I had a couple of long phone calls this morning, with two very good friends. Friends who have more experience than me in various areas of life.
Two things I gleaned (which is stuff I knew, but sometimes you need to have the message hammered home) – you have to pick your battles – with kids and spouses, and that nagging teens is not necessarily the way to go.
I had happened to mention that I still remind my teens to brush their teeth, or pick up their room, or take a shower if they smell, or even if they don’t. I was told that this kind of nagging can foster a deep sense of resentment. The teen has to learn to do all these things themselves. If he doesn’t brush his teeth who is it hurting? If he doesn’t shower, he is the one that smells – but then I can’t hug him if he is stinky…. 😦 . If you constantly remind him to do these things, you are hurting your relationship with him. Possibly. Part of me feels it is my job as Ima to remind them to take a shower and brush teeth and put their dirty clothes in the laundry.
I was curious – so I am asking my readers – do you nag your teens to take care of basic personal hygiene? Why or why not? At what age do you just hope that they have absorbed your message and leave them be? What do you wish you hadn’t been nagged about as a teenager? Do you ever know if your message has got through?
(PS Thanks ladies, you know who you are, for your insight and your bravery in talking straight to me and not soft soaping.)