Daily Archives: January 6, 2010

I am not sure how I feel about this

This video is about a wife who files for a Get, and becomes an agunah (chained woman) because her ex will not show up at the Beit Din. It’s a very important issue, one that needs to be understood and discussed. But I think this “never ending story” leaves a lot to be desired. It’s facile and patronizing IMHO. There are a couple of other videos in the series that follow the same kind of format. What do you think?

Hat Tip Chaviva.

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Walking down memory Lane / Proposals

I was at the bakery this morning and bumped into Mrs K. I haven’t seen Mrs K since I was freshly divorced and blonde with pink highlights (oy vey). We had a long chat in the paper goods aisle, and I caught her up on my life. She was so thrilled for me when she heard I had got married. Asked about how the kids like the KoD. So I told her the truth – that they absolutely adore him. Then I just had to boast about how, before he proposed, he asked the boys privately if he could marry me. It had touched me so much that he did that, and showed how important the kids were to him. Then he got down on bended knee….. click for the Full Story.

So it got me thinking – how were you proposed to? How did you propose? If you are not yet married – how would you like to be proposed to? Did you do / do you want the whole bended knee thing? What would you have changed?

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Oh Hush Your Mouth!

I know that having a blog under my own name is a double edged sword. I know that including my email address on my blog is sometimes a blessing and sometimes a curse. It gives people the ability to moralize at me at will. My twitter page leads to my blog, so if someone wants to find me after seeing a tweet, they can.

I tweeted this morning – “I wish there was a way to get all my make up [on] in 30 seconds….I so cannot be bothered this morning BUT i look like drek warmed over.”

Cue email. Apparently this person has been following my life thru twitter and the blog. She (he?) seems to think that when I am not in the same city as my KoD it is wrong for me to wear make up and make myself look pretty. It’s acceptable for me to get ausgepitzed (tarted up) when he is around because he will benefit. Furthermore, the fact that I want to look nice when he isn’t around apparently is a reflection on my terrible morals – that I want other men to look at me. I guess I should be thankful I didn’t mention the stiletto heeled boots and short skirt I was planning to wear.

So let me get this straight. When our husbands are out of town we have to look awful. We only wear make up and nice clothing for our husbands. We don’t do it for ourselves. We don’t do it so that we can have good self esteem and feel positive about who we are. No. We belong to our husbands and have to bend to their will. Every breath we take is sanctioned by them. Wait, am I even allowed to breathe when KoD isn’t around, or do I have to ask him first? Hang on a sec, where the heck did I put my burka?!

Do me a lemon!!

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Moving Advice Needed

I have the guy from a local moving company coming over today to give me a quote on how much it would be to pack us up and move us to the States as soon as those darn visas come through. I told him I want three separate quotes. One for packing us up. One for moving all the boxes only. And One for moving boxes and the kids’ beds and a couple of other small pieces of furniture. Our house in NY is furnished so most of my furniture will be sold or given away before we move. I need to figure out what makes more financial sense – to pay for the kids’ furniture to be moved, or to buy them new in NY. I could sell some pieces here for a few bucks. I just need to figure out what’s cost effective and/or the better plan.

I could totally pack up this apartment myself. (Ha!) Well, my friends would all help me, as would the kids. It is an added expense having the movers do it. My thinking is this  -that I could either save money and do it myself, or (if it isn’t too expensive to have them pack me up) do this move as stress free as possible, allowing me to concentrate on supporting the kids though the move without being a humongous ball of nerves. As soon as we get to NY I have to get the kids ready for school and settled. If I am a wreck that will be so much harder.

Last time we moved, three years ago, I was a total mess. It was so stressful and hard and heartbreaking. I think I cried for 3 weeks straight. It was different circumstances, to be sure, but the stress was incredible. Even though this is a move we ALL want, and have been anticipating for months, there is still bound to be a lot of tension.

Help me out here, oh experienced folk.

ETA @RecoveryRabbi on Twitter just told me that when you move long distance the company won’t insure your stuff unless they pack it themselves. Anyone else hear of this?

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Beef Beer Stew

I got this recipe from my friend Aliza R who got it from Family First. I made it last night with rice and there was nothing left. The kids scarfed it down without hesitation. Definitely a new dish in my repertoire.


2 lb beef stew meat (I used veal)
black pepper
2 Tbsp. oil
2-3 large onions cut into wedges
1 1/2 c. light beer
1 bay leaf
2 Tbsp. Vinegar

2 Tbsp. Brown sugar

How to:

Season the meat with salt, black pepper and paprika.

In a braising pot, heat oil over a high flame. Sear meat on all sides. Remove the meat and set it aside.

Add the onion wedges and sauté for 10-12 min. Add the beef, beer, bay leaf, brown sugar and vinegar.

Lower flame to low, cook covered for 2 hours.

The last half hour leave the cover slightly open. Raise flame and cook uncovered for 10-15 min or until sauce is reduced.

Serve with steak fries or roasted potatoes. [I served with rice.]

This was really easy to make. Truth be told, you could just throw everything together in the crock pot in the morning, leave it on low, and you have the main dish ready when you get home from work.

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Wednesday’s Wacky Signs

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