Daily Archives: March 18, 2010

Shopping in the times of Blackberry

Continuation of yesterday’s clothes post. Thank you all for the suggestions on the blog and the emails of links. Thanks especially to KoD who hunted through pages of stuff online to find me something that he knew I would like. (I still want that pink Tahari suit….)

Empress CaresALot let me borrow her chariot today to run some errands. She also suggested a store where I might find suits in my size. Now, this store is called Winners, kind of similar to TJ Maxx I think, and I had struck out there yesterday. But apparently if I went to a different location there would be more selection there. This was my last ditch attempt to find anything.

Not ten minutes after walking into the store I came upon a rack of Calvin Klein skirt suits – all for $99. Every item is fully lined, good quality and they had plenty in my size. Score!! I piled an assortment of different suits into my arms and off to the changing rooms I went.

I must add here, that I have rather an eclectic taste in clothes, and can sometimes go overboard. The KoD is more conservative in his way of dressing (no pink for him), and prefers classic tailored styles on me. I don’t allow anyone to dictate what clothes I buy, other than the laws of modesty, but I don’t have to look at myself in my clothes – he does. But given that, I won’t buy anything I don’t like even if he likes it. I would, however, prefer him to like what he sees, than to look at me and think I took a bath in bubblegum paint. (I like the bright colours). Plus he has good taste – he married ME!!

So armed with my blackberry I entered the dressing rooms, and tried on each suit. I modeled it in front of the mirror and snapped pictures with my blackberry and bounced them over to the KoD for his opinion. It was fun – almost like I was shopping with him, and he was waiting outside the dressing room to say yea or nay. Luckily I agreed with the majority of his opinions – and I was decided on what to buy. I could not believe how well the suits fitted, the skirts were long enough (more or less) and they were $99 for a designer suit – how wrong can you go with that?

I wasn’t going to get shoes….but I couldn’t resist. These ones match my suit perfectly and they were the last pair left. I know they are rather OTT – but it’s a 5 inch heel and they will look so awesome with my new suit. (Oh yeah, umm, KoD? I bought new shoes too (only one pair)….and you will love them on me….). I must funkify the suit up a little, you know, add my own personal touch….

It’s good to know that I have something decent to wear for Pesach and afterwards. And that I don’t need to go clothes shopping for myself for a good long while….unless there is a sale….

No, wait!! What am I going to wear to @kvetchingeditor and @schnit’s wedding??

Selling the chametz – myth or mitzvah

Traditionally before Passover / Pesach we remove the leaven foods from our home, so that we can bring Pesach food in without fear of it being tainted by the leaven that is forbidden on this holiday. Most people I know will just put away all the regular not-kosher-for-Pesach food in sealed cabinets, and employ their Rabbi to sell the chametz. The rabbi sells the chametz for all the people in his community to a gentile that he knows, for a small sum which is returned right after the holiday. In order to facilitate this sale the Rabbi asks for location of all chametz items. Technically this gentile should be able to come into the houses of anyone who has sold him their leaven items and take what he wants, after all it does belong to him. However, this is all seen as something symbolic even though contractually binding.

Some people will finish up every crumb, every drop of chametz so they have nothing to sell. (A friend of mine is working his way diligently through his single malt collection). But still some of these people will sell their chametz pots and pans and appliances, just to be sure they do not own any chametz. Is this taking things a step too far, is this really necessary? Can a pot really be counted as chametz, if it is clean? I mean, we wouldn’t use it to cook for Pesach unless we had kashered it, but is it technically chametz or just a pot that was used to cook chametz in it?

After we have done the symbolic search for chametz (bedikat chametz) and burned that bread, we say the Kol Chamira “All leaven or anything leavened which is in my possession, which I have neither seen nor removed, and about which I am unaware, shall be considered nullified and ownerless as the dust of the earth.” – shouldn’t that nullify our need to sell any of the chametz in our possession? After we have said the Kol Chamira prayer – we don’t own it anymore…

I came up against an interesting situation this year. As you know the KoD and I maintain two homes (ok that makes us sound like Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous – so not!!) due to our current immigration issues that are soon to be over BH. I was told that I have to sell my chametz here in Montreal, but that the KoD not only has to sell his chametz in NY, but he has to also sell my chametz again, just so we are covered. Why? Because as his wife anything that I own apparently becomes his. Therefore my apartment is no longer mine, it belongs to the KoD and it is therefore his responsibility to sell my chametz. Even though he does not live here!!! As you can imagine I am not right pleased about this.

So I am asking you folks out there to tell me about selling your chametz, why you do it, why you feel it’s necessary, why don’t you do it, what are the halachas, what are the chumras etc.

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Mikvah Rant

Every mikvah* I have been to has a sign on the wall to tell husbands to wait down the street or around the corner, and not to park in front of the building when picking up or dropping off their wives out of respect for the other users.

Many men do not respect this – and will drop their wives off and pick them up right in front, where they can see who else is coming in or leaving. Not only is this wrong of the husband, but the wife needs to think of the other women and spare them embarrassment – she needs to tell her husband where to wait or park. I know many probably don’t even stop to think about it. But they should.

It makes my blood boil every time it happens.  A friend of mine told me the following: One time I was there a man parked his car in front and was waiting to pick up his wife.  I knocked on his window, he rolled it down, and I told him that this is not the supermarket over here and he is supposed to wait at the right side of the building, as per the rules of the facility. Apparently, my friend tells me, the guy did move. I cannot believe she had the backbone to approach him.

The times when I have gone and my husband has picked me up we made sure to meet up at the corner a block away. It’s just derech eretz, common decency. As women we go out of our way to keep quiet about when we visit the mikvah (we don’t even tell our closest friends when we go)  – these men make a mockery of our modesty and privacy.

*mikvah – ritual bath house

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