Daily Archives: February 2, 2010

Another Fun Poll

You make yourself a snack of macaroni and cheese from the box (I know, additives…yuck). What do you add to it? I sometimes add tuna but I always add ketchup. Sometimes I add extra cheese. The kids eat it plain. What’s the minhag (custom) in your place? KoD hates the smell when I add ketchup. (And he is a total ketchup freak, go figure!!)

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We had occasion to be at the Nissan showroom on Friday and this sign caught our attention. I thought the idea of it was spot-on, but the spelling left a lot to be desired.

Soon after they took all the signs down, having realized their error. (KoD – did they notice on their own or did we point it out to them? I don’t remember). Don’t people proofread these days?

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When should parents stop giving?

A young couple gets married. They get a certain amount of money for wedding gifts, and some decent items with which to start off married life. Whose responsibility is it to pay the rent and their bills? Who should buy them their furniture and everything else they need?

In our community many of the young couples starting out are very young, and not in a financial position to support themselves at the start of their marriages. Now, in my mind, if you cannot support yourselves, don’t get married until you can, but that isn’t the way it seems to work. Parents and in-laws seem to bear the burden of supporting married children, sometimes more than 2 at a time, until such a time as the married couples can support themselves.

When I married my first husband, we had NOTHING! Neither side was wealthy and we didn’t expect anything from anyone. He was starting out in his career, I went to work, and we managed. My grandparents gave us a new washer and dryer, which was really an awesome gift but that was it. It took us a couple of years until we bought a dining room table – until then a folding table and chairs had to suffice. It took a few more years till we bought new sofas, and then a bedroom set. We bought everything ourselves. There were many times that making the rent was tough, but it didn’t occur to us to go to our parents for a hand-out.

It seems that these days, within the religious orthodox community, kids expect their parents to give them everything at the start of their marriages and to continue to help until they can financially stand on their own two feet. I don’t know how these parents are able to do that, especially after footing the bill for the typical lavish wedding. Why does a young newly married couple even need a fully furnished apartment from day one?

So here are my questions to you. When you got married what did your parents or in-laws give you? What did you expect? If they supported you, for how long did they do so, and did you feel uncomfortable accepting their help? Or did you feel it was your right? When your kids get married, what will you give them? Will you allow them to get married knowing you will have to support them, or make them wait till they can earn a decent living? What are your thoughts about the whole situation?

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It’s Curtains!

Shower curtains that is! As I mentioned yesterday we are sprucing up the house and taking care of stuff for the big testosterone influx (my boys) with the addition of a little of my own estrogen. (At least when the KoD’s kids come over there will be more pinkitude in the house…then we will be 6 males and 3 females…)

I really didn’t like the shower curtain in our master bathroom – it was old and ugly and just plain yuck. So we agreed to get a new one. On the left is the one I really wanted. Somehow, the KoD didn’t agree that it was appropriate for our bathroom. It comes with a whole matching set of accessories that are absolutely gorgeous. But I guess seeing as we share this bathroom, it is a little too girlie to foist on him. Just a little. We ended up getting a really lovely white hotel quality curtain that looks very decent and elegant. But it took us a long time to agree. I tend to go more towards the chintz and the pink and the flowers and the lacy things (go figure) and he leans towards the simple yet elegant. At least we finally agreed on the shower curtain.

I had wanted to pick us up some new bedding as well. I think we shall have to shelve that idea for now. Everything he liked I hated as I saw those patterns as too masculine and too plain. And the patterns that I liked, well, they were way too ……. different to what he wanted. What is wrong with maroon and gold, I ask you? And dust ruffles are totally necessary to keep the dust at bay, they are not just there for looks, right? After a while of looking and comparing I decided it just wouldn’t be right to be one of those couples that had a loud difference of opinion in Bed Bath and Beyond. It’s only bedding, right? Not worth the fight. What we have is functional, if not exactly what we both like. In time I am sure I will be able to find something that we can both be happy with (or I will wear him down, whichever comes first. Just kidding).

I guess that’s what happens when you have two opinionated people married to each other. We each have an opinion, we each respect the other person’s right to have an opinion but really wish that it gelled with our own!! Still, I am glad that so far it’s only bedding patterns that we disagree on.

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