Have flashcards printed and carry them with all the time. The message they need to contain, each on an individual card, is as follows.
- No I have not yet moved, but my fist might just move of its own volition very soon
- Indeed I am a skinny wench, jealous much? Or
- Indeed I am a skinny wench, when was the last time you saw your feet??
- Yes I am still married (disappointed not to have given you gossip to spread on the yenta-net. So sad too bad)
- No I am not pregnant, just bloated. That’s what a full stomach looks like on a skinny wench (see above)
- If we need advice on our family planning you will be the last person I call
- I really don’t want to know what goes on in your bedroom, so why do you think I would tell you about mine?
- Just because your husband needs help doesn’t mean everyone’s husband does. Mind you if I had to look at you in that way I would need a 24/7 sleeping pill.
- I am so sorry that you think that way. Must be hard to be so dumb
- Why are my nails so long? So I can scratch your eyes out
- How do I walk in these heels? Like most people, one foot in front of the other!
- The name is Mrs Milner. Not Mrs Whatever-your-name-is-now….
Disclaimer, I am not rude and mean by nature but sometimes stupid people really tick me off. They just open their mouths to change feet. I am usually gracious and smile politely and walk away, but sometimes I wish I wasn’t so nice.
Please feel free to add your own flashcards…