avem nevoie de înmuia chiar şi o dată, în această noapte vom face acest lucru de două ori!

2) La toate nopţi am mânca chametz sau matzah, şi pe această noapte doar matzah.

3) La toate nopţi am mânca orice fel de legume, şi pe această noapte maror!

4) La toate nopţi am mânca şedinţei în poziţie verticală sau reclining, şi pe această noapte toţi se întinde!

Swedish

Vad gör denna natt annorlunda än alla [andra] nätter?

1) På alla nätter vi inte behöver dopp ännu en gång, denna natt vi göra det två gånger!

2) På alla nätter vi äter chametz eller matzah, och på denna natt endast matzah.

3) På alla nätter vi äter någon form av grönsaker, och på denna natt maror!

4) På alla nätter vi äter sitter upprätt eller tillbakalutande, och på denna natt vi alla sitta!

Turkish

Bu gece tüm [diğer] gece farklı kılan nedir?

1) hatta bir kez, bu kadar iki kez bu gece bandırmak değildir bütün geceler’nin Açık!

2) biz chametz veya hamursuz ekmek yemek bütün geceler’nin Açık ve bu gece sadece hamursuz ekmek.

3) biz sebze her türlü yemek bütün geceler’nin Açık ve bu gece maror üzerinde!

4) biz dik veya reclining bakimi yemek bütün geceler’nin Açık ve bu gece hepimiz yatmak!

Vietnamese

Điều gì làm ban đêm này khác với tất cả các [khác] đêm?

1) Trên tất cả các đêm, chúng tôi không cần phải dip, ngay cả một lần, vào ban đêm này, chúng tôi làm như vậy hai lần!

2) Trên tất cả các đêm, chúng tôi ăn chametz hoặc matzah, và vào ban đêm này chỉ matzah.

3) Trên tất cả các đêm, chúng tôi ăn bất kỳ loại rau quả, và ban đêm này maror!

4) Trên tất cả các đêm, chúng tôi ăn không ngồi thẳng đứng hay leaning, và vào đêm nay tất cả chúng ta đều nạc!

Please feel free to add some that you have picked up – I really would love a Ladino version (thanks got that one by now, posted above) as well as other languages – Latin perhaps? (Why should a seder be boring? this can certainly spice it up!)

Update on Hopalong

 

I have had some emails asking for an update on Hopalong Squiggs. So here it is. He is out of a cast – it’s been two weeks now. He is still on crutches, but after a great physio appointment this week he is now able to bear weight on his previously broken ankle. He broke the distal tibia. We have plenty of exercises to do, and the hope is that he will be off the crutches and walking on his own by Pesach. The problem isn’t the ankle so much, but the knee that was immobilized so that the ankle could heal.

 

The good thing is he is a determined person, and wants to walk and run and jump and be a normal kid again. He is frustrated at not being able to help as much around the house as he wants to. As soon as he is mobile, there is a chore list a mile long for him 😉 just kidding.

 

This morning Prince ChatterBox was asking for roller blades. I said no. Absolutely not. Only wheels the kids are allowed now are bikes and scooters.  That’s it!

 

So thank G-d the child is healed, and almost back to normal.

Ev’rytime we say Goodbye, My KoD

 

Everytime we say goodbye, I die a little,
Everytime we say goodbye, I wonder why a little,
Why the Gods above me, who must be in the know.
Think so little of me, they allow you to go.
When you’re near, there’s such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,
There’s no love song finer, but how strange the change from major to
minor,
Everytime we say goodbye.

When you’re near, there’s such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,
There’s no love song finer, but how strange the change from major to
minor,
Everytime we say goodbye.

 

Bordering Insanity

Sigh!

 

Where to begin? At the beginning I suppose. Remember when I got a new car ? and that we got the car in the states because we are moving there this summer? I drove it back into Canada soon after purchasing it, and breezed through the border on my way home.

 

Fast forward three weeks………..

