Tag Archives: money

Lunch Money

You give a kid 3 bucks to buy lunch at school. You find out that he has used one of those dollars to pay back a one dollar loan he got off one of his brothers. You call him on it, he says that the lunch money is the only money he gets (no allowance), and 2 dollars is more than enough to buy a good lunch.

Is he well within his rights to spend his lunch money as he sees fit, or should he have been upfront about needing 2 bucks for lunch and one buck to pay back a loan?

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Golden Oldies

(or alternatively, In Praise of Older Men)

I used to be one of those judgmental women, who would see a pretty young thing married to an older guy, and be sure she had married him for his money. I am here to apologize to all those pretty young things out there. I am so sorry I jumped to conclusions. Seriously. I know that there are gold diggers out there who are looking for older husbands who have money. I am sure there are younger men out there who marry older women for money too. However, I am sure many marry for love too.  People get married for a variety of reasons. It isn’t for us to judge although with a May to December relationship many people do.

When the KoD first wrote to me after seeing my profile on the dating website, he immediately mentioned his age as being a factor in me probably not wanting to communicate further with him. Truthfully he did not fall into the age range of guys I would date. There was something about him, however, that kept me interested, despite his age. The more we got to know each other the more we realized how well matched we were. Once we met, that was it. I knew he was my beshert.

I am not a gold digger. I did not marry the KoD so he could keep me in the style to which I could become accustomed. He is the man that I love so deeply, who completes me in ways I never could have imagined. Simply – he is my soul mate. Yes, ok, he also happens to be seventeen years older than me. But it works. It really works.

Older men have seen a lot of the world. They have lived and experienced and learnt many of life’s lessons. What might be important to a younger man to make a big deal of, older men know the fight isn’t worth it. They have their priorities well and truly in order. I am not saying that some men my own age do not have the same kind of attitudes. I am sure there are some that do. I just never came across them in my dating life post-divorce. I found most of the men my age (mid thirties) that I dated were immature, and hoping to snag a twenty-five year old hottie. They only dated me to fill time till she showed up. Sadly most are still waiting.

Truth be told, I do not notice the age difference between us. Yes, there is the occasional frame of reference we won’t pick up on, but we are so on the same wavelength about most things. We have had to put up with a lot of comments, about how he’ll never be able to keep up with me or the kids but he is way more active than I am – once we move down to NY I am going to get myself to his gym and see if I can work up to bench pressing more than he can. (What is it now, KoD? 230 lbs?) We have a totally different taste in music – but that is no way an age thing. I think you will find many men are just not into 80s music. He’s very well versed in politics – initially I thought that was an age thing. Then I spent more time with more Americans, and realized it’s more of a cultural thing.

I am quite open about the fact that I always was drawn to older men. There is something that is alluring to me, maybe it’s a sense of protection and security that I didn’t have growing up? My own father left when I was little, so I am sure that plays into it too. But why psychoanalyze so much? If it works, it works. Thank God this marriage that we have, a year old today, is more than I ever could dream of it being. I have never been so cherished and so loved and so respected as I am by the KoD. I have never felt this secure in any relationship in my entire life.

So again, I apologize for jumping to conclusions when previously looking at couples comprised of older men and younger women. I won’t ever make that mistake again.

Older Men Rock! Love you, my KoD.

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How aware of your money are you?

I recently needed to pick up a prescription for the KoD at the pharmacy. With health insurance covering most of it, there was to be just a smaller amount to pay. Seeing as the beginning of the year had just been and gone, he had told me that his initial deductible for the year had been charged the last time.

The pharmacist handed over the meds, and charged me more than I had expected. Now, you have to realize something. I have no clue about KoD’s health insurance, don’t even know what company. Once I live here and am on it, better be sure I will. I was running around, doing errands, helping him out, so he could get work done. I knew the pharmacist charged me too much but I didn’t feel like I knew enough to challenge him on it.

I came home, handed the bill to the KoD who of course said I had been charged too much. Apparently they had charged him the deductible a second time. He called the insurance company, they agreed there was a mistake, they called the pharmacy, I went back and they reimbursed me the difference and apologized.

My question is this: how many of you would even have been aware you were over charged, how many would have called the insurance company to clear it up, and how many of you might be aware that something hinky was going on but not be bothered to deal with it?

There was a time, years ago, that I would never have questioned the pharmacy on a bill. I would have assumed that seeing as they had computers and are all automated that they would be right every time. WRONG! I would probably have walked away having paid too much money and lost out. Am I right in assuming many of you would too? Someone even told me that they don’t even look at the bill when picking stuff up from the pharmacy.

Be aware, people!!!

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Gratuities for the teachers?

There is an unofficial unwritten rule in our yeshiva that you are supposed to tip the rebbes at Purim time. There has been no official guideline set out, and I never do it. Why? A) because I already pay tuition and B) they are getting paid a salary to teach my kid and C) because I do not have that kind of money to tip four rabbeim!! (I have heard of them getting in the hundreds from one parent.)

Last night a bunch of us were having a conversation on this subject, after a couple of people had received letters from their children’s yeshivot outlining the Chanukah tip suggestions. Rebbeim are supposed to get more than Morahs (male teachers vs female – don’t get me started) and some of the suggested tips went up to $360!!!

In this economy who has extra money? Private school tuition takes a huge chunk out of one’s salary, plus all the other extras you have to pay for – dinner, book fees, building fund, photocopying fee, get-you-every-which-way-we-can fee etc. How dare they send a letter saying you should tip the teachers??!!

I tip the superintendent in my building at Xmas time. He does a lot extra for me and I slip him a bill. He doesn’t expect it nor ask for it and it is MY choice whether to tip him or not. He will not treat me any differently whether I do or don’t.

The teachers – if you do not tip them, will they mark your child down? If you do tip, does s/he get higher grades? Does tipping only apply if they are doing a good job? We are all hurting financially in this economy – and I get that teachers are not paid that well in yeshivas – but who has extra money for this? Do the teachers count on this? Do they report the tips to the IRS? If one parent of every kid in a class of 24 gave a hundred dollars, that’s $2400 – a huge amount.  Do the teachers count on this for parnassah?

Its bad enough the government always has their hands in our wallets, now the schools too?


For a more in your face take on this subject go visit DovBear and read what he has to say.

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Heinous or Harmless – gift giving


You are given a gift of money by a relative for a birthday or anniversary. You take that money, go into a store and buy something for someone else with that money. You also know that the person who gave you the money absolutely dislikes the person for whom you are buying a gift. Is it wrong to spend that money on that person? Or is it your money once you have received it and you can spend it then on whom you like?


Interested in what you think….