Life goes by so quickly – today I had so much on my to-do list, and even though I did cross some things off, it is still a long list. Sometimes that list is the driving force of our everyday life.
Yesterday I had a moment. One of those moments when everything just faded into the background, leaving the focus on one subject. That subject happened to be my son, Squiggy, the 14 year old.
We were eating supper and the boys were having their usual military discussion – last night it was a debate whether they should join the Marines or the Navy Seals. It got way too technical for me.
Anyhow, their voices faded out and I took a good look at Squiggy and I noticed how he’d matured and grown, how his face had lost its puppy fat, and how much like a young man he looks – that little boy pinchable-cheeked face was there no more. How did that happen overnight? Lenny has been grown up almost since he was born, and once he started shaving, well, it hit me that he was no longer a little kid. But Squiggy – how did that happen so fast? I wasn’t ready!
I drank him in, memorizing every facet of his face, every dimple, every eyelash. He turned to look at me, and my heart just skipped a beat. In that look I saw my brothers – this child is a SABO through and through. In that glance I saw the man he is becoming and it filled me with joy. He is growing up and finding his own way in the world, and won’t need me quite as much as he used to – and that makes me proud and sad and every emotion in between.
Their conversation continued and I absorbed every detail of my boys, of all them. How Lenny has such a deep man’s voice already, and towers over everyone, how he continues to be my protector even though it isn’t necessary. HockeyFan is poised on the cusp of teenagerhood and is all about his barmitzvah these days. He cannot wait to put on tefillin – six weeks!! ChatterBox, my baby, gets me lost in his big blue eyes daily. I am a marshmallow in his hands and darn it, he knows it!
These boys are growing, these children are maturing and learning and becoming their own people. I don’t want to miss any more moments, any more changes however subtle they are. I want to be present in every second.
So take a moment to truly look at your loved ones, really see them, and let it warm your heart. Ignore the blackberry and the iPhone, put away the laptop, and just spend some time together. It’s worth it, it really is.