Tag Archives: GPS

Boys and Their Toys

So, I am on the phone Saturday night with the KoD. We catch each other up on how our Shabbat was. He casually mentions “Oh, by the way, you now have your own GPS”. Sweeeeeet. “Did you get me the Pink Garmin one I wanted, honey?” I said, all excited. “Uh no, I got myself a new one, the one I told you about, so now you can have my old one.” (Black Friday sales are awesome!) Gee, so very nice of you, my dear. I get your old hand-me-downs of tech stuff. Apparently this is an unwritten male / female rule. Men get the new version of the toys, their wives get the older generation cast-offs. Not thrilled.

But here is the kicker. KoD added “Hmmm, perhaps you should really have the new one, it tells you when you are going over the speed limit.” Ouch, my dear, truly oucheriffic. Next time I see you I am gonna smack you upside the head with a wet fish, darling husband of mine. And you never go above the speed limit….no. Never.

So, people, does the tech rule exist in your house too?

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Keep left on US 9

GPS is usually very helpful. It gets me from A to B and back again, and is correct maybe 99% of the time. Yesterday I wanted to shoot it. We were invited to the wedding of the son of a close family friend in Lakewood, which in traffic is about a 2 hour drive.

For the last hour of the trip we were on the US Route 9. We stayed straight on this road until we were almost there. For some strange reason, after every 2-5 miles the GPS lady had to remind us to “keep left on US 9” and there was really no other place to be. She could have said keep left on US 9 for 40 miles. She could have. But she likes the sound of her own voice apparently, and had to nag us constantly to do her bidding.

We had a lovely time at the wedding, the couple tied the knot, there was dancing and happiness and merriment, and interesting dresses, and then it was time to come home.

We loaded up the car with our passengers, plugged Ms GPS in…..she was obviously still on her power trip, because all she could say for the first 45 minutes of the trip, every 5 minutes was “keep left on US 9”. I am sure if I turned her on now, she’d still be saying the same thing.

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 So I figure that being as it’s the last full week of vacation that I should do something extremely fun with the kids. I never learn. I should give them options to choose between, instead of allowing them to come up with their own suggestions. I was thinking alomng the lines of the local theme park…..they were thinking ROAD TRIP!!!! Of course, they totally conveniently forgot that their mother hates to highway drive as she has minimal highway experience AND that I am rather directionally challenged.


Their first suggestion was Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream Factory in Vermont (a 3 hour drive). Great suggestion and it includes ice cream – how bad could that be? And I have done that drive before. Easy as pie….well, almost. Then someone remembered that there is a Six Flags in Lake George – they drove past it on their way home from NY last week (also 3 hours away). Very quickly the ice cream people changed their little minds and the chanting began – six flags! lake george! six flags! lake george!…come on Ima, it will be so much fun, you can do it, you know you can, we’ll navigate for you (gee, do you think they are aware of my challenges???). Then number one son comes up with “you do know that you can rent a GPS? And I can even read it for you because I know it’s difficult for you”. He means well. He does. And that certainty of my innate inability to get them there is what pushed me to agree to it. I will prove to them, but even more so to myself, that I can get them there without getting too lost. (Hey, I am a realist!!)


But all is not terrible. My girlfriend decided that she and her kids will join us, and she is a driver too. So we can switch off if necessary. Hopefully it won’t be the blind leading the blind (or the blonde leading the inner-blonde)….you know I loves ya T!


It is all so worth it because the kids are psyched beyond anything I have seen in a long time. Their excitement and faith in me will get us there. I shall make sure that the barmitzvah bochur says Tefillat Haderech. And I have printed out the google map directions – for both ways, and they seem pretty straightforward. No global positioning system, but I have my own GPS – God’s Protective System. I trust in Him….Aint got no choice in the matter.


So, spare a positive thought for this loving indulgent mother driving a fire-engine-red chevy van up the freeway – if you see me coming, get out of the way!!!