Daily Archives: October 6, 2010

Ogres are not necessarily green

My 14 year old brought home a poem by W H Auden. It’s this one, about an Ogre. We discussed the poem, what does it mean, what do you think the poet’s point was etc.

Kiddo mentions that strangely enough there is no mention of “donkey” in this poem. Sigh. Does Hollywood have to get everywhere? And no, I will not read the poem in a Scottish brogue, thank you very much!

For the bajillionth time, don’t believe everything you see on TV. Ogres are not necessarily green, they don’t all live in swamps, they don’t all have a best buddy called Donkey, and they don’t all sound like a Scot!! According to W H Auden, they cannot even speak clearly. (But maybe that was a nod to Shrek’s accent? Hmm…)

Parents – help me out

I am breaking my head this afternoon writing out a resume for my job search. I have decided to do a resume that lists my skills before my (lack of) work experience. That way the potential employer can see what I can do now as opposed to what I did way back before I had children.

If you had to write a resume based on your parenting skills – what would you include?

For example: Experienced in conflict resolution… Have the ability to work both independently, or as part of a team to produce quality bottom-line results…etc

New relationship – advice for a friend

A twitter buddy of mine tweeted this today, and I figured that there are plenty of you in my diverse readership that could help her out.

Somebody who has kids, is divorced, and their ex is in a r’ship help me figure out how to deal with my kid already loving someone else.

What I told this friend was to be happy that the child has another person in her life to show her love and affection. That just because this beautiful little girl loves a new person, does not mean in any way, shape or form, that her love for either parent is diminished.

My kids have two parents, me and their dad. We are both remarried – they now have a step-father and a step-mother. And additional aunts and uncles and grandparents. So many more people to love them and care about them.  How can that be a bad thing?

When your ex moves on before you do it is very hard. It hurts. It burns. Especially if maybe you are not ready for it and have still not dealt with the fall out from the separation. Add children into the mix and there are a lot of worries and thoughts. Will the new partner be good to my children? Will they be supportive of my relationship with my kids? These are good questions to ask, and time will tell.

The one thing I must stress, to my friend, and to all parents – the children’s needs always must come first. You have to prioritize them. It is the only way for the children to grow up without extra trauma from the divorce – if both parents put the kids first, and are on the same page when it comes to raising the children they had together. Do not EVER use the children to fight your battles with your ex for you. Do not EVER use the children as pawns to get back at your ex or punish him / her in some way. This will only end up hurting the children more than anyone else.

If you love your child, dear twitter buddy, as I know you do, you will be happy for her that she has so many people to love. When she chatters on about the new partner, just listen. It will hurt at first, but the new partner is a fact of life that you have to accept. For your own sake as well as your child’s.

If any of my readers have some more words of advice, please weigh in.

Kids

It’s unbelievable how one’s child can have one run the gamut of emotions from pure and utter unconditional love and warm fuzziness, to absolute abject disappointment, and back again, within the space of 5 minutes.

I guess if one didn’t care about one’s child, one wouldn’t feel anything, positive or negative….

One of the kids couldn’t find his school trousers today. Apparently it was my fault for doing his laundry and not giving them back to him. The nerve!! Sigh. The kid was panicked about time – I did tell him to prepare his clothes last night, but he didn’t, so now this was MY problem. He started yelling and being upset, and when kids are upset they don’t necessarily make sense and are not the most rational of people. I am not a morning person. Even with coffee. And I was busy packing lunches for the kids and didn’t need this kind of aggravation. Of course his trousers were in his closet (hiding), but he couldn’t see them because *I* put them in the wrong place. (They put away their own laundry. This is one of the reasons why, so they don’t blame me when they can’t find anything. Apparently, that doesn’t work).

I was upset at the way he talked to me, and he did apologize half heartedly on his way out the door to school. As he was leaving I chased after him with the hot chocolate I made just the way he likes it. Not too hot, so that he can finish it quickly and not be worried about spilling on the school bus.

If grown people treated us the way our kids do sometimes, they would be out of our life in a second. We wouldn’t put up with it, not for a second. But because they are our children, we know that they will eventually learn, and we instantly forgive them. Well, I know I do, but apparently I am a soft touch.

Sometimes I cringe at what I must have put my mother through.

It’s Fall!

Fall / autumn has raised its pretty head – I love the leaves changing colour and the crispness in the air. I love that I am not boiling hot and uncomfortable. However, I am now freezing and I don’t like that either.

The KoD and I actually talked last night, briefly, about when we were going to turn on the heat. Just a week ago we had the a/c on as it was so hot over Sukkot. I just checked the thermostat and it is a chilly 65 degrees in the house.

I am wearing my jammies and a robe, and have a soft wrap over my shoulders. Even with fluffy socks on my feet they feel like ice blocks. I should be used to this. Montreal gets much colder. But, the last 3 years we were living in an apartment where they turned the heat on right at the beginning of October, whether it was needed or not.

What temperature do you wait for before you turn on the heat? And at what temperature do you keep the house?

Wednesday’s Wacky Signs