 

I spent a wonderful weekend with the KoD (who has some new initials – more on those later) and left Monsey at 230pm on Sunday, in order to get back in time to put the kidlets into bed after they returned home from their other parent. I made excellent time on the roads. The roads were clear, I stopped once for gas, and reached the border by 7pm. There were a gazillion cars in front of me, it being a Sunday night, but that’s ok, I had plenty of time. (Car was at standstill so I texted my man)

 

QoH: Brder v busy
QoH: 4 booths open
QoH: 15 cars each
KoD: Is it moving?
QoH: V v slow
QoH: But I will b home in time
QoH: BH
KoD: Darn!!!!!
QoH: Its ok
QoH: Was smooth till now

QoH: Stll in line
KoD: How many cars in front of u now?
QoH: 9
QoH: 4
QoH: 2

 

I roll on up to the border patrol booth, and give the guy my passport. He asks me where I live, I tell him. Then he asks, oh-so-conversationally, “were you aware, madame, that a Canadian resident is not permitted to drive a vehicle with US plates?” Of course I was not freaking aware of that – if I was would I blatantly try to drive over the frigging US/Canada border?! What would that be, like, STUPID??!! He asks me to whom the car belongs, asks to see license and registration and all the supporting documents. Then the bastard, with a wink (a wink, little sod), sent me over to the adjoining building, telling me to park in section two, that an officer will escort me from the car.

 

You know, when they stop you at the US side, they remind you to remove all your money and stuff from the car, and they keep the keys so you can’t drive away, nor can anyone else drive it away. Those guys have guns. On the Canadian side of the border they don’t give no flying duck about the safety of your car or possessions.

 

So I am frantically texting my KoD in a total state of panic while waiting to speak to another officer.

 

QoH: [curseword]
QoH: Trouble
QoH: Not allowed to drive US plates

KoD: Should I call [ATTORNEY]?

 

Finally this female person comes to talk with me, and explains the law, that I am not allowed to drive this US plated vehicle in Canada. That I have to turn myself around, drive to the US, and leave the car there, if I want to get back into this country.

– But lady, I said, (using the term very loosely but trying at this point to still be polite), I have children waiting for me.

– Nope, sorry, that’s the law, I need to escort you off the premises immediately.

 

Then she has an idea, let’s scare this woman who is worried sick about her kids, let’s tell her that she shouldn’t have been allowed to enter the country last time with the car, and drive around for however long, and that she could be freaking arrested for that violation. Way to go, Ms BallsOSteel! I ask if there is someone higher up I can speak to. She goes to speak to her superintendent and says there is nothing he can do either. I text KoD, after having a brief conversation with him on the phone while she was talking to her superintendent.

 

QoH: I hv to come bck into the states
QoH: Anyway
KoD: Y?
KoD: Don’t lv yet.
QoH: Car cannot be in Canada
KoD: Wait. Let [attorney] speak to Superintendent.
KoD: Tell them u want ur lawyer to speak to them.
QoH: No dice
QoH: Tried
KoD: I want to speak to Superintendent.
KoD: Pls ask them for name and number.
KoD: Let me speak to [lawyer].
KoD: Tell them u want to confer w ur attorney.
QoH: Ok
KoD: Do not leave until [lawyer] speaks to Superintendent.

 

So the woman comes back and asks me to leave once more. I then tell her I want the name and number of her supervisor so my attorney can call. She says it won’t change anything, there is no point. I press her, she says she will go and ask Mr BossMan again.

KoD: Ask them to hold off til ur atty speaks to one in charge.
QoH: They will forcibly remove me
KoD: Will they let u wait?

 

Ms BallsOSteel comes back and graciously allows me to wait while we get my people in touch with the Superintendent.

QoH: Yes
KoD: Tell them u need time for ur atty to speak to Sup.
KoD: I will call [lawyer] now. Ok?
QoH: They also said I cd be prosecuted for driving car in mtl 4 3 weeks

KoD: They r letting u wait?

QoH: Yes

KoD: Gd.
QoH: I feel so stupid

QoH: I’m just freaking out
KoD: We had no way of knowing this so-called law!!!
QoH: I know
KoD: Keep calm.

 

At this point I am sat on the oh-so-uncomfy pukey orange chairs waiting to hear any news. I am trying hard not to cry, trying hard to think of ways around this, trying hard to be strong and not fall apart. KoD kept me so focused and grounded, bless him. He helped me be so strong.

