Monthly Archives: January 2011

Gym Update (Ow Ow Ow)

Well, it feels like we joined the gym months ago, but it was three weeks ago? Maybe four? The KoD and I have worked out a routine of when we go and most of the time we have gone together. I work till 2pm most days, and we are at the gym by 2.30, home by 4 to be there to welcome the kids home after their long day at school.

Last week the KoD had to go on his own once or twice because I was sick, and the week before I went alone on Sunday and he stayed with the kids. I much prefer working out with him because even though he is a sadistic trainer, he knows what he is doing.

Today he gave me one heck of a workout. I have been home almost an hour and my muscles are still oscillating. He introduced me to a new apparatus – the stomach cruncher. The word torture was invented for this machine. My abdominal muscles are screaming…and I only did 3 sets of 5 reps…at 10 lbs!!

So the KoD has to show off and do 3 sets of 10 reps at 40 lbs. He had to tease me that I was being shown up by a guy so much older than me. (How old is he again? 76?) I said to him, he can only even begin to think of showing me up, when he is able to carry a baby in his belly for 9 months and then give birth and do that FOUR times. THEN we can talk about who is showing who up. Yeah, old man, shove that in yer pipe and smoke it!!

Of course the more I spit and growl, the more I kvetch and complain, the more the KoD laughs at me. He thinks I am sooo funny the way I call him evil and mean – but come on folks, saying “one more rep” does not mean you can get away with saying that a hundred times.

He mentioned today that someone should film our work outs because I am so darn cute when I hiss and gripe. He giggles so much when I give him the stink eye. Must be love…

I have to say though, I feel good. I really do. I was having some stomach issues for a while, and it seems that working out has really eased the pains I was having. Still have to be careful about my diet and all, but physically I feel so much better. BH. That, plus I am getting some great definition in my arms, legs and stomach. Everything just feels so much tighter despite the fact that right now it feels as if someone twanged my muscles really hard.

I think I have a new addiction, folks, but this is a healthy one 🙂 .

Frum Females needed for project!!

A source sent me the following from a neighbourhood email list in Jerusalem. At first read you think you know what they are asking for. But read it again knowing the website linked to doesn’t exist, the woman who signed the posting (I abbreviated the name just in case) doesn’t exist. Now the email address that enabled the poster to post had to have been approved by the list manager.

Discretion Advised.

We are a Religious Jewish Feminist group doing an  Romanesque art project.

We are looking for:

Dati/Orthodox or traditional married and single women to take part as undressed models in various stages of nudity.

privacy is guaranteed. The pictures will appear in an exhibition we
will  be holding for women only. Faces will not be shown and pictures
will never be digitized.

Sliding pay scale per hour, Volunteers most appreciated.

For further information please contact me.

A. Ch.
Religious Jewish Feminist Alliance of Israel

What kind of service is being offered or sought here?? Clever, eh? But oh so wrong!

Women – be warned. If you see anything like this, it is a scam. DO NOT REPLY TO IT!

WWYD – Motorbike and Kids

I received this email yesterday, and I am horrified.

I live on a smallish Yishuv ~ 150 families. I went to pick my son up from pre-school last week and saw a neighbor who just picked up his two small kids – a 4 year old girl and a 1.5 year old boy. He put on his helmet, got onto his motor-cycle and propped the 4 year old behind him and put the 1.5 year old between his knees. Neither child had a helmet and both were hanging on to him as he drove off. I was horrified. I really don’t believe in criticizing parents and do believe that un-wanted advice is a sign of hostility. But the sight of the two toddlers balanced precariously on the motor cycle was just so horrible.


Thanks AS – this is an excellent WWYD scenario. Dear Reader, if you had been in AS’s shoes, what would you have done?

Wednesday’s Wacky Signs

How Cheesy!

One of my friends is on vacation in Greece and sent me this pic. I didn’t know we were in the dairy business. Does anyone know exactly what kind of product this MILNER is?

(Hat Tip CFK)

Now this ticks me off

I understand that in NY they are not equipped to deal with “inclement weather” and that they close school when there is a lot of snow. I don’t agree with it but I understand.

