(or alternatively, In Praise of Older Men)
I used to be one of those judgmental women, who would see a pretty young thing married to an older guy, and be sure she had married him for his money. I am here to apologize to all those pretty young things out there. I am so sorry I jumped to conclusions. Seriously. I know that there are gold diggers out there who are looking for older husbands who have money. I am sure there are younger men out there who marry older women for money too. However, I am sure many marry for love too. People get married for a variety of reasons. It isn’t for us to judge although with a May to December relationship many people do.
When the KoD first wrote to me after seeing my profile on the dating website, he immediately mentioned his age as being a factor in me probably not wanting to communicate further with him. Truthfully he did not fall into the age range of guys I would date. There was something about him, however, that kept me interested, despite his age. The more we got to know each other the more we realized how well matched we were. Once we met, that was it. I knew he was my beshert.
I am not a gold digger. I did not marry the KoD so he could keep me in the style to which I could become accustomed. He is the man that I love so deeply, who completes me in ways I never could have imagined. Simply – he is my soul mate. Yes, ok, he also happens to be seventeen years older than me. But it works. It really works.
Older men have seen a lot of the world. They have lived and experienced and learnt many of life’s lessons. What might be important to a younger man to make a big deal of, older men know the fight isn’t worth it. They have their priorities well and truly in order. I am not saying that some men my own age do not have the same kind of attitudes. I am sure there are some that do. I just never came across them in my dating life post-divorce. I found most of the men my age (mid thirties) that I dated were immature, and hoping to snag a twenty-five year old hottie. They only dated me to fill time till she showed up. Sadly most are still waiting.
Truth be told, I do not notice the age difference between us. Yes, there is the occasional frame of reference we won’t pick up on, but we are so on the same wavelength about most things. We have had to put up with a lot of comments, about how he’ll never be able to keep up with me or the kids but he is way more active than I am – once we move down to NY I am going to get myself to his gym and see if I can work up to bench pressing more than he can. (What is it now, KoD? 230 lbs?) We have a totally different taste in music – but that is no way an age thing. I think you will find many men are just not into 80s music. He’s very well versed in politics – initially I thought that was an age thing. Then I spent more time with more Americans, and realized it’s more of a cultural thing.
I am quite open about the fact that I always was drawn to older men. There is something that is alluring to me, maybe it’s a sense of protection and security that I didn’t have growing up? My own father left when I was little, so I am sure that plays into it too. But why psychoanalyze so much? If it works, it works. Thank God this marriage that we have, a year old today, is more than I ever could dream of it being. I have never been so cherished and so loved and so respected as I am by the KoD. I have never felt this secure in any relationship in my entire life.
So again, I apologize for jumping to conclusions when previously looking at couples comprised of older men and younger women. I won’t ever make that mistake again.
Older Men Rock! Love you, my KoD.
In the Pink 