QoH: I cd go to jail
QoH: They said so
KoD: We’ll get u out of this somehow.
QoH: Bc I hv already bn driving it in canada 4 3 weeks
KoD: There must be an exemption.
QoH: Or be prosecuted
KoD: How ere u supposed to kno this.
QoH: I dunno
QoH: I’m scared babe
KoD: And they let u in b4.
KoD: Why didn’t they tell u then?
QoH: They shd hv told me
QoH: They didnt
KoD: Yep.
QoH: I will end up in canada w/o vehicle until we move
KoD: Let’s not panic yet.
QoH: Hard
KoD: There must b a way around this?
QoH: *shrug*
QoH: Anything from [lawyer]?
KoD: They will call as soon as they know sth.
KoD: Makes no sense.
QoH: K
QoH: I’m glad I hv u n them
QoH: But I feel so alone here
KoD: I kno.
QoH: Its in the computer
KoD: Another possibility: I drive there and drive u in.
QoH: On phone w [lawyer]
KoD: If [lawyer] unsuccessful, I will drive up.

 

At this point another woman guard called me over to the phone, so I could speak to my legal representative, who explained to me, that while the superintendent sympathizes with our position, the law is the law is the law. He advised me to do as they said, to turn around, go into the states, get home somehow, and we will work on it from this end.

QoH: Nothing they can do
KoD: That’s what [lawyer] said?
QoH: Yes
KoD: Only thing I can think of is that u meet me in Plattsburgh I drive up now. And drive u in.
QoH: And how do u get back?
KoD: It doesn’t matter that u hv a US address?
QoH: I hv no [official] US status [yet] [not that they asked me for any paperwork attesting to it]
KoD: I lv my car in Plattsburgh overnight and someone drives me to it.
QoH: K
QoH: What if the car is flagged?
QoH: In the puter?
KoD: That’s what I’m worried about.
QoH: They r kicking me out

 

At this point I was being escorted out of the customs office by an armed official and walked to my car. I was given directions on how to get back to the US and waved on my merry little way.

KoD: Did [lawyer] have a suggestion?
KoD: Other option is u drive back and we work this out from here.
KoD: Ask them if I am allowed to drive car into Canada.
QoH: Yes
KoD: They said yes?
QoH: Yes

So I asked Ms BallsOSteel’s coworker whether if KoD drove me over the border the car would be impounded or would it be ok. She said that seeing as he is a US resident, he can drive a car with US plates in Canada without worrying. I wanted to make sure that he was allowed to drive MY car, so I was more specific. She said it wouldn’t be a problem, but warned me not to try a different border crossing, or once car is in Canada to drive it. Made me feel that if I did, I would be immediately arrested. I would be looking over my shoulder the whole time.

 

So, because my vehicle was refused entry, I had to give a special form to the US border guards, who of course had to have me enter their customs and immigration building to do their paperwork. Do you know what the main difference was? They were actually nice to me, polite, helpful, understanding. (but I am telling you they are hiring these guys straight out of Kindergarten. How can they be so young and allowed to own a firearm??)Their Canadian cohorts could learn a thing or two from them.

 

I finally cleared the US border, drove to the nearest rest stop, and called the KoD to discuss strategy for getting me home. He had been on phone with legal people too, and we were all brainstorming. At this point my anger and outrage at what happened started to give way to panic and tears and the shakes. The Canadian biatch had made me feel so guilty, so angry, so criminal. None of the legal people I have spoken to, even those in the immigration field, have ever heard of this law. EVER. And the defense that I had been allowed in 3 weeks prior? Well, oopsies, our bad, we don’t give a hoot coz we got you now. I wonder if they will even bother to check who allowed me across before.

 

We eventually decided, after much back and forth, that I would drive the 18 miles to Plattsburgh and the KoD would drive up, pick me up, and drive me across the border and home.

 

I asked KoD where I should go, and he told me to go to the Days Inn where he stayed the night after his car got totaled after the deer hit him . They had treated him so well, when the State Trooper dropped him off after rescuing him from the side of the highway. We decided that I would wait in the lobby of the Days Inn for KoD to get there (he still had a four hour drive ahead of him).

