Daily Archives: November 1, 2010

Heinous or Harmless – Using Ex’s Name by Mistake

I am terrible with names. I only have four kids, but I can hardly ever get their names right, even when they are standing right there in front of me. When you have been married for umpteen years, you get used to using your spouse’s name, often, mostly by reflex.

I have heard recently from a few of my friends who have been divorced and remarried that they mistakenly have called their new spouse by their old spouse’s name. Or their new spouse has called them by their ex’s name.

I am fortunate that although there have been a couple of close calls, I have never called the KoD by the ex’s name. I am sure it could happen on either side, but so long as it’s really just a slip of the tongue and not in an intimate situation, I think it’s harmless.

Has this happened to you? How did you react? Is it heinous? Or harmless?

90 years young!

After a very sad couple of days, we had a very happy occasion to celebrate. KoD’s mom turned 90 recently and we had a party yesterday in her honour. It was truly awesome to be part of this joyous occasion – especially considering the bad news we had last week. I think it very much helped the boys with a lesson on perspective, and on appreciating what you have. I had given the boys the choice to attend, as I hadn’t want to minimize their grief mere days after their paternal grandmother died – but they chose to go, to celebrate with family, and to be with people who love them.

My sister-in-law cooked for weeks – and the food was outstanding, as usual. When I grow up I want to be able to cook just like her. I will be emailing her for all her recipes. Yum yum.

We met a lot of family members that we had not met before, and it was truly wonderful to see the great family my KoD hails from. His mom was surrounded last night by her sister (95 years young k”h), sons, daughters-in-law, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, nieces and nephews, and friends. What a legacy. What a bracha (blessing)! The love that was in that room was unquantifiable. My MIL is a one of a kind!

Life is for the living, life is to be celebrated, and we certainly celebrated a special lady yesterday.

It was especially thrilling to me to see how her face lit up on seeing my boys – and her pride in them. Just goes to show, you don’t need to be related by blood to love someone unconditionally.

Happy Birthday Ma! We love you!