Daily Archives: May 24, 2009

P & V mood

I seem to be in a ranting mood, so this Dixie Chicks song must be my theme song today…..

Macabre happenings

 

Prince ChatterBox was invited to spend the afternoon with a friend. We drove over there, to find the street cordoned off at both ends with police cars and police tape. I parked up the hill and we made the two block trek on foot, the boys chattering amongst themselves on what they think may have happened. We drop him off, and his friends parents tell us there was just a stabbing on the street and where there is a group of traffic cones, that’s where the guy got stabbed – there is blood on the street. Kids had to go run and look to see the blood. There is a small parade of shops nearby which were forced to close so that the police could call the CSI people and look for evidence. This really was CSI – Montreal.

 

I can’t find any news online yet about it, it just happened a couple of hours ago, but my girlfriend who also lives on the block told me the stabbing victim had died.

 

It’s all my boys can talk about. And I am sure it will be the talk of the school tomorrow. It scares me, the mother, that there are people like that in our neighbourhood, I am concerned for the kids’ safety. But to the kids, this stuff is “cool”. Sigh. I don’t even know if I want them to understand the scare-factor here. But I do wish Gil Grissom would show up……swoon! (please don’t send Horatio or Gary Sinise…..)

 

ETA (may 26 2009) the kids tell me that the dude isnt dead, that it was 2 drunken louts that got into a fight and one stabbed the other, but didn’t kill him. I wasn’t able to find anything online…

Israel Street Fest – a rant

street fest 09 001Every year the Jewish community in Montreal puts on a street festival – all the organizations are represented, the kosher restaurants have little satellite tents there, there are rides for the kids – it’s all about celebrating Israel. 

street fest 09 005

There is usually a stage where there are singers and dancers and the hora is danced till it can’t be danced any more. It’s always fun.

 So I am watching the performances, having eaten a falafel. (I could have had a kosher beaver tail but the idea just grossed me out even tho its just fried dough. It’s a Quebec thing, I guess, like Poutine). I see a throng of gaily dressed and matching girls walk through the crowd to the stage. On closer inspection I see that they are dressed as belly dancers. What on earth does a belly dancing troupe have to do with celebrating Israel? Maybe I missed it in the introduction?

street fest 09 007They were very good, I will say that, but a bunch of teenage girls shaking their boobs and their booty, in my opinion, was extremely out of place at this event. And then, to add insult to injury, along came the young ‘uns, couldn’t be more than 10 years old, doing moves on the dance floor that I would imagine would fit better at a strip club, a couple of them wearing tube tops that fell down exposing their prepubescent chests for all to see. What the heck is wrong with society today that we are sexualizing little girls like this? I am sure they could have danced just as well in a tee shirt over their leggings – did they have to bare so much skin? I was going to include a photo of them, but on second thoughts I chose not to. they are still minors.

 

I am so not a fuddy duddy – but certain things make my blood boil. I came to the street festival to celebrate Israel – not see half naked girls shaking and gyrating to non-Israeli music. We left soon after.

 

For me, this year, Israel Street Festival – #FAIL!

So cute

 

So my littlest prince is telling me all about the parsha of the week, Bamidbar, and he keeps talking about this dude “Gus” who gets to carry the stuff from the Mishkan. He was 100% convinced that the Torah talks about “Gus”. We looked at the parsha reading together. Gus is really called “Kehas”. Totally adorable.

Oh get a life!

 

I was recently at a Shabbat table with another guest. One who had come over from Israel to raise money. For herself. She just married off a child, had another to marry off, a single mom etc…. Life is tough for everyone. (if you are really broke how can you be wearing a $2,000 custom sheitel??)

 

From the outset this woman made me uncomfortable. I am not the type to wash my dirty linen in public, as most of you know from reading the blog. There is a lot I do not talk about here, and a lot that in real life I only share with those nearest and dearest. What really put me off was her giving me her sales pitch on Shabbat, in my friend’s warm and inviting kitchen, before the meal and in between courses.

 

She heaped brachot on me for my children and my marriage etc. Very nice. But at every opportunity (except when actually sitting at the dining table) she told me more and more of her sad story. How hard life has been for her. How Hashem sent her such tzoros (troubles). Cue the violins! She even asked if she could come over Motzei Shabbat (sat nite) to see me – i.e. hit me up for a donation. (I could maybe spare a nickel!).

 

Look, I don’t want to come off as being insensitive, but there is no one that I know in this world who hasn’t had tzaar in their life. It’s how you deal with it and learn from it that counts in my book. It’s not a contest –“my life has been worse than yours. My issues and sorrows are ten times worse than your petty tzoros.”

 

I have been through a lot in my life, most of it not chronicled here. Why have I not shared it all? Because it’s in the past. I have learned the lessons I needed to learn from the experiences. I have dealt with the emotional baggage and I have moved on, a better person. I don’t expect anyone to pick up the tab for me because I have had a hard life. If we all did that, this economy would be in a worse state than it already is.

 

I firmly believe that God sends us these challenges to do just that – challenge us. See how we stay true and firm in our faith. It’s easier to say that after the fact, sure, but when going through hard times, we must remember God has his reasons. I felt like telling this woman that I live apart from my beloved husband, that we don’t know when we will be together for good, I felt like unburdening my own soul to her – just so that she would know I am not trouble free, but if I did that then I would be descending to her level. Show me yours and I will show you mine. That is not who I am.

 

I know that asking people for money is a very difficult thing. There have been times in my life that I have had to do it and it made me feel very small and embarrassed. I am sure she has it tough. But swallow your sob stories woman, get over your sad life, and do what you can to make it better. Yourself. Don’t look to others to improve your life. Only you can do that, with a better attitude.

 

Until she accepts responsibility for putting her life in order, she will always be a victim of her circumstances. Victims give the power and control to the nasty things that happened. When these events can no longer cause you pain, you are no longer a victim. But you have to make a concerted effort to work past the pain, which is not easy. But what would you rather? Being a victim all your life, or one free of the hold of the past?

 

I know it sounds like I am being judgemental, perhaps I am, maybe it’s because I have worked so hard to overcome so many obstacles, that I don’t understand why someone else cannot or will not. This woman will for sure call me. I will tell her point blank that I have no money to give her. I will wish her hatzlacha and move on.

 

Maybe I wouldn’t be so negative toward her if she hadn’t started her pitch on me on Shabbat. I felt that was just so tacky. I didn’t allow it to spoil the good time with friends, but it still rankles within me.