Daily Archives: September 15, 2009

Fair’s fair

I have stopped home for a quick spot of lunch and am running back out again. Got to get all my shopping in so that first thing Thursday morning I can start the cooking and baking marathon for Rosh Hashannah. The KoD will be with us this year – our first Rosh Hashannah together. FTW!! (For The Win)

So apparently there is a tradition, minhag, halacha(?) brought down somewhere (anyone know where?) that a husband has the duty to buy his wife new clothes or new jewellery (or both) for the shalosh regalim – Pesach, Sukkot and Shavuot. I was wondering why men need to be told to do this – surely they appreciate the work we do so much that they would think of this all on their own? My KoD thanks me for all I do and I know he appreciates my hard work. Ok so the thank you doesn’t always come with diamonds attached, but do we really need that? Surely a beautiful bouquet of flowers erev chag, any chag, is enough? (hint hint) Are our husbands letting us down if they don’t bring us gold three times a year? Who has that kind of money? And as for them buying us clothes…. Let me put it this way – give me the money and I will buy it myself. I am sure these husbands know their wives’ taste and size….but drive us to the shops and we will spend the hour or two in each store trying on and discarding until we find the right thing. Put up with it with good grace and you can come with us, otherwise hand over the charge card and just pay the bill when it comes….

Seriously, though, we all work very hard at our jobs, whether outside the home or inside or both. In a traditional marriage the wife does the lion’s share of the cooking and cleaning and child rearing. So yes it is nice for them to be appreciated. But the husbands work darn hard at providing for their families – where is the tradition that they should have something new every holiday? I think there should be a reciprocal or shared arrangement as both parts of the couple contribute to the household in many different ways. Flowers can be appreciated by everyone. Chocolate, liquor, candies etc – for the whole family. the kids should be encouraged to do something that thanks both parents for the hard work put in to making the holidays so enjoyable. A hand made card, being quiet for an hour so the folks can rest, watching younger siblings at the park, clearing the table without being asked. Or they can do what my boys sometimes treat me to – they make me sit at the Shabbat table and don’t allow me to lift a finger and insist on serving.

We don’t need to spend money on saying thank you. We all need to know that we are appreciated.

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Those of you who wear sheitels – which do you wear? Synthetic? Custom? Human? Blend? How much is the most you have ever paid? I am wishing I could afford a custom human hair wig that looks more natural than anything I have ever worn. Ethically, I am opposed to spending so much money on a wig, but practically I know that the $1500 US wig will last for years if I take good care of it. The most I ever spent was $500 CDN on a great synthetic sheitel.

So sheitel wearers, let me know your experiences, and whether it is even worthwhile considering making such a huge purchase.

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This Year is Different

For some reason we never did the whole simanim thing at our house over Rosh Hashanna. No head of a fish or sheep on the table,  but we always ate a pomegranate and dipped apple in the honey. The kids never went for the challah with the raisins, and this year, seeing as I am going to be baking the challahs, I will make a few small ones without raisins for them, and the bigger ones with raisins for me and my KoD.

I was wondering what you do for the simanim, how you prepare all of these different foods, if you have added your own traditions and what they are. For example –  do you eat lettuce, raisins and celery so you can say “Let Us have a Raise in Salary” (ok, not my joke, but people actually do this…). This is the first year I plan to do all of the simanim and I need as many ideas as I can get.

and what do you do for the “gourd”?

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