I went to pick up PrinceChatterBox from school. I love picking him up. He is still at the age where he is excited to see his mother, and not embarrassed that I hug him. One of his little friends came out first and just had to tell me “I wasn’t well behaved in class but your son was” 😉
He ran out all excited with a note in his hand to show me. It’s for his Siyyum on Sunday. (a siyyum celebrates the completion of a certain section of texts). The boys have all finished learning Sefer Bereishit (the first book of the Bible, Genesis). Being 7 years old this is a huge deal. I have been learning with him every night, asking him vocabulary questions, practicing reading etc. I was so thrilled that the Siyyum is on Sunday. I told him how awesome it will be and how proud I am.
I then looked at the invitation. “Fathers and grandfathers are invited to attend.” You know what that means – mothers and grandmothers are most Unwelcome. Now, you have to understand, this doesn’t surprise me, I am used to the misogynistic tendencies of the Yeshivish world, but for some reason I hadn’t allowed myself to consider the possibility of me being excluded, after all I am the only full time parent here. This time those seven words just cut me to the quick. Why can I not shepp nachas from my son and his class? Why can I not be there to share in their moment of pride? There is absolutely no allowance made for special circumstances.
My son doesn’t seem to care either way – he will show the invitation to his father and I am sure he will do his best to attend. So long as he has one parent there he will be happy. My baby is growing up, this is a rite of passage in a way, and I don’t get to be there.
I know I am irrationally angry, but sometimes living in this community with these ideas and ideals really bites.