Came across this quote about step parents – how true.

“When children have permission to care about all the adults in their lives, it adds richness and variety to their existence. Each adult has something unique to give a child – whether it is a joyful sense of humor, the talent to tell a good bedtime story, or the ability to share the child’s delight in visiting the zoo. The more adults contributing to the child’s life, the more opportunities the child has to experience diversity.”

Dr. Emily Visher, cofounder of the Stepfamily Association of America.

Never heard of this

I was reading one of my message boards  – a poster tells that she is pregnant, and has been informed that she is not to go to the zoo because a pregnant woman is not supposed to look at wild animals. Another replied that she also heard of this, but was told she was allowed to look only at the kosher animals.

Any truth to this? Any halachic sources?

A trip to the library…

Some funnies.

First was “get ready, we’re going to the library”. “What for?” – I don’t know, what do you go to the library for?

Then, in the car on the way to the library, I made up a Dr Seuss rhyme with something the oldest said – “I heard you in the house, I heard you like a mouse…..” The bigger three totally rolled their eyes (I could hear it and feel it but had my eyes on the road). The little one however piped up with “no compliment”. After gales and fits of laughter the boys pointed out to their little brother that the phrase was “no comment”. He said he knew that. Um hmm. Sure.

Then somehow the boys got onto the subject of communism. It was so interesting to hear the kids’ take on what it means. Apparently banana republics are a store and also countries in South America where there is a dictator who eats lots of bananas and tells everyone what to do; they all earn money and give it to the banana-eating dictator.

We left the library weighed down with books. We passed a mom and her two sons, similar ages to my lot. She stopped me and asked how old my little one was – the others ran ahead to the car and he had stayed with me. I told her he was 8. She turned to her son and said “see, Gilad, he is your age and look how many books he is taking out”. Gilad rolled his eyes and continued to drag his feet on the way into the library.

On the way home they discussed putting a Ferrari engine into our van, driving it on a racetrack and squirting apple juice out of the windows.

Just a regular hour in my life. GRIN.

No Dignity In Being Old.

KoD and I were talking about going to visit his mom in a few weeks, bli ayin ra she will be turning 90 soon. She is so sprightly, still there mentally – still lives in her own house. She lives close by to her older sister who is turning 95 this summer. Also, still with her own marbles highly polished, tfu tfu tfu.

I don’t know about you, but I used to have an aversion to old people. I remember as a child being dragged to the old age home in Cardiff, where we had several aged relatives. The smell there – if I close my eyes I can still smell it – was stale, unwashed bodies, and goodness knows what else. All the old people were sat in wheelchairs staring at the walls probably bored out of their minds. As a little girl, this terrified me. I never said anything though, because, well, I knew it was a mitzvah to visit them and cheer them up. I used to think there was no dignity in being old. As I grow older my mindset is beginning to change though.

In my younger days whenever possible I avoided visiting the elderly. It’s a weird hang up, I know, but it used to make me so uncomfortable. But one day, iy”H, we will all be old, the KoD and I will sit in our rocking chairs out on the porch watching the grandchildren / great-grandchildren playing out in the yard.

In Montreal my boys went often to the seniors’ residence just down the road from the school. They visited with the elderly, they sang for them, they davened with them, and had none of the same hang ups that I did. My eldest visited an elderly gentleman who lived in his Bubby’s seniors’ residence. He talked with him, spent just a few minutes with him every time he went to see his Bubby. When that gentleman passed away, he left some items for my son. His Haggadah, his tallit. My son, who was 12 at the time, was kind of shocked at this – he had been one of the last thoughts in this man’s mind before he died. I told him it was because he took just a few minutes to listen to a lonely old man – it meant the world to him.

The youth today think they know everything, but they should spend some time talking with the older generations – we can all learn something from those older than us. We need to show respect to those who have paved the way for us to have what have and live the way we do.

I am looking forward to being old yet dignified, to having little children come and visit me and the KoD, and ask us questions of what it was like when we were young. I pray to God that we keep our marbles and our health, and that growing old together will be a bracha that we are blessed with.