Daily Archives: October 18, 2009

Just a short kvell

My boys are the bestest. They truly are. With me being the only parent in the house, and being so sick that I have barely left my bed in days, they stepped up to the plate. On Friday the bathrooms were scrubbed, the kitchen cleaned, laundry was done, errands were run, the Shabbat table set, the candlesticks prepared, bedrooms tidied, the mail retrieved… the list goes on. All four of them worked really hard to make a nice Shabbat.

My boys worked so hard, and I am so proud. Lenny actually said to me just before Shabbat – Ima, I am so tired, now I understand why you are exhausted before Shabbat comes in, and there were 3 other people helping me. You do it all alone. Good lesson to learn I think.

BH we had awesome friends who cooked for us and we are truly grateful. We could taste the love and affection in their yummy food. Thank you friends. You know who you are.

BH I am starting ever so slightly to feel better. Have been nagged at worried about by people near and far, and warned not to overdo even when I do start to feel better. I am trying, but I am so stubborn and really want to get everything done my way. But this infection was a wake up call to slow down and relax a little bit.

Must have been awful for my KoD being so far away and unable to do much for us except worry. Honey – just knowing you are sending me your love and warm fuzzies from 333 miles away helps. You know that. Sorry I was so teary on the phone before. Sometimes I can be a little emotional!! (shocking, I know)

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How to be a good ex spouse / co-parent (part two)

Part One of the Series is here.

The children ALWAYS come first, no matter what.

Let’s say you are the custodial parent, and you have a responsible job with people depending on you at the office. The school calls with an emergency – your son / daughter got hit in the eye with a hockey puck and needs to be taken to the ER. But you have an important pitch meeting in an hour. What do you do? Call non custodial parent to deal with child emergency so you can go to your meeting? Or cancel meeting because your child comes first? (If you are out of town on business it’s another matter, but arrangements would have to be made for you to get home asap). OR you are getting ready for work, the kids are getting ready for school, and the radio announces a snow day (cause for great celebration in our house, I will attest to that), that school is cancelled. You are expected at work – what do you do?  Insist the other parent take time off work so you can go to work? To me it’s a no brainer. Kids are home, in your home, therefore you miss work. If this happened at a time when they were physically staying with the non-custodial parent, I would expect that parent to also miss work, as the children are physically in his/her custody at that time. What if one of the kids was sick and couldn’t go to school – you’d stay home? Right?

As with everything when both parents are still involved in their children’s lives – even if you are the one taking care of them, if the kid is going to the ER – you need to inform the other parent, if the kid is sick, inform the other parent – the other parent, custodial or not, has a right to know everything about his / her child.

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