(I got this as a forwarded email and I edited it to suit my purposes. It gave me quite a giggle. Hope it does the same for you. 😉 )
It is with great stress, emotional and physical fatigue and incredible financial sacrifice beyond comprehension,
that we invite you to join us as our wonderful son
is called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah
Saturday, May 12th –
(yes we realize its Mother’s Day Weekend)
14 Bailey Rd
Montreal , Quebec
at the ungodly hour of 9 am
Even though you don’t really need to be there until 10:20 a.m. to catch the real action
If you make it through the 3-hour service, please skip the kiddush (it’s just cookies and cake) and join us instead for the ostentatious luncheon meal
(Kosher, got to do that to keep the natives happy),
which starts at 1 PM, (not 2 PM.. or you will miss out on the 2,000 canapes)
Fancy Shmancy Country Club
2500 Cote De Liesse
Montreal , Quebec H3S
(which we had to join just for this event and you would not believe the initiation fees)
Please have the courtesy of showing up if you RSVP that you are attending,or you will be billed for $210.00 a plate if you are a no-show.
Please RSVP as soon as you get this and not a day before the
cut-off date. I can’t take the stress.
The gift of choice is either green, or contains a routing and account number
Hope you can make it!
The assorted parents and step-parents and grandparents of the aforementioned kid.