So the other day I was at the gym working out in the women-only work out room (it was men’s hours for the large work out space) and I saw a woman using one of the machines. It was the lateral pull down one. She was using it completely wrong and I was worried she was going to hurt herself specifically her back. I was ellipticalling away and as I worked out I pondered the best way to approach this woman.
I ended up saying nothing as she left before I had figured out what to say. But what could I have said that wouldn’t have ruffled her feathers? I could have showed her how to use it correctly – but who the heck am I to give advice? I am no trainer, I am just a scrawny sweaty wench who should mind her own business….
What would you have done? What should I have done? What should be done in the future?
After all, this is the third son of mine to be barmitzvahed, right? Baruch Hashem. But it doesn’t get easier. I sat in my living room yesterday watching the HockeyFan put on his tefillin and take them off time after time, his father showing him how, instructing him the right way to wrap. I cried. Copious tears. I had to leave the room. Twice. It should be no big deal. But it is.
I love my boys so much, and they are growing up so fast. These milestones just drive the point home. Within a couple of months he will have become 13, he will have had his barmitzvah Shabbat, and it will be on to the next thing, the next birthday, the next event. But I don’t want to miss a moment. He is still a child. My child. And I have been blessed to watch him grow up in front of my eyes.
I still cannot read this piece without tearing up. These feelings still hold strong. A Binding Mitzvah – a Mother’s View.
Those of you who know me well, know that I am organized to the nth degree. I hate surprises, and I hate last minute rushes to get things done. I arrive at events on time, and LATE does not even enter into my vocabulary. I like to know when things are happening way ahead of schedule. I am a planner. Some call this being a control freak. It isn’t really control freakitude – just being able to handle what I need to when I need to.
Even the most scheduled and organized of us have friends or family members who are the total antithesis of this. They are last minute, late, hold everybody up type of people. You know, the people that you tell them the event starts at 8 when it starts at 9 just so that they might be there by 10.
How does one deal with this? I have learned that it isn’t personal, that some people just cannot respect deadlines or times or other people’s limits. It is just not in them. They don’t try to be disrespectful of your plans, but they are. How does one make allowances without getting frustrated? Is there any hope to change their behaviour? Is accepting them as they are giving them permission to disrespect you?