I have many divorced friends and acquaintances, and readers, and I am constantly shocked that are those parents who do not put their children first. Maybe because I am a mama bear, but it is so hard for me to understand how mothers / fathers can ignore the best interests of the kids, in order to punish or hurt their ex. How they use their kids as pawns to exact their revenge.
Where does that get anyone? It just piles more stress on the kids – and makes them even more conflicted about who they are “allowed” to love.
A child, any child, has the right to be able to love both parents equally without prejudice or judgment. No adult has the right to tell a child not to love the other parent. That the other parent is evil or bad. If you tell a child that the donor of half of their genetic material is inferior – what does that tell a child about himself / herself? That they are no good?
Parents – please, put your children first. Always. It shouldn’t even be a discussion.