Been discussing some wedding traditions on twitter this morning. I started the ball rolling with a question about why a chattan (bridegroom) unties his tie and shoelaces under the Chuppah. There were some interesting answers, but the general consensus of opinion is that bride and groom should be unfettered and knot free when they tie the ultimate knot with each other.
As things do on Twitter, the conversation veered off on a tangent, to the custom of the wife buying the husband a watch as an engagement / wedding gift, originally it was a watch with a chain, to symbolize their bond.
So, those of you in the religious community know that there are aparently unwritten rules for an engaged couple when it comes to gifts for their marriage and all of that. No one sent us the memo so we didn’t do all of this, and guess what, we are still happy. Of course you have to understand this is just based on stuff I have heard, with a little poetic license thrown in. I will list those I know about, and I would ask that you add to it. Apparently it is bad form to not fulfill these obligations.
- No flowers are to be given to the girl by the guy until the engagement. And then she is to expect a HUGE arrangement for the Vort.
- After the engagement there is a nice sized diamond ring expected (ok, check…)
- With earrings, a bracelet and matching necklace to follow before the wedding. Diamonds of course. (ahem, KoD…..hint hint…just kidding I’d prefer a Harley)
- The girl has to buy the guy a decent expensive watch and nice set of cufflinks, and a set of Shas. Her family must buy him a tallit. (ok the tallit is the one thing we did….phew)
- He has to buy her machzorim for all the holidays, and pearls to give her in the yichud room.
- His family is to buy the expensive sheitels for her.
- The girl’s Daddy has to buy them a house and a car and pay for son in law to sit in kollel all day.
Anything I missed?