Today the roads are extremely icy and dangerous. Icy roads are so different that a large snowfall. First we were told there was a two hour delay ie schools would open two hours later, then now I have heard that the school district has cancelled transportation.

One of the schools that called me this morning (7 phone calls since 6 am) is possibly having optional school for those that can get there. Um what? The roads are too dangerous for the bus drivers to drive our precious cargo to school, but it would be ok for us to schlep out in our cars and vans on icy treacherous roads to take the kids to optional classes? Is that not risking lives?

….and another school just called. “Even though there is no busing there is school. Please make sure you drive safely. We understand, however, if you choose not to drive your son to school in these conditions”.

I am not risking my kids’ lives driving on icy roads and I would not give that tremendous responsibility to other car pool parents to drive my kids to school.

I could have slept another few hours had this decision been made last night. Instead the phone has been going non stop. The kids will be rejoicing. Those of us who work from home, these snow days have seriously cut into our productivity….

Pass the coffee…..

Gym Etiquette

So the other day I was at the gym working out in the women-only work out room (it was men’s hours for the large work out space) and I saw a woman using one of the machines. It was the lateral pull down one. She was using it completely wrong and I was worried she was going to hurt herself specifically her back. I was ellipticalling away and as I worked out I pondered the best way to approach this woman.

I ended up saying nothing as she left before I had figured out what to say. But what could I have said that wouldn’t have ruffled her feathers? I could have showed her how to use it correctly – but who the heck am I to give advice? I am no trainer, I am just a scrawny sweaty wench who should mind her own business….

What would you have done? What should I have done? What should be done in the future?

You would think it would get easier.

After all, this is the third son of mine to be barmitzvahed, right? Baruch Hashem. But it doesn’t get easier. I sat in my living room yesterday watching the HockeyFan put on his tefillin and take them off time after time, his father showing him how, instructing him the right way to wrap. I cried. Copious tears. I had to leave the room. Twice. It should be no big deal. But it is.

I love my boys so much, and they are growing up so fast. These milestones just drive the point home. Within a couple of months he will have become 13, he will have had his barmitzvah Shabbat, and it will be on to the next thing, the next birthday, the next event. But I don’t want to miss a moment. He is still a child. My child. And I have been blessed to watch him grow up in front of my eyes.

I still cannot read this piece without tearing up. These feelings still hold strong.  A Binding Mitzvah – a Mother’s View.


Those of you who know me well, know that I am organized to the nth degree. I hate surprises, and I hate last minute rushes to get things done. I arrive at events on time, and LATE does not even enter into my vocabulary. I like to know when things are happening way ahead of schedule. I am a planner. Some call this being a control freak. It isn’t really control freakitude – just being able to handle what I need to when I need to.

Even the most scheduled and organized of us have friends or family members who are the total antithesis of this. They are last minute, late, hold everybody up type of people. You know, the people that you tell them the event starts at 8 when it starts at 9 just so that they might be there by 10.

How does one deal with this? I have learned that it isn’t personal, that some people just cannot respect deadlines or times or other people’s limits. It is just not in them. They don’t try to be disrespectful of your plans, but they are. How does one make allowances without getting frustrated? Is there any hope to change their behaviour? Is accepting them as they are giving them permission to disrespect you?

Children come first

I have many divorced friends and acquaintances, and readers, and I am constantly shocked that are those parents who do not put their children first. Maybe because I am a mama bear, but it is so hard for me to understand how mothers / fathers can ignore the best interests of the kids, in order to punish or hurt their ex. How they use their kids as pawns to exact their revenge.

Where does that get anyone? It just piles more stress on the kids – and makes them even more conflicted about who they are “allowed” to love.

A child, any child, has the right to be able to love both parents equally without prejudice or judgment. No adult has the right to tell a child not to love the other parent. That the other parent is evil or bad. If you tell a child that the donor of half of their genetic material is inferior – what does that tell a child about himself / herself? That they are no good?

Parents – please, put your children first. Always. It shouldn’t even be a discussion.