Tag Archives: frumster

Dating Question

Shamelessly lifted from Hashkafa.com. I find their posts so entertaining (but probably not in the way they were intended)

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Let’s say you set two people up. After a date or two, girl feels very positive, likes him a lot, etc. Guy is not saying no and does want to continue dating but he is not so excited and doesn’t think it will lead anywhere.

Do you:

A) Tell the girl exactly where the guy is holding, so she does not get her hopes up too high?

B) Do not say anything, as being fully honest will effect how the girl acts on the next date as she will lose self-confidence.

The guy wants you to pass along the message as he wants to be fully honest, but it is definately your discretion.

What would you do?

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Dating Stories That Make Me Mad

So many times I hear the same story – the girl really likes the guy, or the guy really likes the girl, but they are not ready to make the commitment. I am talking about people who are well entrenched in careers and are supposedly mature, late 20s at least. In our circles, when you date, you date for marriage. What is this rubbish about “I am really into you and I want to be with you, I just am not ready.” What does that mean? What are you waiting for? You have financial security, a good job, prospects, a nice apartment, perhaps you even have a car, you know where your life is going, you have been dating for years. What on earth are you waiting for? If you put yourself out there on the dating scene, you must have thought you were ready. If the person is not right for you, tell him / her that they are not right for you. Don’t say you aren’t ready. That gives them hope, that makes them sit pining for you night after night, hoping that the next day will be the day that you are ready to make the commitment. If after dating someone for a few months you are still not ready to make that final step and your partner is, something is not right in the relationship.

I have heard way too many stories lately about girls / guys hanging on emotionally to their previous dating partner just in case one day they will be ready to marry them. When they ask me my opinion, I tell them to move on. You cannot sit around and wait forever for someone to change their mind. “Oh but s/he will miss me so much that they will have to realize they need me in their life”. Uh, no. Mostly it’s out of sight out of mind. Yes there are exceptions. Sometimes absence does make the heart grow fonder. But not that often. Maybe they don’t want to let the other go in case nothing better comes along – does anyone want to be married for that reason, that nothing better showed up??!! Obviously if they are not ready to take the relationship to the next level, they are not the one for you. Move on. Next!

Be honest. Be true to yourself and to the other person. If s/he is not for you, say it. Don’t keep the other person hanging.

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From the Frumster Files

Guaranteed to get this guy a date – “I am not financially secure at the moment”.