Dear Smoke Detector

I used to value you. Your presence, backed up with a battery that works and is changed regularly, helped me know that my family is safe. I trusted that you would let me know if G-d forbid there is smoke or a fire.

What I don’t understand is why you had to start singing right above my head as I was working this lunchtime. And so loudly! The nerve! There was no smoke, your battery wasn’t wearing down – maybe you were just having a sensitive moment? I do kind of understand, it IS Monday after all.

The KoD came down to see what was going on and he detached you from the ceiling, and carried you out into the fresh air in the garage so you could breathe in some decent air not polluted by our heating system. He’s a kind man, is our KoD!

Silence reigned for, ooh, about half an hour. Then I heard you yell from the garage – FIRE FIRE FIRE beep beep beep FIRE beep beep FIRE. Opened the garage door, and nope, no fire.

The KoD has now taken you away. I am sure he will treat you well – I wanted to grab my pink-handled hammer and smash your brains out but somehow, I refrained.

I just hope you get over your hypersensitivity and chill out a little bit so I can get some work done around here….


The woman whose ears are still ringing….


5 responses to “Dear Smoke Detector

  1. Look at the positive side. You should be happy this didn’t happen at 2:30 am in the morning.

  2. Smoke alarms have a tendency to go off at the most inopportune times but TG for false alarms even though they are annoying!

  3. Are you sure it’s just a smoke detector and not also a CO detector? The heating system could be emitting carbon monoxide which can make you sleepy, feel flu-y and even kill you at high enough concentrations. It’s nothing to fool around with.

  4. When it gets cold here, some of our smoke alarms beep periodically. One is doing it right as I type. I think they are asking for new batteries. But they don’t really need them since they are connected to the AC power of our home (the batteries are just used for backup).

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