Let’s say your grade school child brings home a newsletter from his class, written by the teacher, and you find a typo such as the one shown below. What do you do? Do you ignore it? Do you wonder why the English teacher could not take two seconds to spell check the document? Do you circle it in red and send it back with your child, with a note saying you expect better?
Sally and Kate have been friends since grade school. They are a huge part of each other’s lives. They graduated from college together, got married the same year, and their husbands get along well. They socialize together all the time.
Sally has been having trouble getting pregnant. It’s become the sole focus of most of her conversations. She and her husband have been trying for two years. Kate hasn’t been ready to have kids, yet surprisingly she finds herself pregnant without effort.
She knows she has to tell Sally, the sooner the better, without her hearing from someone else. However, Kate is reluctant to say anything, because she knows that Sally will be upset and jealous.
WWYD in this situation? How would you advise Kate? Should she just tell her outright and brace herself for whichever reaction? Should she have her husband tell Sally’s husband? Is there a way in which she can break the news which will not devastate Sally? Did this happen to you? How did you handle it?
(Disclaimer: Before you all start putting 2 and 2 together and making 17 please note that this is a purely hypothetical situation. No pitter patter of tiny feet over here).
A fellow Jblogger posted this on her blog yesterday, and she wanted my opinion. I asked her if I could post it here for your opinion – what do you think? WWYD in her situation?
I’ve got an ethical dilemma on my hands, and I’m seeking advice. But I think the underlying issue is very relevant to all of us: when a “good” mistake happens to us, is it serendipity or just a mistake that we have an ethical obligation to fix? (Apparently “fix” is a very Southern verb. Just go with it.)
Here’s my dilemma:
I take a daily medication. My bargain-basement student insurance (evilly, in my opinion) makes me fill it every month, even though it is available in a 3-month supply, which is significantly cheaper than purchasing one month at a time. I don’t know what happened this month, but they gave me the 3-month supply, and I didn’t notice until almost 2 weeks after I filled the prescription. I don’t have the receipt anymore, but I’m pretty certain I only paid the (higher-per-unit) one-month price.
Should I attempt to return the two extra months’ supply to the pharmacy? (I’m not even sure that they can take back “used” medication since it may have been tampered with.) Or, knowing that the next two months are going to be tight financially, has HaShem sent me a little goodwill?
UPDATE: Bright minds have confirmed that I cannot return the medication, but that I may be able to pay the difference. However, because of the insurance rules, I’m not sure that I would be allowed to. I might be liable for the non-insured price
Posted in wwyd?
The other day I was running errands, and had to drive on residential streets to get to a couple of places. At one stop, I saw a 4 year old girl on the side of the road beckoning to someone on the other side of the street. I had to quickly slam on my brakes as there was a toddler, an 18 month old, wobbling her way across the street when there were cars driving on both sides. The toddler stopped in front of my car and smiled and waved, and promptly sat down. (As I read this over, I can hear you say that there is no way this really happened. It did. I wish I was making it up).
The sister beckoned to the little kid, who took his/her time getting up and moseying on over to the other side of the road, leaving it clear for me to drive. I was shaken. Where the heck was the mother? The father? You leave your toddler in the care of a six year old, who is unaware that the road is not a place for her younger sibling to be playing?? What is wrong with you?
Happens to be I know these people. Not well. Just enough to say hello to if I see them at the grocery store.
Do I say something? If I say something they are going to feel judged, as they should. They may just take it as if I am sticking my nose in where it isn’t wanted. My purpose in telling them would be so that they could keep a closer eye on all their children. G-d forbid one of them gets hurt due to their negligence. This isn’t the first incident that I have seen negligence on their part concerning their children. Or do I just pray that the children are kept safe by G-d? What would you do?
From one of the message-boards….
Neighbors of mine had a Simcha [celebratory occasion] this past Shabbat and asked if I could host their guests. It was no problem and I prepared the guest room.
Around Friday noon time their child came over with two packages – a beautifully wrapped gift (crystal tray) for me, and a bag for the guests with various items and itinerary.
I placed the guest bag in the guest room and unwrapped the gift for myself, discarded the wrapping paper, and put the tray into a closet.
About an hour before Shabbat, they phoned me to let me know that the guests that were supposed to stay with us had cancelled.
Now what do I do? Send back the tray (I’m embarrassed because I unwrapped it. Also they may be embarrassed if I return their gift)? Send back the guest bag (I certainly don’t need it)? Or just leave things as they are?
Help me out you etiquette experts!
