Daily Archives: March 9, 2010

Birthday Question

Do you know exactly what time you were born? After conversations with family members today, it seems that not everyone does….so I am just curious if you know your time of birth, your weight at birth and all those stats.

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Children are important!!

I just got off the phone with my girlfriend. She was livid.

She had gone to the Chassidic section of town to pick up some danishes at Cheskie’s, an awesome bakery that piles on the pounds before you even enter the store. There was a bunch of women inside yammering away in Yiddish as if they had no cares in the world. She bought what she needed and left.

As she left the store she noticed a baby carriage parked outside with a 4 month old baby sleeping peacefully in it. She checked her watch. She got into her car, made a quick phone call or two, and yes, the baby was still there unattended while its mother was nowhere in sight. 10 minutes go by until the mother (we presume she was the mother) comes out of Cheskie’s and pushes the stroller away from the store. My friend didn’t want to leave until she saw the baby was safe, but she also didn’t want to go in to the store and confront the mother.

You leave a baby alone in a stroller outside a store for ten minutes??!! I would never do it not even for a minute, a second! When my kids were little I wouldn’t even leave them in the car while I ran in to pick up a carton of milk. How can someone just leave their baby there and trust no one will kidnap him / her, or do something equally dastardly? How can she not care about the baby’s safety?

Cheskie’s does not have room for strollers inside, that’s for sure, but she could have parked the stroller and left it outside, and carried the baby inside with her. She left the baby outside, in the cold, and didn’t come out to even check on it once. What kind of mentality is this? “God will watch my child while I am in the store gossiping with the other ladies” – well, trust in God is all well and good, but it’s your job, woman, to look after the child that HE blessed you with. How can you have such a cavalier attitude to this poor sweet innocent babe?? If something had happened to your child you would have been distraught.

My friend is a sweetheart. She doesn’t like to make waves and was worried only about the baby. Me, I am sure I would have waited till the mother came out and given her a huge chunk of my mind. Not that it would have got me anywhere. Maybe it would have made me feel better. What if the police would have been called? Is that child neglect or child endangerment?

Would YOU ever leave your infant or young child outside a store for ten minutes? Ever?

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Awesome Women’s Event in Brooklyn

Taliah Performing Arts Center, a women’s-only studio for acting and dance located in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn, is officially opening this spring.  Workshops for the spring semester will take place April 12 – July 1, with fall classes resuming October 2010.  To celebrate the launch, the opening night party will take place at the studio – a 3,800 square foot performer’s oasis – on Saturday, March 13th at 8:30 pm, and will include live music, improv and dance performances.

Performances by Taliah PAC faculty at the opening night launch party will include flamenco with Maya de Silva, improv with Elizabeth Fountain of Lipstick Jungle and Law & Order, music by Noa Lembersky of J. Viewz, belly dancing with Jehan and Sultana Taj, and Israeli dance with Sara Burnbaum.

This will be an evening filled with talent, enjoy the wine and chocolate bar (all kosher), and support women in the performing arts at Taliah Performing Arts Center located at 303 Bond Street, Brooklyn.  The women-only event will begin at 8:30pm and is free to the public.  Must be 21 and over to attend.  Gift bags will be provided for attendees; RSVP to info@taliahpac.org is strongly encouraged.

For more information, please visit http://www.taliahpac.org.

(I so wish I was able to attend. I would love to take some of the workshops…)

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Lunch Money

You give a kid 3 bucks to buy lunch at school. You find out that he has used one of those dollars to pay back a one dollar loan he got off one of his brothers. You call him on it, he says that the lunch money is the only money he gets (no allowance), and 2 dollars is more than enough to buy a good lunch.

Is he well within his rights to spend his lunch money as he sees fit, or should he have been upfront about needing 2 bucks for lunch and one buck to pay back a loan?

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WWYD – ex husband and religion

A reader – “Marsha” – asked me if I could post this so my readership could help her with some solutions. I know that if I were in the same shoes as this devoted Jewish mother, I would be so angry too. In fact I found myself livid after reading her letter.

So…I found out that my ex has been bringing our twelve year old son “Max” to CHURCH on the weekends that he has him.  Max has been afraid to say anything to him about not wanting to go because he was afraid his dad would get mad.  The ex let it slip last time he dropped Max off that he had gone to church that morning, with Max.  When I asked our son how many times he has gone to church he said, “A lot!”  He takes his Nintendo DS and plays games the whole time and doesn’t pay any attention to what is going on but it is still the principle of the whole thing.

Thing is, when I was married to him, he didn’t believe in G-d so religion didn’t matter to him but his new wife is religious and goes to church every Sunday – so understandably he wants to be with his new wife.  I just don’t agree that he needs to take Max along. This is a Jewish child, MY JEWISH CHILD!

I tried to talk to him about it, explaining that even though I feel it is important for Max to learn about other religions and to respect what others choose to believe, our beliefs prohibit us from going to church.  I asked that he respect my wishes as Max’s mom and his custodial parent.

I also acknowledged that he would like to be spending that time with his new wife which I totally understand but his response to this all was that if Max is with him he is going to church and that is that.

I AM FURIOUS!  I don’t have a clue what to do.  Our divorce decree is silent on religion since it wasn’t an issue for him since he didn’t believe in G-d back then. I let him have Max for an extra day on the weekends that he has him so he can spend more father-son bonding time – but I can cut that out and insist on picking up Max Saturday night. As per our original agreement.

I just don’t know what to do. I know Max needs to have time with his Dad, and I really don’t want to get in the way of that but there is no way I will stand idly by and allow him to be shlepped to church. Max doesn’t even want to go. He hates it there. But he’s a child who has been taught to respect his parents. This has been so confusing for him.

The above letter is from a Jewish mother, but it could easily be written by any parent of any religion whose ex spouse is deliberately acting against the express wishes of the custodial parent.

How do you suggest that Marsha handles this? What advice could you give her? How would you feel if you were in her shoes? How would you advise her to handle Max so that she doesn’t paint his father as a bad man for taking him to church, but in a way that Max understands that going to church is wrong for him as a Jewish boy?

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