The Royal Bank of Ima

 

Hello and welcome to the Royal Bank Of Ima. How may I process your request?

For allowance press One

For lunch money press Two

For all other inquiries press Zero

 

*One is Pressed

Press 1 if homework has been done (I will know if you are lying)

Press 1 again if bed is made

Press 1 again if room is in order

Go back to your room and clean up and then call again, I know you are not being truthful.

DIAL TONE.

 

*Two is Pressed

Press 1 if this is the first request this week

Please enter the menu for the day

Press 1 if it is a balanced meal

Press 1 if you promise to have a vegetable too

 

*Zero is Pressed

I am sorry. The Bank of Ima has temporarily run out of funds because all her customers are bleeding her dry. Please try again later. Our advice to you before you try again – make sure all your clothes are in the hamper, your bedroom and bathroom are clean, your homework is done, your laundry put away, your teeth are brushed, you have made a fresh pot of coffee so you can serve a coffee to your Ima – if you have satisfied all these conditions you may find that there is a possibility of available funding.