There is nothing like watching the processional of family members down the aisle, and awaiting that big moment when the bride makes her entrance. There is a reverent hush as all rise and the bride takes her first steps down that aisle, towards a life of bliss with the man of her dreams waiting for her at the other end of that aisle.

For me, when I go to a wedding, that’s what I look forward to. I couldn’t care less about the shmorg (reception) before the wedding (I hate eating standing up), I do enjoy the bedeken (when the groom comes to the bride and covers her face with the veil before the ceremony), but I love love love the actual wedding ceremony. It touches me, and I am invariably moved to tears. The dinner and dancing afterwards is fun, and it is always great to catch up with my friends, but the wedding is NEVER about the food for me.

In recent conversations with a couple of men that I know I was given to understand that they believe most of their male counterparts are interested mainly in the food (and drink) at the wedding, and do not really give a hoot about what dress the kallah (bride) is wearing, who walked down the aisle, or whether the bride and groom exchanged shy glances under the Chuppah (marriage canopy). What they care about, apparently, is what will be on their plate once the hoopla of the ceremony is over.

Are the male friends right? What do you enjoy about a wedding? What was the best wedding you ever attended and what made it so? How about your own wedding? What was the highlight?

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6 responses to “Weddings

  1. Maybe the men say this because, if they are single, and u r a woman, they cannot repeat to you that they think more of joining together for the first time with their wife? That type of discussion, is not between non married men and woman, in the modern orthodox community, correct. So, rather than focus on women talk about they talk about food. Is that possible? Another question: in the modern orthodox, are first marrieds still virgins?

  2. I would say that alot of the focus of the men is on the TASTE of the food. (They don’t even care for what it looks like!) Hence the tradition of not bothering to put center pieces on the men’s tables.
    Also, the depending on the community you are with, you could be going to weddings nearly every night (and very possibly multiple weddings!) After a while, the chosson and Kallah all look the same.
    It is the women who notice the details put into the simcha.
    Men might notice more if it isa close family member, but otherwise, not really.
    Also, let’s not forget those who can’t make it to the chuppah at all and only show up for the dinner and dancing.

  3. and to answer your question- the best wedding I ever attended was my own. ( I know, I know- can you believe it?!) The highlights were many- R being hoisted onto his friend’s shoulders- twice! The fish Shtick that the Vogel girls prepared for me and drove all the way dow nto NY. R- taking over as the wedding singer near the end- our band was incredible. (people later asked for the ‘soundtrack’.) The coming together of two very different families and two incredible communities was really wonderful to be a part of. It was family packed and totally “leibedick”!
    My very special friend’s weddings come in a close second. I have a special highlight real from everyone of my friend’s big days.
    Yours and KoD’s was very special (especially when they hoisted Prince Squiggy into the air in his throne!)

  4. I also love seeing the bride, but at Russian Jewish weddings, it is all about the food, alcohol, and dance. Since many Russian weddings happen at Russian restaurants which keep bringing you food until you can’t eat any more and the DJ keeps pumping Russian and Israeli music, I look forward to this part tons. Not to mention, you gotta keep drinking vodka lechaim to the bride and groom, otherwise it just looks rude. 😉

    • Lady Lock and Load

      I was told that at Russian weddings they have to hire bodyguards because the men get drunk and get into brawls. Is that true?

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