Daily Archives: December 27, 2010

No Kiddush between 6pm and 7pm

Again, thanks to the mommy websites for bringing this question to my attention. #JewCrew – is there an inyan against making Kiddush on Friday night between 6 and 7 pm? Or 5.52pm and 6.52pm , or is it between 6.52pm and 7.52pm? If there is such an inyan, why, where did it originate, and how come I never heard of this before, having been frum my whole life??!!

Barmitzvah Line – do not cross!

I am totally excited to be planning this barmitzvah, after all, I have done two already, so this should be a breeze, right? I have spent the last hour or so updating the guest list spreadsheet that I made right after we were done with the last barmitzvah 15 months ago. Adding people. Removing people. Question-marking people.

There are always people who are upset not to have been included. But the thing is you cannot invite everyone. There is a set budget and limited space –  plus other variables – the hosts have to draw the line somewhere.

There were a few people that were upset not to have been included in our wedding – we were less than 40 people sitting down to dinner, and it was the perfect size for us. We wanted something small and intimate that was about the KoD and me. We drew the line where we felt it was necessary and didn’t make exceptions. Feelings were hurt, unfortunately, and there are a couple of people who don’t talk to me any more since then. There are those who weren’t included and were just happy for us and didn’t care that they hadn’t been invited.

This barmitzvah is coming up and there are four families to consider now. Mine, KoD’s, my Ex’s and Mrs Ex’s. Just family alone – that’s a lot of people. Granted not everyone will come, but that’s still a sizable number. Then there are those people we are close with, and then there are those that we are not so close with but they invited us to their simcha, so we should invite them to ours. If you are not careful, the list can get out of hand.

What gives me pause is deciding where to draw the line this time. We are new in our community and don’t want to ruffle any feathers, but we do have to keep the budget in mind, and more importantly we want to ensure that the day is about the barmitzvah boy, not about who was invited and who wasn’t.

I wish it weren’t so complicated.

So – when you made your simchas where did you decide to draw the line? Was there fall out? How did you deal with it?

Let it snow!

We were hit with about 15 inches of snow since lunchtime yesterday. The kids are off for a snow day and enjoying it – they have been outside building various snow forts. I went outside for a bit, picked up a shovel and was told by one of my sons that seeing as I am older than 35 I am not supposed to be shoveling. I wasn’t sure how to take that – is he being a gentleman because I am old, because I am his mother, because I am decrepit, or what??!! But then he redeemed himself. He told me that I should be making snow angels – because I am an angel myself.

So this is a pic of me in the snow!

Snow Angel