A girlfriend of mine has been looking for her beshert (true love) for a long time. Finally a few weeks ago she went on a date with a great guy, and things are going well for them. They see each other often and as time passes she seems more and more sure that he is the one.
This friend is religious, and very much believes in not touching any men that she is not married to. She is extremely attracted to her “boyfriend” and knows that he feels the same way about her. His religious background is different, he didn’t grow up religious and has had girlfriends before and been physical with them. So he knows what he is missing, and is finding it difficult to refrain from touching her. (edited to clarify – he is currently religious and intends to stay that way)
She really wants this to work, but finds the yearning for his touch is clouding her judgment and taking over the time she spends with him. She knows not to be alone with him, however she wonders how she can truly get to know him without spending time with him. But when they spend time together she is hyper aware of him, tenses up even, and knows if she didn’t stop him, they would indeed have a physical relationship. She doesn’t want to be the one that is always saying STOP, or don’t touch me – that could totally lead to resentment on his part.
This is one of the reasons that religious people get married so quick – so that these temptations are not around for long, and the physical side can be consummated according to the law of Moses. But she wants to be sure about him before jumping into marriage.
What advice could you give her to help her through this time without compromising her principles?