Small stuff? Pushover?

Here’s a question. Where do you draw the line between not sweating the small stuff and allowing people to walk all over you?

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10 responses to “Small stuff? Pushover?

  1. batya from NJ

    it depends on who it is that is taking advantage. friend versus acquaintance, family member or non family member, etc…in general, i’m of the opinion that a true friend doesn’t take advantage & step all over their supposed “friends”…i think more info is needed to adequately answer this question but i understand if you cannot provide that info.
    on a personal note, i have little tolerance for users & after awhile i try to keep my distance from the users among us…

  2. batya from NJ

    also, the line is different for different ppl. in other words, what one person considers being used may not be viewed in the same way by another b/c we are all different & the same situation affects different ppl in different ways. as i said i hate the feeling of being taken advantage of & i have another friend who also hates it but is afraid of ppl thinking poorly of her & feels guilty saying no & therefore resentfully does favors more often than she’d like to when asked by others. i will add that as her good friend, i try NOT to take advantage of her & instead i look for ways to do favors FOR her b/c she is a very kind person & i for one don’t want to step all over her…

  3. Hadass Eviatar

    When I start to feel resentful, it is time to stop.

  4. simple….make it a known fact from the get go (especially if you think a particular person is of the “walk all over you kind”) that under no circumstances you allow ANYONE to treat you in such a way. It’s when we don’t speak up that usually gets us into trouble!
    All of this of course, said in a way that you only have to say this once and you still keep the friendship open! Only now it’s more on your comfort level!!!!

  5. I tend to sweat over small stuff, and take the conequences that people don’t like me.

    But at least they will not walk over me…

  6. That’s the big advantage of being an introvert and not having too many friends. No one knows you well enough to start calling up for favours.

  7. A few things influence my choice. One is, how charitable am I feeling today? Sometimes I’m just more willing to cut some slack, or look for a hypothetical positive side to things.

    On the other hand, if the offense, albeit small, seems the kind of abuse that I think no one should receive, then I protest even if it wasn’t a big deal to me personally. I will often couch it in those terms: ‘I am not putting up with this. I don’t think anyone should be treated this way.’ Basically, if I somehow think this is real disrespect for my tzelem Elokim; then I protest. That isn’t only about me. It is about any person’s dignity; even the offender’s.

    BTW, any idea how I can contact Hadass Eviatar?

  8. Hadass Eviatar

    Hi, Mordechai, what can I do for you?

  9. Hadass Eviatar

    I remember! Were you the rabbi in Vancouver back before the Flood sometime???

  10. Hadass! Flood? Er, we are about the same age, give or take just a bit. I’ll answer your email. Flood….harumph…

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