Category Archives: informational

and love, true love………..

please humour me……i am doing research for a piece i am writing – so i would love your opinions. does true love, true romantic love,  exist, or is it only stuff that movies are full of? any stories or anecdotes will be welcome. what does love mean to you? does your religion influence you in your perception? i cannot wait to read what you have to say. Please email me at

Haveil Havalim #185 – writes like she talks!

Latest Haveil Havalim is up, click here to go see it. “Writes like she talks” did a phenomenal job! Yasher Koach and thanks for the shout out!!

Does your era define you?

Took this off Treppenwitz, and had so much fun walking down memory lane in my mini skirt and gogo boots.

Year you were born: 1973 (shhh its a secret lol)

Generation: I have no idea what we are called.

One or more national leaders that year: Ferdinand Marcos (Phillipines), Richard Nixon (USA), Edward Heath (UK)

Other big names of the day: Brezhnev, Kissinger,

News headlines from that year: offensive action in Vietnam suspended, US Supreme court overturns ban on abortion (Roe vs Wade), Tottenham Hotspurs wins the FLC at wembley (this is a historical moment), London Bridge is opened by her Majesty the Queen, Lexis Nexis starts, WTC in NYC is opened, Sears Tower in Chicago is finished, Deep Throat retires from FBI, DEA is founded, movie American Graffiti is released, Yom Kippur war, Princess Ann married a commoner, homosexuality is removed from the DSM-II, OJ Simpson first to rush 2000 yards (that’s good, right?)

Books from the crib:  all the Noddy books and anything else by Enid Blyton. (just to note, not that I read it then, but Erica Jong’s Fear of Flying was published this year)

Cutting-edge technological of that era: Skylab was launched – first ever spacestation, Barcodes launched, Optical Fibers, Intel chip.

Not-so-cutting-edge technology of the era: 8 tracks – remember those?

Omni-present then… but missing in action now:  Elvis Presley, Charlie perfume, rotary dial phones, funky psychedelic pants (shudder), platform shoes, glam rock clothes a la Gary Glitter (more shuddering), chopper bikes,

Odd things in your baby albums:  men with huge hair and shoes with heels and lots of facial hair esp sideburns, tiny cars, crazy funky clothing on the grown ups (what were they thinking?!!), big huge eyeglasses, huge angel sleeved blouses (could hide lots of things in there), toy guns.

Smells that take you back: Charlie perfume, mothballs (shrug), coconut, oh what’s the soap called – Leather something…… Imperial leather, that’s it!

Sounds you were raised on: Beatles, Elvis, Simon and Garfunkel, Rolling Stones

The electronic babysitter (TV and/or radio):  Doctor Who, The Archers, Alistair Cooke’s letter from America, last of the summer wine, are you being served, Some mothers do ‘ave ‘em.

Earliest memories: Waking up in the night at the age of 2 to find that my dolly’s arm had fallen off, still scarred to this day.

Leave us with a quote: Childhood:  the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth – two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.  ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1911


OK TAG YOU’RE IT – post your own here, or at Treps place, or on your own blog and link to it here.


Home Sweet Home

It is so great to be home with my kids. (Ok, great doesn’t even begin to describe the joy I feel at being surrounded by their smiley faces again). But I feel sad that my vacation is over. I did so much, met so many great people, made new forever friends, renewed old acquaintances and experienced new things. Going on a solo vacation was a total first for me. I have always (in my mind anyway) been a mom, and the kids have always been front and centre. So for me to take advantage of the time they were spending with their dad, to do something for myself, was a huge step. One I am so glad I took, and something I plan to do more often.


I was overwhelmed by the grand scope of things in NY. I think my catchphrase for this trip was “OMG it’s so big” – applied to everything!


