In honor of Father’s Day, I share the link to what I posted two years ago. Lessons of the fathers.
Last year I posted For the KoD on Father’s Day.
Happy Father’s Day to all you men out there who step up to plate time and time again to do what’s right, and to be awesome role models for your children.
This is a question that was emailed to me to pose on my blog. It has been edited to adjust flow.
“I am a newly remarried mother of an 8 year daughter. Her bio-dad has had nothing to do with her since we divorced 6 years ago. Her step dad has been in her life for two years and they have a lot of fun together. All three of us get along most of the time. However, my daughter will go crazy whenever my husband touches me in an affectionate manner, kiss on the cheek, arm around the shoulder etc. She hits him, kicks him in the leg and tells him to “get off my mommy!!” He has only ever been sweet and kind to both of us. What can I do? Why is she like this? She sits on his lap, she hugs him at bedtime. Why can he not touch me? If I am the one to initiate contact with him she says nothing and does nothing until he responds in kind. But you can see in her eyes that she is watching and waiting. I want us to be a normal family, but we are afraid to show affection in front of her.”
So, dear readers, you generally have wonderful insight and ideas – what do you make of this situation? What would you advise?
Two people get married. One brings biological children into the family home full time. The other parent’s children visit occasionally, let’s say every second weekend. How does one prevent the non custodial children from being jealous and envious that the other kids get to live with their biological parent full time?
What does one do when one’s young step-children, who do not live in the newly established marital home, refuse to come see their biological parent because they “hate” the new step-parent(for no reason other than the fact that this person married their biological parent)? Bonding time is so necessary, and the more time they spend in the new environment with the new step-parent, the more they can see that s/he might actually be a decent person.
When visitation is granted by the courts – how far does one go to enforce it if the child really doesn’t want to come? If they are small enough does one just pick them up physically and carry them to the car kicking and screaming? At what point does the child get his/her own way?
How does one answer “I won’t come because I hate your spouse”? How does one stop this from causing pain, even though you know it isn’t personal?