So, readers, what should be done here? Return the gift and the guest package? Keep it? What would you do?
Posted in wwyd?
So, you sent in your resume and cover letter to apply for the position that you recently saw advertised. The business is local, and you are excited at the prospect of working for this dynamic company as part of a team.
After a few nail biting days you receive an invitation to come for an interview next week. You do your homework on the company and find out that you know someone who works there. So you call them up and go through your list of questions.
This contact tells you that while the person interviewing you is extremely competent at his job, he has a bias when hiring. When it comes to the interview, you are told, you should wear a shorter skirt, make sure you show some leg, wear a tight top too, leave your hair loose, and that way you are guaranteed the job. If you dress down or not-sexy there is a chance that you won’t be successful.
a) Follow instructions because you really want to work there?
b) Dress as you normally dress and hope for the best?
c) Decide to do the opposite, dress completely dowdy, and hope you are hired based on experience?
d) Cancel the interview because you don’t want to work for someone like that?
(From the mailbag)
Dear Mama H,
I have a friend with a son the same age as mine. We live close to each other and at first I thought it would be great for the 2 boys to become friends.
However, I don’t like the way my friend speaks to her son (she seems to shout at him a lot, and can be quite aggressive) and her son also behaves the same way, he plays a bit too rough, shouts a lot and is very pushy. My son complained to me about this and so now they don’t play together any more
Just now another friend with a son the same age also mentioned how she doesn’t want her son playing with this friend’s son, for the same reasons (she didn’t say who it was, but I knew who she meant).
I feel really bad for my friend and worried a bit for her child. My friend does not have an easy time of things, but she definitely means well and tries hard to be a good parent. I don’t think I’m close enough to her to tell her all this, and even if I do, how would she change her son’s behavior so quickly, if at all?
WWYD? Would you say anything, and if so what?
So, readers, what would you advise this mother to do?
Posted in wwyd?
A friend of mine has a bunch of kids, ranging in ages from 10 to 16, old enough that they can be home alone by themselves for a little bit.
The parents went out, and when they returned they realized that the children had figured out Mommy’s computer password and had gone online – something that they know they are not to do without parental supervision.
The parents are obviously upset, and Dad decided that he was going to totally disconnect the internet from the house. Mom wonders if this is overkill or a suitable punishment. The kids knew the rules, and broke them and they need to be punished. Taking away the internet reduces the parents’ ability to work from home in the future and doesn’t teach the children online responsibility, IMHO.
Dad wants Mom to sit with the kids when they are online – something that busy moms cannot do. Unless she is willing to sit with them as they surf, there will be no internet in the house.
If you were these parents what would you do? Do you think Dad over reacted by cancelling the internet? What would be an appropriate punishment for the kids?
Recently had an email exchange with an acquaintance that left me a little frustrated. This friend is in a highly paid, well respected work environment with major responsibilities. She lives and breathes her career. She is married but has no kids, yet.
She has been recently diagnosed with a chronic ailment that is not life threatening but if she doesn’t take care of herself it could severely debilitate her. She is of the opinion that to let her superiors at work know is tantamount to giving in her resignation. She feels she will lose all respectability and credibility and will be treated as an invalid and encouraged to take disability.
I feel that her superiors should know that something is going on, so that they can be sympathetic when she has a flare up or has to take time of for tests or treatments. Perhaps they can accommodate her work needs better so that she can be more effective.
If I were a boss I would want to know what was going on with my employee.
WWYD in her situation?
I have a close friend who has an adorable 6 year old daughter who hasn’t met a question she didn’t want the answer to. This delicious bundle of energy asks questions on your answers, so you had better not be telling her porkies.
Well, school is out for the summer and she has been home chilling out at Camp Mommy. While her mother was busy with cooking dinner and doing laundry she took it upon herself to explore the house, to see if she could find some treasure. She found herself in her parents’ bedroom.
My friend is in the kitchen cooking dinner, when her daughter appears with a box of condoms in her hands. “Mommy, what are these?”
Now, my friend is of the belief that you always need to tell the truth to your kids, in an age appropriate manner. But these people are somewhat religious (and this manner of birth control is frowned upon), and to hear her daughter tell a friend the next day that mommy and daddy don’t want a baby so they use these things called condoms, and then explain the whole baby making thing – well, she didn’t want to have to deal with that and the potential fall out.
The child received a lesson in not going through other people’s stuff, but we know we all did it as kids. (Sorry Mum!!)
How would you have answered this bright and inquisitive child?