Dear Mailman, Monsieur Le Facteur

You are this close to being fired. Your job is to bring me the mail I want, not stuff I don’t want. Fine, bring me bills. I’ll pay them. Sure. Like I have a choice?! Just bring me a letter from the US Consulate! Is that so freaking hard for you??

If you won’t do it I will find someone who will.

Stomp stomp stomp!!

Signed a very disgruntled customer who is beginning to hate her mailbox.

Nobody’s perfect

We have all said that, right? And it is true. There is no one in this world who is perfect. There are those that are close (KoD for example) but no one is 100% perfection.

I had to take to task one of the young ‘uns for not pulling his weight in French class. He hates French. They all do. But I have told them they need to always do their best. The teacher had called me and I promised to have a word with the lad. He told me that he tries and she is too strict. Then he looks me square in the eye and says “nobody’s perfect, Ima, you say that all the time”.  I explained to him that that is no excuse not to try your hardest. You can’t just give up and stop putting effort in just because you won’t score 100%.

He wasn’t very happy with me and went to take a shower. He came back to me later and promised to try harder and told me he would “try” not to use that excuse again.

It’s amazing the words the kids hear and throw back at us at the most interesting times. My kids seem to be experts at this. I have to say, I tried very hard not to laugh. It was very cute.

What phrases that you use have your kids thrown back in your face?

Dear KoD

When I told you I was feeling blah and blue you listened. You were so sweet and patient! You suggested I go back to my walking, that exercise would make me feel so much better and lift me out of the doldrums. You managed to extract some kind of an assurance from me that I would walk yesterday and as you know I don’t make promises I cannot keep.

Well, I did walk. And I have this to say to you – OW! I walked all the way to Walmart and back. Forty seven minutes each way. In the cold. And I did a little shopping there too. Shlepped stuff back in my backpack. I reckon with traipsing around the store as well, I walked 5 miles. Not too shabby, eh?

You know what is shabby, my KoD? My muscle tone. Why didn’t you warn me to take it slow, and not overdo it my first time walking in a long while? Why didn’t you remind me that if I indeed overdid it that my body would scream at me in agony and decide to never power walk or walk for exercise again? Why didn’t you tell me that my hips would burn as if I had been hula hooping for hours? Why didn’t you tell me that my almost 37 year old body would feel like it was being torn apart?

Yeah, I do have a brain, and I guess I could have (should have?) figured it all out on my own. But I do things to the extreme, that’s just my nature. So, dude, it’s all your fault that I ache today. :p

But you know what, after I bake my challahs today, I am going to go out for another walk. A shorter one, to be sure. Because, dear heart, much as I physically ache, emotionally I did feel better, I did feel lighter. I do feel as if I have more energy today.

So maybe, just maybe, you were….dare I say it…….RIGHT??

Thanks for the push, my love. I will be fighting fit in no time. Off to knead my dough.

QoH

Weddings

There is nothing like watching the processional of family members down the aisle, and awaiting that big moment when the bride makes her entrance. There is a reverent hush as all rise and the bride takes her first steps down that aisle, towards a life of bliss with the man of her dreams waiting for her at the other end of that aisle.

For me, when I go to a wedding, that’s what I look forward to. I couldn’t care less about the shmorg (reception) before the wedding (I hate eating standing up), I do enjoy the bedeken (when the groom comes to the bride and covers her face with the veil before the ceremony), but I love love love the actual wedding ceremony. It touches me, and I am invariably moved to tears. The dinner and dancing afterwards is fun, and it is always great to catch up with my friends, but the wedding is NEVER about the food for me.

In recent conversations with a couple of men that I know I was given to understand that they believe most of their male counterparts are interested mainly in the food (and drink) at the wedding, and do not really give a hoot about what dress the kallah (bride) is wearing, who walked down the aisle, or whether the bride and groom exchanged shy glances under the Chuppah (marriage canopy). What they care about, apparently, is what will be on their plate once the hoopla of the ceremony is over.

Are the male friends right? What do you enjoy about a wedding? What was the best wedding you ever attended and what made it so? How about your own wedding? What was the highlight?