 

I got to the Days Inn, shaky and afraid and oh so lonely. Sarah was on reception, and very graciously allowed me to wait in the lobby. She even showed me where the coffee was, and offered to put the TV on for me. I just wanted to curl up into my shell, sleep, and wait for the KoD to show up. It was now close to 9:45pm. At 11, Sarah left and was replaced by Matt. He remembered my KoD from the deer episode. He kept me company, we chatted well into the dark night. Matt worked hard to keep my spirits up and helped me feel less alone.

 

It was awesome knowing that the KoD was on his way up to rescue me, totally being my knight in shining armour. The KoD has a new set of initials. KoD KiSA – King Of Diamonds, Knight in Shining Armour. He didn’t hesitate. His wife needed him, he was on his way. Dropped EVERYTHING!! I know that’s what spouses are supposed to do for each other, but I didn’t expect him to do that.

 

Around 2:45 Matt called out to the sleeping beauty in his reception area, does your Knight in Shining Armour drive a silver Pathfinder? I woke up to see my handsome Knight, and I threw myself into his arms. It felt as if nothing can touch me now, I am safe safe safe.

 

Within 30 minutes we had crossed the border with no issues whatsoever and were home at my apartment by 4 am. Once we had grabbed some sleep we needed to start figuring out exactly what we were going to do from here, what are our legal rights, are there exemptions to this rule, how do we apply for one, etc.

 

Upshot? No exemptions. My car is going back home to its birthplace to wait for me, and I am going to have to manage without wheels for the next few months, take cabs when I need to. (But you know what we found out also? If you are a Canadian resident and you rent a car in the states and want to drive it into Canada, you cannot do so. It is against the law even for a rental car.) I am sure people would say who is going to stop me here, now that I am over the border, but would you want to take that risk? The car could be impounded, and worse, I could get fined or face prosecution, and that could really screw up my immigration into the states.

 

This has been a huge learning experience for us, and ignorance of the law is apparently no defense. I wish we had known of this law earlier, we would have made different decisions. But it is what it is. I also learned that KoD would go to the ends of the earth and back for me – well I knew it in theory, but he proved it, big time. The silver lining? KoD and I got to spend more time together, and even tho this was an extremely tense and stressful situation we grew from it as a couple.

 

Its only Tuesday – when is the weekend here??

Coming Up….

I had a great weekend with the hub, but Canada Customs stopped me at the border with my vehicle. I was welcome back, my vehicle wasn’t. I will be writing about this at length as soon as I have a spare minute. We are all safe and well, that is the main thing.

Watch this space.

SlumDog Millionaire

 

 

I don’t usually write movie reviews on my blog, mainly because I don’t see that many, and those movies that I have seen are not usually worth a review. (Last one I saw in the movie theaters was the latest James Bond and it was just way too noisy…. I’m getting old I guess.)

 

That changed yesterday. Once I became a single mother I made it my business to sneak away to the movies alone every so often, to just turn off the world and get lost in a world of fantasy, music or dance. Even tho I am now a very happily married mommy I still like to escape occasionally.

 

Yesterday I snuck out to see Slumdog Millionaire. See, I love the game show “Who wants to be a millionaire”, mainly because I know most of the answers and yell at the TV screen and so think I could ace that show. Many of my friends recommended SlumDog, told me there was a love story woven in, so I decided to see it.

 

It is set in Mumbai, India, and follows the story of an 18 year old boy, Jamal Malik,  who is on the Indian version of the Millionaire show. We follow his life as a young boy in the slums, as he and his older brother Salim were orphaned, and survived on the streets using their wits and cunning. Because he manages to answer all questions up to the penultimate one correctly, they assume he is cheating and he is arrested for fraud. The movie walks us through the reasons he knows each and every answer. He is due back at the studio for the final question, but he is sitting in a police station trying to convince them he isn’t a cheat. After all, the police think, how can a simple slum kid know so much?

 

There was a little girl, Latika, who was orphaned at the same time, and Jamal spends most of his life up to now looking for her. This story is about love, about survival, about greed, about overcoming odds, about finding true love despite circumstance. Such things are meant to be.

 

It was such a feel good movie. I totally fell in love with the music from it, especially the title track Jai Ho. Here it is, courtesy of YouTube.