Note to self

Have flashcards printed and carry them with all the time. The message they need to contain, each on an individual card, is as follows.

  • No I have not yet moved, but my fist might just move of its own volition very soon
  • Indeed I am a skinny wench, jealous much? Or
  • Indeed I am a skinny wench, when was the last time you saw your feet??
  • Yes I am still married (disappointed not to have given you gossip to spread on the yenta-net. So sad too bad)
  • No I am not pregnant, just bloated. That’s what a full stomach looks like on a skinny wench (see above)
  • If we need advice on our family planning you will be the last person I call
  • I really don’t want to know what goes on in your bedroom, so why do you think I would tell you about mine?
  • Just because your husband needs help doesn’t mean everyone’s husband does. Mind you if I had to look at you in that way I would need a 24/7 sleeping pill.
  • I am so sorry that you think that way. Must be hard to be so dumb
  • Why are my nails so long? So I can scratch your eyes out
  • How do I walk in these heels? Like most people, one foot in front of the other!
  • The name is Mrs Milner. Not Mrs Whatever-your-name-is-now….

Disclaimer, I am not rude and mean by nature but sometimes stupid people really tick me off. They just open their mouths to change feet. I am usually gracious and smile politely and walk away, but sometimes I wish I wasn’t so nice.

Please feel free to add your own flashcards…

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18 responses to “Note to self

  1. Oh, I am ALSO getting flashcards done. 🙂

  2. I’m thinking I’ll just pre-load all of the flashcard messages I’ll need on my blackberry. I’ve got an 8GB memory card, so I’m hoping that’d be sufficient. Either that, or I’d have to shlep around with something like a 3-ring binder.

  3. As a working mother I get a few stupid questions, like

    Q: “What are you doing over the summer?”

    A: “Working.”

  4. wow! snark much!

  5. LOL- it’s Monday- right?!

  6. hey H. i have another one to add to your collection:
    Yes, as a matter of a fact, I AM a full-time stay at home mom & yes it’s a LOT of work, thank you very much :)!!!

  7. My favorite: “I am so sorry that you think that way. Must be hard to be so dumb” — LOL!!

    Though I also really like Batya’s! Though my version was more like:
    “I work, I just don’t get paid. And, btw, it is way harder than any other job I’ve ever had!

  8. Hadassah,

    Oh, your comment hits so close to home! My wife often complains of the “none-of-your-business” comments. She suffers from diabetes and has an eating disorder. She always complains to me about the insensitive comments she hears. One of the worst she has to put up with (the opposite of your problem) is “Are you losing weight?” (She hates that even from doctors.) Her response is basically, “Thanks for pointing out the obvious and keeping me from getting to my goals.”

    Here are some other good ones:

    “What are you doing for the diabetes?” Her response (or more accurately, what she WANTS to say): “I have doctors taking care of this, thank you.”

    “So-and-so does this for (diabetes/weight)–you should do this.” Her response: “That’s great, but it won’t necessarily work for me (especially if it’s a fad diet). Besides, who made you the expert on my condition?”

    “Why don’t you go to shul more often?” Her response: “It’s too difficult for me to go, I am not in the habit of going–IS IT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS?!”

    I don’t think these well-meaning types realize it, but when they say these things it makes my wife depressed, and although I try to help her, it is difficult for her to be happy in the face of everything. She is not the type to make waves–she prefers to avoid/ignore the situation. If I had my way, I would blast these people (I said earlier I’m a pepperpot) or at least tell them why these comments are not helpful (often I reconsider, especially when the queen tells me that I should, and often she is right!). I really think some people need to be educated, but I wonder if it will ever really make a difference.

    I have forwarded this piece to my wife. 😉 I think she is a fan as well; she often asks me if I am becoming addicted and how you are. I think she will get a kick out of it. Seriously, I wish these people would think before they speak.

    • truth is, these rude comments have made me stop to think before i open my mouth.

      tell the queen that it is not a bad thing to be addicted to my blog – it’s edumacational!!

      BTW I love how devoted you are to your wife, your love for her comes through loud and clear.

      • Hadassah,

        Thanks for the kind words! I waited 45 years to get married (for the first time) and it was worth it!

        Looking forward to more in 2010!!!

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