I took my sons for an interview at the local yeshiva. During the summertime it is being used for a girls’ day camp. While we were waiting out in the hallway, two little girls were dropped off by their parent. Their bunk happened to be in the foyer where we were waiting. One of those assembled piped up as she saw her friend exiting the car – “she wore that dress yesterday! And when her friend showed up she told her the same thing to her face.
The teenage counselor will make an excellent teacher or parent. Straight after the girl’s comment about her bunkmate she told her that the little girl obviously was very careful with her clothes and managed to keep them clean to wear them again the next day.
I know boys don’t notice that kind of thing. But these were little 8 year old girls. To be so obvious and make an announcement out loud like that – is that normal for a little girl? Are they obsessed with clothes? Is it wrong for a little kid to wear something for two days in a row?
(This said by a mom who sometimes has been heard to say “you have worn those pants / that shirt / those socks for three days straight. I am sure they could walk away by themselves by now. Put on something clean” – Oh the joys of raising boy children!!!!!!)
Posted in essay
Tagged boys, girls, mars, venus
You have a single girlfriend who is, as they say, in the parsha ie dating for marriage. She needs guidance. You are sympathetic to her story and want to help her all you can. However she prefers to speak with your husband, finds his advice more helpful for some reason. You have no reason to distrust her, but it makes you uncomfortable. Hubby thinks you are over reacting – it’s not like either of them are hiding their conversations from you.
Is this appropriate? Should single women be calling a married man for advice about anything? For that matter, should married women call someone else’s husband for advice about anything? Eg furniture, cars, politics etc.
What are your thoughts?
(not my story, not my husband)
I just vented the following story to my eldest son and he says it makes absolute sense. He also says it’s male logic and I just have to accept it.
Yesterday I sent a picture to the KoD of some bed linens I had found in the linen closet. (You will remember we have discussed buying new linens and cannot agree on a pattern). I had bought them about 3 years ago, and used them for a while until I found something more girlie. But all I said with the picture was – do you like this bedding? His response – “a most emphatic NO”. Then I told him that I found it in my linen closet. His response – “if free, then I like it”.
What on earth do you mean by that? If you don’t like it then you don’t like it! No? His explanation was that if I was going to spend money on it, then no absolutely not, there is no way on God’s green earth that he would want me to buy that bedding. But if we already have it, then why not. Sure I can bring it down with me and we can use it.
Does this make sense to you? Is this really a crazy male logic thing? When I like something then I like it. If I hate it, free or not, it won’t change my mind!!
A new series.
I say this so often to the KoD. He drives me crazy sometimes with his pragmatic look at the world. He is Mr Logic and I am Ms Emotion. It makes for some interesting conversations. I attribute a lot of it to him being a man, and looking at things in the male perspective, but maybe, just maybe, it’s just him?
My KoD has the most clutterless house I have ever seen. You don’t need something, out it goes. Papers are filed, they do not pile up (shocking!!), no dirty clothes on the floor, no socks under the sofa cushions, no wet towels thrown over the bed. When he takes something out of the cupboard he puts it back in the same place when he is done. (OK this is something I really like!! Wish the boys would learn to put things back). He is not OCD – but is seemingly allergic to excess stuff. Oh what a rude awakening he is in for when we move in!! Snicker.
Me, on the other hand, I have stuff. I am a woman, and as most people know, being a woman means having a lot of stuff, especially, if like me, you are a girlie girl. Make up and hair dryers, curling irons, and hair products, wigs and hats and scarves, in every shade and colour. Lotions and potions. 170 different pairs of shoes vs the 3 pair that most men have. We have clothes that fit us, and clothes that don’t but we wish that they did so we hold onto them just in case we lose those excess pounds. We have photos and mementoes that we have kept since we were in grade school. (I still have my autograph book from when I left elementary school). Birthday cards that our kids made for us in Kindergarten. The dollar store fake carnation they presented us with at their first grade French Spectacle. Most of the things we keep have feelings and memories attached to them. Ladies – you know what I am talking about!!
So we were talking the other day about packing and moving and all of that, and I happened to mention that I have a lot of the kids’ artwork to bring with me. His view – I am sure it is sweet etc but why do you need to keep it? (Well, I do have most things in quadruplicate. Same school, same teachers for all 4). Because the kids made it for me. “But why do you need to keep it? You are not going to look at it again. Ever.” – again, my answer “Because the kids made it for me. Duh!!”. “But what is the point of keeping it? They drew that when they were 3 – they can draw better now. Get rid of it.” Sigh. He is such a guy. I bet he would say to chuck out that carnation too…
It isn’t that he is not sentimental. He is. He hasn’t thrown out any of the cards I have sent him (but maybe that’s because he knows he would be in BIG trouble) and he does appreciate when the kids draw him something, or make him some lego or show him something they are working on. It just doesn’t need to stay around in a drawer for years.
KoD, I love you to pieces, but you are such a guy!!!
Posted in declutterfication, family, kids, marriage, You are such a guy!
Tagged clutter, declutterfication, kids, KoD, mars, men, OCD, venus, women