Hadassah took NY by storm. I even learned to navigate the subway system, not bad for a person who feels directionally challenged all the time!!  While there I attended a bris, an engagement and a wedding. (and yes I dressed to kill lol). I shopped the avenues in Brooklyn, and I totally hit the big name stores in Manhattan. Visa thinks I am their new best friend. Don’t tell them that I am also associating with MasterCard and Amex! Century 21 along with Syms has become my new Mecca. I am not used to being able to find such great selection of clothing in my size that’s not geared only toward teens. So I loaded up. Got a great Tahari suit for peanuts…what a thrill!!  But sadly, shoes did not make it into my shopping bags. I would not have had room, so I bade them all a fond farewell. Sniff sniff. I was fortunate to see a Broadway show – Gypsy, and to have the experience of standing in line at TKTS to find out what we could see for cheaper. It’s a real experience. Patti LuPone starred in Gypsy and was more than phenomenal. I would totally see it again. I watched no TV this trip – who even had the time?


I did the touristy stuff too – walked along the Brooklyn bridge, visited the empire state building, ground zero, Central Park zoo, NY Aquarium, the Guggenheim and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Word of warning – the Guggenheim sucks the juices out of certain cellphones, for some reason there is no signal inside the building so the phones are always searching and that kills them dead.


Culinarily, this vacation was a huge experience. I ate at kosher Dunkin Donuts (although have since been informed that having an egg n cheese croissant is Bishul Akum, so I am not too sure it’s an experience I shall repeat), I had a meatball sub at Subway in Flatbush (kosher) with Uncle Moishe’s “bang bang bang with a hammer” playing over the loudspeaker (talk about weird experiences…..whoa nelly!). I ate great sushi in a lovely restaurant, and had even better sushi at a picnic on the beach by candlelight. Eggplant parmesan at a local café with the most vilest drink I had ever tasted – a yogurt – mint milkshake. It was totally disgusterating. But we followed that with Carvel ice cream – a  total treat for me, reminding me of my dad taking us to Carvel in Boro Park when I could have been no more than 9 years old. The Nine Days made me sick of fish, but I ate out at Café Renaissance who did the most miraculous dairy tiramisu. Almost orgasmic. I ate at a kosher Mexican place, at Kosher Deluxe with great company (you know who you are), Kosher Delight and a whole host of other fancy and not so fancy places. At one point I risked getting lost in Central Park in order to find a kosher place to eat. (Now, that park is HUGE). I have to say one of the best places I ate at was My Most Favourite Dessert in Manhattan (maybe it had to do with the company…..I was with one of my most favourite aunts).


I have to say that after the first 3 days of stuffing my face I was worried that I would pile on the pounds. But with no car at my disposal I walked on average 50 blocks a day, so all that tiramisu and pasta with cream sauce did not stick to my hips.


I was so blessed to stay with good friends, and I felt at home there. I made my chicken soup and kneidlach for both shabbatot and it was very well received. Shabbat without my boys is generally difficult for me, but being away and being with loving friends helped me through it.


I fasted Tisha B’av for the first time in a long time, and it was an experience I will never forget. Hearing the Rabbi read Eicha moved me so much. He cried as he read it, and for some reason, this year, Israel’s past suffering resonated deeply within me. I spent the day with my friends in a meaningful way and I am so much better for it.


I was blessed to meet up with my kids at the wedding I attended, and that was the biggest treat ever. To get their hugs and kisses and their love in the middle of my vacation was just the icing on the cake. And they put up with my kissing them in public too. I must cherish that memory.


All in all, it was a great vacation, with the potential for more to come of the friendships I have made. I am beat, overwhelmed with laundry, but I could not be happier. I have great memories, I have my boys around me, and life can continue on its merry way.


I wrote my speech this week, the one that I am planning to give at the barmitzvah. I had no idea that it would be as emotionally wracking as giving birth. I love to write, I love words, I love creating with the gift of words. I am hardly ever at a loss for words. Yet every time I have sat down to write this speech, I have been unable to verbalize my feelings. How can you write about unconditional love in words? How does something so profound, so much a part of who I am, get reduced to a few sentences, and have justice done to it??


I had some ideas for what I wanted to say, and I know I had to include a dvar torah, being a religious occasion and all. I didn’t want to say a drash on the week’s parsha, because I am sure the rabbis and other speakers will all do that, my son too. I wanted to do something different (hey I have to be me) but appropriate.


