Panic Mode

This has been an insanely busy week. My girlfriend got married yesterday – she was the most beautiful bride anyone ever saw. Seriously. It was an awesome wedding. But because of the wedding, and helping her with preparations and trying to run my own life at the same time I got next to nothing done in the house this week.

This morning I woke at 5.45 (my usual time, after falling asleep at 3 am) and had my coffee, wrote my weekly email to friends and family, and started to think about all I needed to do today to get ready for Shabbat. Then my son told me he was out of white shirts and needed me to do a wash before Shabbat (I had been planning on doing laundry on Sunday). And then I started to panic.

“How am I going to get everything done? There are 5 loads of laundry to do (once I am doing one, I may as well do the rest), the bathrooms need cleaning, my bedroom is flying, the kitchen needs to be cleaned, I need to cook up the regular storm for Shabbat – and get the kids off to school and I have to sew buttons onto the HockeyFan’s suit jacket, and have more coffee”. I was convinced that there was no way on God’s green earth that I would ever be able to accomplish anything today. I had a mini tantrum, the tears were rolling down my face, I bemoaned the lack of paid help in the house (a luxury I would love to be able to afford), I hugged the kids fiercely and explained I was overwhelmed, not mad at them. Of course, them being the delicious boys that they are, they offered to stay home from school and help me (didn’t happen), or to help me when they get home from school. They all cleaned their bedrooms before they left for school, which was a big help.

All the while I was panicking I kept hearing the KoD’s voice in my head. “You will get everything done, you always do, take it one thing at a time” – you think he knows me yet?!! Of course he is right, he usually is. Thank you Dude….always there when I need you.

Here it is now 8:15 a.m. and I have two loads of laundry going in the washer and drier, one waiting to be folded, the chicken soup is bubbling on the stove, my bed is made, and inroads have started to be made on the mess in my room, the dining room and living room are neatened up, the dishes from yesterday have finally been washed, the kitchen has been swept. It’s too late or too much to bake challah today, but I am forgiving myself for that.

I will do all I need to do, and I will do it without this panicked feeling in my chest. I am going to chalk that up to overexcitement and lack of sleep.

Remind me next time I am totally overwhelmed, that I can do it all. I know I can, just sometimes I guess I doubt myself.

Have an awesome weekend – I am off to clean some toilets. Such a glamorous life I lead!

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11 responses to “Panic Mode

  1. shabbos will come together even if you don’t do it all b/c you don’t have to necessarily cook & bake up a storm all the time. sometimes, you are entitled to take it a bit easier & it doesn’t make you less of a wife/mother. life really does go on EVEN if you don’t do it ALL. like you said, you will forgive yourself for not baking challah & why shouldn’t you?! PS-have fun with the toilets 🙂

    • when I was a newlywed 15 years ago, Batya, I took a photo of myself cleaning toilets to send to my Mum to prove I did actually know what to do! Done it a gazillion times, and it is never fun. 4 boys – ’nuff said!

  2. I am off the clean toilets too, on my day off from work!

  3. BTW, this morning before I read this I published a post including the words “everyone has cleaning help.” So in the interest of truth etc. I edited to add “everyone except me and Hadassah” lol

  4. Not most single momies.
    This one, weighing in with only one boy but two adolescent girls and one more on her way. I say: toilet cleaning most fun when someone else does it for you ( a girl can dream can’t she?) mine are calling me I must tear myself away from the keyboard.
    Shabbat Shalom

  5. Lady Lock and Load

    Great Hadassah, you are wonder woman!!!

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