Sometimes it’s the comments that aren’t premeditated that hurt the most. Recently, being the only slim person at a table with some people of larger size, I felt very insulted. I was offered dessert after eating a full meal, and I politely declined. So this guy who I hardly knew says “what are you? Anorexic or something?” and carried on with his life commentary (totally inappropriate table talk, but that was who he was). It wasn’t even his house or his table.
What if his assessment had been true? Wouldn’t that have hurt even more? Part of me wanted to say to him, why yes, I am anorexic – something a pig like you can’t ever understand because you have never met a food you don’t like, never said no to the fifth dessert.
No one, and again I am making this point, would dare to say “oh you’re having another piece of cake? Aren’t you already morbidly obese? Don’t you think you should stop?” But because thin is in people think they can joke about anorexia and get away with it. Obesity and Anorexia are both illnesses that can prove fatal, and neither should be joked about. If I decline dessert it’s because I am full. Not because I am obsessing about the number I will next see on the scale. I am slim, yes, and I guess that makes some people jealous, but do not mock my size, for I am starting to get sick of it.
When I was heavier, and I was for a while, there were barely any size comments – I remember one lady commenting, tho, on how she thought I had had a boob job. Gaining 40+ pounds in 2 months will add dimensions in places there were none before. But no one dared mention weight in my presence. They knew that a formerly skinny person who had been slim all her life and now was seven sizes bigger than her original self would have been upset to hear that. I dropped the 40+ (and a little more) and now I am fair game?
People, do not comment on size. It can be so hurtful. The only time its acceptable is if you are truly worried about a friend’s health – whether they be too large or too small, and then, please, choose your words appropriately. People of all shapes and sizes are vulnerable to size-ist remarks. Don’t say anything to anyone you wouldn’t want to hear said to you.