Daily Archives: April 12, 2011

Rabbis Sound Alarm Over Eating Disorders

The NY Times ran an article yesterday “Rabbis Sound Alarm Over Eating Disorders” that brings to light the suffering of many young women in the Orthodox world that are suffering from eating disorders. This paragraph jumped out at me.

“There are a lot of mixed messages,” said a 27-year-old woman from a strict Orthodox community in Brooklyn, who once carried less than 100 pounds on her 5-foot-6 frame. “My grandmother would see me and say, ‘You look so good, you’re so skinny — come eat, eat.’ ”

Our world revolves so much around food and celebratory holiday and Shabbat meals, but unfortunately there is a lot of focus put on the girls to be skinny. One of my Boro Park charedi cousins once told me “you can never be too rich or too skinny” and she totally believed it.

I find it interesting though, that this obsession with being thin does not seem to apply to the boys. Very few mothers of girls are asking the boy’s waist size or weight when they are discussing a shidduch.

Size shouldn’t be a consideration in shidduchim – health is more important. Let me tell you something, being pregnant takes a lot out of a healthy body – if the body is starved of nutrients beforehand in order to maintain that size 2 that got a girl married – that will only lead to problems in the pregnancy and perhaps long term.

We need to focus on health, and how to maintain good eating and exercise habits – but how are we going to get this message through to those who need to hear it? How are we going to help those already suffering from eating disorders as a result of the peer pressure? How do we remove the shame and stigma associated with mental illness in our communities? How can we teach self-acceptance to those who are unwilling to learn?

Picture Perfect

So we got the proofs for the barmitzvah pictures yesterday and they are eleventeen-hundred shades of gorgeous. Our photographer (www.shmuelheinemannphoto.com) did a stellar job. Our memories of that special weekend live on in our hearts, but it is so lovely to see them captured in the pages of our album – well they will be in an album as soon as the stores open and I can go and buy one. Can’t have the kids’ mucky fingerprints all over them…

I couldn’t wait to get the proofs and in the ten hours since we got them I have spent a lot of time looking them over, examining them, trying to figure out which to enlarge, which to frame to grace our currently empty walls.

The kids don’t really seem interested in seeing them – it’s kind of like – uh, we were there? Our memories work fine – who cares about photos? Whatever (insert major eye roll here).

There was one exception. Little prince ChatterBox expressed no interest in seeing the pictures but did ask if he looked cute in all of them.

This seems to be a male thing – I remember when we got our wedding photos I was so excited to show them to the KoD – and got a “very nice” in return. He was there, what are the photos going to show that he won’t remember?!!

Mars vs Venus?