Daily Archives: October 12, 2009

Damn You Chicago!!

I was doing great. I barely shed a tear today, leaving my KoD in Monsey after two and a half weeks together. My lower lip trembled but I didn’t give in. I was strong. I was mature – this is part of what we signed on for, and it won’t have to happen too many more times. Soon enough we will have our visas and 333 mile drives will be a thing of the past.

The radio was my undoing 3 hours later. Chicago. “Hard to Say I’m Sorry”. It came on the radio and just triggered the most humongous outpouring of tears. We hadn’t fought, so it wasn’t that. It was the first line “Everybody needs a little time away, I heard her say, from each other” – and my heart was crying out that it wasn’t true. I don’t need time away from the KoD. I crave time with him. Being apart from him is the worst feeling. At that point, closer to Montreal than to Monsey I seriously considered just turning the car around at the next exit. You cannot imagine the ache I felt inside, knowing I was driving towards my boys and away from my husband. The tears just didn’t stop.

I wanted to be able to know that I kept it together the whole way home. I haven’t yet managed to do that. I should have known better than to listen to the radio. After that almost every song made me cry. Even Hotel California – oy, don’t even ask lol!!

And no, there was no envelope from the Consulate waiting for me…tomorrow is another day.

I leave you with Chicago. Hard to Say I’m Sorry

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