You are probably sick of hearing how difficult a week this has been for me. I am starting to fall apart at the edges but you guys won’t let me!! My girlfriends have sent me cyber-rope through facebook, so that if I get to the end of my rope, I have something more to hold onto. Some of it is even pink. My twitter buddies did twitter karaoke with me and we sang “I will survive”. My JewCrew have kept an awesome dialogue going that I have tried to follow – maybe when I have 6 years of the Mir under my belt I might be able to follow. My friends, RL ones and cyber ones, have been there for me, quietly giving me support. My own Pink cheering squad. A good friend here has been doing small grocery shops for me.
I lost it last night. Had a real huge crying jag while on the phone to my KoD. Bless him, he listened and didn’t try to fix. He seems to always know the right thing to say. I am not usually this big crybaby. Yeah, I cry at ridiculous commercials, and at weddings, and when someone says something really sweet. But that’s just a few choice tears. Last night was a full on tear-fest. Almost got to the hyperventilating stage that kids get to when throwing their tantrums.
What was getting to me? After a week of Florence Nightingale-ing I have to now think about Shabbat, go grocery shopping and cook. Something I do every week with joy. I am so tired and so worn out that just the idea of it made me shake. I am so desperate for a break. This single mommy thing is wearing thin about now. Add to that I wanted to do laundry and cleaning to day and the apartment building’s water is being turned off between 9 and 4. Fun…not! 4 kids home, and they cannot flush??
The kids will be fine while I pop to the shops. As they are on the mend I will give them a list of chores to do. My oldest will watch them, not a problem. I will get it all done. I could buy in all the Shabbat food, but the kids are still healing and they love my cooking. They need Ima’s chicken soup and schnitzel. I plan to bake challahs – kneading the dough will probably help me get out a lot of my frustration. But last night I was just so overwhelmed. I need a job-lot of Calgon to take me away. Serenity Now!!
This too shall pass…..Hook up the coffee IV……