Hello and welcome to the Royal Bank Of Ima. How may I process your request?
For allowance press One
For lunch money press Two
For all other inquiries press Zero
*One is Pressed
Press 1 if homework has been done (I will know if you are lying)
Press 1 again if bed is made
Press 1 again if room is in order
Go back to your room and clean up and then call again, I know you are not being truthful.
*Two is Pressed
Press 1 if this is the first request this week
Please enter the menu for the day
Press 1 if it is a balanced meal
Press 1 if you promise to have a vegetable too
*Zero is Pressed
I am sorry. The Bank of Ima has temporarily run out of funds because all her customers are bleeding her dry. Please try again later. Our advice to you before you try again – make sure all your clothes are in the hamper, your bedroom and bathroom are clean, your homework is done, your laundry put away, your teeth are brushed, you have made a fresh pot of coffee so you can serve a coffee to your Ima – if you have satisfied all these conditions you may find that there is a possibility of available funding.
FWIW, we’re working on getting Flamette the Older to Play Nicely with Flamette the Younger (and you’re worried about stepkids???) The deal is that for every day that things run smoothly, she gets a song off of iTunes (all of about $1 US). For every day where it’s not clear who got in who’s hair, there is no reward, and when she is caught tweaking her sister in one way or the other, she looses a song. This has gone on two weeks and she’s gotten two or three songs., and has yet to lose one.
(Signed the First National Bank of David)
I LOVE this!!!
Thanks for the laugh!!
David – its great that it works for you. i have to come up with something that will work for my lot.
RivkA – i neglected to add a third option. If you need batteries press 3. 3 is pressed. I gave you batteries last week. if you have run out already go earn some money honestly to pay for more batteries – or alternatively, read a book instead of playing gameboy!!
I don’t think my kids would find this funny, but I am laughing out loud right now!!