After the Barmitzvah is over, I will reprint the speech here. Hopefully it won’t be tear stained on your screen. But I wanted to share with you the main idea, because I cannot explain how it occurred to me, it just appeared through my fingers.


Every Friday night in many religious households the parents bless their children. They put their hands on the child’s head and ask G-d to bless them to be like Efraim and Menashe – for boys, and like Sara, Rivka, Rochel and Leah – for girls. It’s a very moving time, and I feel a tear in my eye with each child I bensch, every single time. I always end off by telling the boys that I love them (and usually leave them a huge lipsticked kiss in the centre of their foreheads)


So I decided to take this idea of bensching them, and find out why these specific men are to be emulated, and turn it into an appropriate dvar torah. It has a wonderful message to it, all about sibling unity, loving your brother as yourself, staying steadfast in Judaism no matter the exterior temptations etc. I think it is a wonderful and applicable message to a barmitzvah boy, especially who is one of four brothers.


Of course I added the requisite praise for my barmitzvah boy, and I also included a sentence or two for each of his brothers. It won’t be a long speech, but it will definely give the guests a glimpse into this mother’s heart, into how she feels on such a wondrous day.


Here is a brief excerpt:

“I am so blessed to stand before you all today. I make this promise in front of all of you. I will continue to raise my sons in the warmth and love of Yiddishkeit, I promise to do my best to continue to imbue in them a sense of belonging to their people. I thank G-d for His abundant gifts, and I thank Him for the opportunity of having these children in my life. While we may never know what’s in store for us, I have faith that it will all be for the good.”


I am hoping to speak just before my son, and to have the honour of introducing him. He told me he was sad in a way that my speech is happening on Shabbat – he wanted to videotape it and keep it for posterity. I haven’t let him read it, and have promised nothing it contains will embarrass him. I honestly hope I can make it through without crying too much.


A sweet little story. We were at the store this week picking up his altered suit and ties and stuff. He was so excited. I hugged him and said “son, I am so proud of you” (yes, tears in my eyes) and he said “Ima, why? Coz I was born?” and I said that that was exactly why. He rolled his eyes and thought I was weird. I told him that when he will be a mother he will understand 😉 . I truly am proud of him for being born, for being the boy he is, I am so honoured and privileged to be called Ima by the four most amazing sons in the universe. Being a mother is so much more than anything a word, a sentence, a book, could ever say.


Shabbat Shalom!





Just when things were quiet hate surfaces once more. CNN has updated reports as does Haaretz.

A suspected terrorist got behind the wheel of a huge bulldozer in Jerusalem and attacked a bus and several vehicles, leaving people dead and injured. The police shot the terrorist at point blank range and killed him.

When will this end?

I shall update when I can.


According to the Jerusalem Post a local hospital is treating a little baby who was injured in the attack, who was apparently thrown out of a car by his parents before their car was smashed by the terrorist. The parents have not yet been located……

The Muqata was there to render Medic support. Go here to read his first person account.





Haveil Havalim #171

weekly jewish blogger carnival is up on Ima on the Bima’s blog.

thanks for the shout out!!

Spa Day Spa Day

I am being treated to a day at the spa, and i am told that i must rest, relax and rejuvenate, and allow myself to be pampered, allow others to do things for me. (why does that not sit well with me, why can’t I give myself permission to be spoiled??). I would never have scheduled this for myself, but i have had the gift certificate since my birthday months ago and the kids finish school tomorrow, so it seems like the right time.  Hm, maybe i am afraid i will like it too much and want to go back every week….

Ok, my savta used to tell me that in order to be a good mother, i have to take care of the little girl inside me too. So, off i go to get pampered and pummelled (oy a good massage – can anything beat that? maybe if the masseuse is good i shall bring her home with me and have her at my beck and call).

Let me leave you with a question – at the spa, when you go, do you tip? should you tip? how much?

Blogger Carnival

go here for Haveil Havalim #169 part one

and here for part two

Haveil Havalim #168 is up

over at Jack’s place! Thanks to Jack for giving us a shout out! Chag Sameach!